One week

I'm sorry for your loss, notoveryet. How silly of people to suggest that, having lost your husband, you now get rid of the other two members of your immediate family, the dogs. It's almost like saying get rid of a child. If there is any doubt about exercising them being too much you could try and find a dog walker locally or walk one at a time. I was struggling at one time and found a nice girl who took one of the dogs out once or twice a week. I managed most of the time.

And for the gran who said someone suggested you get rid of the leads and bowls when the dog died, we've still got Molly's lead and collar two years after she died. And her coat too. And we and the remaining dog all still miss her.

I am so sorry about the death of your husband, I have been through this tough time myself. But so much depends on your own personal circumstances. If you are not sure over taking some decisions, wait. If you are sure, for instance about the dogs, do it. I had my house on the market within 6 months and had moved to another area two months later. It was the best thing I could have done. Good luck.

Sending hugs - I too lost my lovely husband after 41 years. and I miss him dreadfully. Having our dog to look after has helped in the fact of having to get up and take him for walks. So keep yours ?

Please don't get rid of your digs - they too will be grieving for someone who loved them and who they loved.
After my DH death our dogs were a blessing and soaked up many tears.

Sorry - dogs not digs.

Can't add anything to what's been said ?? to all who have lost their oh .notoveryet give dogs cuddles .

I am very sorry for your loss and your sadness and I wish you comfort in your dark hours. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. We need to do it our way, in our own space and time. Take all the time you need. I'm sure your beloved dogs will also miss your DH and they will feel your sadness too. You will need them in your life more now, as they have needed you. Thinking of you

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I’ve been in your shoes myself, not so long ago.

I, too, found that people can seem insensitive when trying to be helpful. It’s hard to bear, I know, when you’re feeling bruised and vulnerable, but it is usually because they don’t understand your position and are not sure what to say.

Hold fast to your family, your good friends and your lovely dogs who will all give you comfort at this hardest of times. Early days to make any decisions, anyway.

Sending you my good wishes and
???

There are two time scales as regards bereavement.
It takes a MINIMUM of TWO years or a maximum of a lifetime.
It cannot be rushed, it cannot be forced, and must be left to take its course so sod anybody else you do what you feel as your heart and body dictate.
Welcome to the journey I am wondering where the end of my journey is.
I still talk to her every day and pray for her every day and offer up every mass for her

so sorry for your loss. People who don't have dogs don't understand that they are family members and exactly who you do need around you now especially, but also for the rest of your life. She was probably bumbling around trying to be helpful and say the right thing and it went all wrong. Its nice that she's trying, hopefully she'll realise her mistake. Huge hugs xx

I echo Smiley4's words. Also - I am a dog walker for the Cinnamon Trust - a National Charity who will walk dogs when the owner is not able to, adequately. It's a very caring concern and they will try hard to find a volunteer (or 2) to help out, who lives near. They have a website with further information. I think there is a financial commitment to the charity but it's very small (maybe £5 or £10 for a year).

Condolences to you ?

Just hold on to the happiest of times with your dear husband, and also hold on to those lovely dogs. They will know exactly how you feel, and they will share your loss. There is nothing on this earth to surpass the gentle, endless devotion and comfort of a loved dog - and I am sure that yours will tread every step of the grief and recovery process with you. Those who have suggested that you 'get rid of them' are almost to be pitied; they clearly don't understand that it would only add to your heartache, and neither are they privileged to have known the unconditional love that will help you.
I send my condolences and a wish for you to find peace of mind .

So happy you had that 'extra' year ??

So sorry for your immense loss. The last thing you need is to lose your beloved dogs as well. Soak up their love and I think you already know how much of a comfort they will be while you grieve; however you need to do this and however long it takes, the dogs will be your constant and, as you said, a reason to carry on. Sending a big hug.

Also Notoveryet you may find bereavement counselling a help. Our local hospice offered that service and it was a godsend in those early days, I don’t think you have to have had dealings with them previously to make use of that service. After initial bereavement counselling, a few months later I joined a group called ‘stepping forward’ which was a kind of next stage up group for those who had lost their partner in life. It was a social group once a month where you could meet for coffee and social outings were organised you could go to if you wished. This group was also a godsend to me as I found normal socialising situations nigh on impossible for quite a long while as I never knew when I would just burst into tears, it catches you so very unawares. At least when it happened in this group you were with others who totally ‘got it’ and were a great help.

You might have similar groups you could consider some way down the line. I found it such a help that I along with a few others started our own similar social group in another area closer to me and am constantly amazed at the real need for groups of this sort for the bereaved. We have over a hundred people on our membership list!

I also found it took a good 2 years before I felt remotely human again. The grief never leaves you but there comes a point when you can tuck your beloved safely away into a corner of your heart and bring them out now and again for an airing BUT grief still rears its head and catches me unawares occasionally even ten years down the line and now in another relationship but it is much less often now.

My sincere condolence at this very sad time. Your dogs will be great company for you and someone to talk to and share your feelings with. I talk to my cats and tell them my troubles. They do listen you know. Big hugs.

So sorry for you notoveryet and please ignore those ridiculous people who told you to "get rid of" your two lovely dogs... they haven't got a clue! vickya hit the nail on the head with her comments. Meantime do come back to GN for lots of sympathy and support whenever you need it! ??⚘

Sorry for your loss, and I hope that you find the GN friends and community to be a help. There are many on here who can honestly say 'I know how you feel". When my DF died, their large dog was a huge help to my Mother. A reason to get up, a reason to speak in an empty house and a means of talking to others when DM took the dog out. You need your dogs and they need you too.

I'm so terribly sorry for the sad loss of your DH. People find it hard to say the right thing at these difficult times and sometimes get it wrong. I'm sure they wouldn't mean to hurt. Your dogs will sit with you at the most lonely times and bring you comfort. Sending lots of love.

Bumblebee34, I think your response was the most wonderful thing I've ever read. My brother's spouse died suddenly back in 2006 (suicide) and he came home to find his body. It was an awful time. I moved in to help him out and lived with him for 12 years until he found another Significant Other whom he is very happy with. During those long years I watched him go through all of these situations you are describing, especially the one step forward/two steps back thing. Healing is never a neat, orderly process and I think people are quite thoughtless when they think (and say!) that someone should be over the grief in X amount of time. If one has never been through it, then one really doesn't know what it's like and should simply offer support....or close their own mouth rather than make negative suggestions.

Your dogs are your lifeline know, you will make new friends when you are walking them.

So so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband ...you are doing the right thing to keep the dogs …..sadly some people want to say something and don't know what to say, and so say the wrong thing. A hug is all that is needed then to keep you going.

So sorry to hear of your loss ??

Very kind words Marilii but I am only saying how the grief journey was for me, I know it is not the same for everyone. My heart always lurches when I hear of someone newly bereaved for I know some of what lies ahead of them and feel that I want to reach out to them and let them know they are not alone on this journey and hopefully they will see that light at the end of a long dark tunnel and emerge on the other side, never unscathed I think but hopefully in a position to move forward with life which sometimes you have to almost force yourself to do at times but is always worth it I think.