I am so sorry for your loss. My husband died last year. He was not ill, he was 56 - i am 68, he never smoked or drank and was not overweight, he used to play football and table tennis 3 day a week. Even the doctor was shocked. He just got up one morning and had a heart attack. I think the stress of the lockdown affected him as he couldn't get out and do sports and the stress killed him. I felt so numb and felt I had no purpose in life anymore. I didn't find counsellors helped but I had to keep busy, sorting cupboards, planning shopping trips, visiting people where I could. Even now there are many days when I am in tears, the heartbreak doesn't go away but hopefully in time it gets easier to bear. x