Older Love

Perhaps some of us were just lucky to find the right person at the right time. DH was my one and only blind date, when I was 19, he proposed to me 12 days later and that is the only time he has ever done anything in a hurry! We had very little in common at the time and still have different opinions on many things so love is the only explanation for the success of our marriage. We have grown together in so many ways and now share a lot of interests.

We love each other and are happy to show that wherever we happen to be.

It is good to see so many others who have been as fortunate as us.

Oldgreymare I can identify with much that you say !

All I can say is - to those blessed with the happy and loving relationship we all presumably wish to have, keep it going and best wishes to you. To those sadly no longer in that position - never give up hope there is someone for everyone, perfectly matched, out there somewhere, the hard part of course is meeting them. And finaly to those like me resigned to a life alone whether it be by choice or by circumstance - life has an uncanny way of testing our resolve but I do think humans were designed to share.

OGM we can't be sharing aDH as mine is also away this week. My problem was solved when he retired and was given the Weekly Shop as his job. The list is detailed minutely and he checks the freezer and fridge. I was always a proactive shopper he is reactive so I use him being away to stock up on things which I hide in the garage. Hate running out of things especially gin or tonic. It's worth it cos my tummy lurches when I see him.

Stansgran I've tried that, it was a dismal failure. He didn't stick to the list (pots and kettles come to mind!!!) and bought what he called 'impulse buys' (forbidden to me , of course!) lots of bars of chocolate (I don't eat chocolate) and triple quantities of things that he likes which were then ceremoniously deducted from 'housekeeping'.

Have you thought of wailing loudly and a few theatrical sobs, not real tears so bad for the mascara! might help. My problem is gin. I like Plymouth and I have taste buds whereas he used to smoke. This gin has now gone up to £27 in S'bury's and so DH decided I could try the taste the diff. one c.£14. I thought it was pretty horrid and have been surreptitiously pouring it down the sink- the sink is now very clean. We have moved on to M&S bog standard. Quite grim. To cap it all I totted up the beer bottles in the recycling box- at three for £5 there were fifteen bottles for one week whereas one bottle of gin lasts a month unless one of his gin drinking friends arrives......I feel like a female Spock when faced with male logic. It keeps me amused.

I used to find throwing things helped.it didn't work after he learnt that if he stood still he was safe

Galen
Stansgran totally agree about the mascara (doesn't come out of housekeeping, by the way).
Nothing nastier than bog standard ANYTHING.... try soaking off the labels and substituting.
No good at chucking anything Galen even chucking bread for the birds it often ends up in next door's garden (luckily no old git living there!)

It's the shape of the bottle. I think I will save an empty and fill with decent stuff. Good thinking there OGM

Stansgran sorry, you can tell I'm not a gin drinker. If you were nearer I'd offer you a G&T as I always keep a bottle in for my sister, it doesn't go off does it?

I was 56 when my husband of 30 years became ill and died after 2 years of illness he was 57. I was alone for 3 years and then began to realise how I missed that close loving relationship I'd had with him.
I went onto internet dating which was very scary indeed and found my now lovely husband.
Being with someone you love whether it be 30 plus years or five years like me is the best form of companionship. What nicer than to be able to lean on each other for friendship, companionship, sex and know that you have this to grow old with. When we met we were both 60 and 60+ and have found something we never ever could have expected.

Lovely to hear that juneh. Some people don't get that sort of love once let alone twice, maybe you are just a loveable person.

There have been no divorces in our known family but we seem to have had more than our fair share of marriages ending through early death.
Oddly enough it is mainly the women who have died early.
In some ways this is worrying as there will be no relatives with the Hunter name in about 50 years time as all the younger relatives are all girls / women.
We have had 1 marriage which lasted over 70 years but sadly they have now died and hopefully we will have another 70 year marriage later this year.

Frank

Funnily enough Joan, I was born in Halifax. We moved to Blackpool when I was six years old. My parents and grandparents bought a hotel there. My husband was the boy on the bike ( like the Hovis bike), who delivered the bacon and bread to the hotel. The rest is wonderful history.

I was born in Halifax too, and lived here till I was 11. We didn't move far away as my mum had a florist's business there and we had several relatives there. It's a much cleaner town than it was then , and the buildings are very attractive now they're not covered in soot!

I lived in Halifax from when we married in 1965 until retiring to the south in 2003 but I have to say I much prefer the gentler countryside and climate of the south. I enjoyed Last Tango in Halifax and recognised many of the filmed locations but it did look a bit bleak!

Hi grandimars and*Gagagran*, my Auntie and Uncle still live in Brighouse, My auntie was a former Nursing Sister at Halifax General up until the 1970's, now known as Calderdale Hospital..
I always enjoy visiting Yorkshire it brings back so many happy memories.

You are all getting closer to Mirfield, where I was born, grew up and married 46 years ago. All my siblings seem to have stayed married for decades - my older brother since 1958: they still have a happy life together, in their 70s and still doing lots of walking and cycling.

We watched Last Tango in Halifax and we had fun remembering the places - from the other side of the world.

Last of the Summer Wine was a good one too, for giving expats from West Yorkshire such homesickness.

A bit bleak! or I miss it a bit Gagagran ? There is something about Yorkshire that I think always says with us,

Where are you now * Joan *?

I'm in Queensland, Australia. We had the chance to emigrate in 1979. We liked Australia but loved Britain. But Thatcher got elected, and that tipped us into coming here. We thought our newborn son would have a better chance in life. He did well, and is in a career he loves, teaching grades 10 to 12 ( 6th form equiv). We have an Australian born son too, who is also happy and doing well.

But.....the homesickness is a pain, though I think it is the Britain of 33 years ago we miss!!

HMHNanna My mother was born in Brighouse, and my grandfather's family had lived there for several generations. My grandmother's uncle had a big bakery and shop in Commercial St but I suppose it's gone now. Although I live happily in Oxfordshire now, a bit of me still lives in Yorkshire.

HMHNanna I meant the weather looked bleak! I do not miss the Pennine winters at all!

grandimars my Dad was born in Rastrick and delivered milk from their farm all round Brighouse in the 1920s from a horse and cart. Lots of my relatives were Rastrick or Brighouse born and bred too but I am a Last of the Summer Wine girl being born in Holmbridge. We spent our married life in Hipperholme from 1965 to 2003 when we took the road south to be near our DC and DGC. No regrets though of course Yorkshire blood still runs strong in us both.

I was married for just 38 years when John died 16 months ago. Reading theses posts is very emotional- I miss the everyday contact - all the 'little' things, and life can be very lonely. I am in Portugal with very caring friends who were both widowed in their 40's, and have now been married happily for 23 years. His son is here too with his girlfriend and although I am having a wonderful time with them all, I still feel very 'alone' and apart and wish I too had a someone to share the holiday with and chat to at the end of a lovely day

(((hugs))) Gally - not much help, I'm sure, but heartfelt!