Will we be made homeless

I had a general idea that I would need to leave as it is her home, I was trying to find out what sort of time scale I would get to find alternative accomodation.

From what I know at the moment, and these things change regularly, so possibly not even Ageuk and CAB are up to date, you will not have to move out of the house when your gran goes into care.
I am saying this because my mother-in-law went into a care home last Easter. She is now in a nursing home and has dementia.
The family do not have to sell her house, but the local authority have a charge over it. It is on the market at the moment, but her care manager said there was no hurry. What will happen is that when she dies or the house is sold the LA will tell us how much they want and the rest goes to her family according to her will.
So if the LA have a charge over the house there is no reason why your family should not be able to live there. It will just be when she dies that you will owe them some money for her care, and will then be able to take out a mortgage to cover it, if you want to stay there.
Hope this reassures you and hope I am still correct. If she stays out of a care home for a couple of years, the situation might be better, because she will be allowed to keep more of the value of her house.

*Grandson123" I clearly stated in the post that you objected to that I knew nothing about the details of your situation and that I was speaking hypothetically about this situation not you in particular.

I was particular alarmed by NFKs remark, Is your gran with it enough to be persuaded to sell you her house?

That implies to me that if she has to be persuaded she does not want to and suggests coercion. Although as Mishap says it could be regarded as disposing of assets.

I suggested that if this situation was being looked at by a solicitor or other advisor it would be that the home owners interests and financial well being was paramount and not those of any other person living in the property.

Mishap has explained these complications.

It can be extremely difficult to forcibly remove an older person from their home against their will even if they are perceived to be at some risk.

Unfortunate financial abuse of the elderly by family or other carers is in my experience not uncommon.

Most elderly people want the status quo to continue and have to be persuaded of the need for change Nellie. Especially if the brain isn't working as well as it did and familiar surrounding become increasingly important.

In my father's case it wasn't persuasion but my mother's expert nagging. In her case it took a lot of reasoning, talking, back tracking - persuading - before she could accept that things could not continue the way they were and she needed care. More care than I could give.

I've obviously not got your experience Nellie but moving a person from their home is, nowadays, the very last option. Whether or not Granson buys the house it wouldn't find her a care home place much easier but would give him and his family more security. That's all I'm suggesting. Some trust has to be involved here!

Grandson hasn't persuaded her to see the doctor yet. When she does in all probability she'll have medication which will help - maybe for several years - then there's the tests to determine what care she needs, then, if they're lucky, home help. Care homes, specially dementia, are in very short supply.

Grandson - are you working? Does most of you Gran's support fall on your your wife? It must be difficult with a young baby. How old is your Gran? This could be the start of a very very long journey.

Get thee to the CAB and Age UK!

You seem to me to be a caring grandson who only wants the best for his gran but who is naturally having to think also about the future from his own point of view. I think it's great that your grandparents took you in as a child and gave you a better life. Most of the grans on this site would do something similar if the need arose. My own grandson has lived with me for the last nine years since he was 16 so I know how it can work. If I needed to sell my home I would worry about him becoming homeless.

Good luck with it all.

I live in a three generation household so I see this from a gran's point of view. My daughter and I both have our names on the deeds, can you buy a portion of the house? Get your names on the voting list, council tax, utilities, driving license as much as you can to prove this is your home. Presumably your stepchild goes to school with this house as her registered address.
If further down the line you have to prove this is also your home and you are raising children there it will be harder for council to take the house.
It is not easy all living together and you have to consider your wife and children as to what's best for them too.

Do you have a job? If you can't work because you care for your Gran you should be applying for Carers Allowance. If you are on JSA I assume you will be entitled to some benefits for your dependants? I do find it odd that a man of 26 has been living rent free since leaving school and in a perverse way this may work against you since if you had evidence of a financial stake in the home you might be seen to have some rights. Would your gran consider putting your name on the deeds as joint owner/tenants in common? Do please get some legal advice to regularise this situation. You said you had lived at your wife's-was that her own place or her parents'?
Nobody is accusing you of trying to benefit from your gran's medical condition, but if she does not have dementia she could stay at home with the right help and support. A vague informal arrangement will help nobody least of all you.

I am in the process of doing my hgv licence to get work...Like I have said I was merely 22 when my grandfather passed so since then moving out hasn't been on the agenda , as for rent my grandparents would never take money from me no matter what I tried so that was a lost cause as they were both as stubborn as anything.

As I have stated she is showing signs of an illness what the illness is I don't know but having lived with my gran since being so young I can see that she has changed in herself and dramatically since my grandfather passed as she was his carer after he had had multiple strokes. Since he passed nan has you could say been at a lose end after doing everything for him for the last 10 years, to have nobody too fuss and look after her brain has slowed.

My wife is in the process of selling her jointly owned home with her sister, but as there has been a huge breakdown in relationship the sale of that house will be a court matter and the splitting of the monies could take easily the rest of the year(it's a very complicated situation)

I was involved in a car accident when I was 17 which left me very incapacitated for a few years due to suffering a broken lower vertebra dislocated shoulder and multiple internal injuries , so I have been using compensation to live on with also a number of van driving jobs as to not be a layabout.

Gran pays the electric which we give money for and same for water , my wife pays for the council tax and I pay for phone and oil for heating, us moving in has saved everyone money especially my gran who now pays less on all the bills even though the bills have gone up they are much less when split 3 ways instead of just 2...

I would like to state I have never moved out I merely stayed at my wife's previous home 2/3 nights whilst keeping all my documents addressed to my grans.

Also to the carers allowance I cannot get because she doesn't need care at the moment just helping , my original post is merely trying to gauge a timescale for the situation for myself for future purposes.

I have spent the morning talking to my nans closest friend and our neighbour who's husband suffers from dementia and has assured me that my nan is showing signs of something irregular. It's not my imagination or as some said me hoping she may be ill.

I would also like to state one more time that I would love my gran to not be moved into a care home and I know for fact as she has said before that she wouldn't want to go to a care home, so keeping her at home is paramount to this situation.

Saying that if myself and my wife cannot give the required care when and if my gran needs it I would like to know how long if any time I would be given to sort my families situation.

If I move out own with my wife and children I fear I would not get as much time to come and see my gran, and also she would be mostly alone of an evening which she doesn't like what so ever.

I do understand grandson. There may not be a diagnosable specific cause for your Grans deterioration in functioning. Maybe she needs some sort of assessment visit from a health visitor not necessarily a doctor. You could go to GP yourself to discuss the situation. It's not rare that older people resist seeing a Dr. You have poa for welfare? Maybe with enough visiting support you'll be able to keep her at home which will suit her and ensure you keep a home yourself. Look on caring for her as a job. Or your wife could. This will also count towards her/your CV. Many transferrable skills! Its a different way of looking at your situation-an opportunity rather than a threat and a way to repay your Gran who obviously means a lot to you. Good luck!

It sounds as if you already have some proof that it is your home and you are contributing towards it, even if not paying actual rent. Try to persuade your gran to change the bills into your name - just to make it easier and above board. Until then keep all your bank statements to prove the payments come from you.

Going into care considered nowadays as the last resort - most have to fight to achieve it. However, you should get advise from CAB etc re your rights and how to get care. Also do keep trying to get her to see her doctor. Memory loss and confusion can be a symptom of other illnesses such as, I believe, bladder infection. It could be something simple and curable.

A good idea from Jane10 that you could make an appointment with the GP to discuss the situation and maybe s/he could arrange for a health visitor or community nurse to call round.

I would endorse that as an idea. GPs do have to be careful what they say as they cannot breach confidentiality, but they can listen to your concerns and suggest ways forward. It must be very distressing for you to see your much-loved nan not quite as she should be.

I have been to her doctor and discussed it with him, he then organised a 'routine check up' for her including blood tests etc and sent her a letter inviting her for the check up. When she received the letter she instantly rang the doctors to organise appointments but when it came to actually going she decided she didn't want to go, she usually uses taxis to travel because she doesn't like to rely on me , but this time I insisted I would take her and she flatly refused because in her own words 'they are useless down there'

In the initial meeting between myself and her doctor I told him everything that goes on and what her general demeanour is like and he basically said unless she does something when she isn't at home there is not much I can do until she admits herself to the doctors because she feels something is wrong and the latter, knowing my gran, is highly unlikely.

The title of your thread gives me pause for thought grandson123 I.e."will we be made homeless?"
Is this your fear then? Did you imagine living rent free until your gran obligingly popped her clogs and left you her mortgage-free house? And is this in danger of dissolving before your eyes? Had you factored in inheritance tax by the way? Whether or not you have contributed in an informal way to household expenses may cut little ice if the proceeds from the house had to cover residential care. Why are you so worried about this possibility as you say there has been no diagnosis as yet? I wonder if you are perhaps afraid that a doctor might decide she has to go into a care home and they can charge massive fees. It may be your home but as a grown man you could be expected to make your own arrangements regarding housing for yourself and your family. The additional complication regarding your wife's co-owned house with her sister is just confusing the issue. I imagine the house will have to be sold but it would make sense to find out what your legal rights are, if any and to consider your moral duty to your gran.

That seems a little harsh.

It does not seem unreasonable to me that this young man might like to prepare for the future and protect his family by making sure that they have a home. At the moment he is living with his nan (effectively his mum) but he can see that there are some problems with her health brewing and he needs to be able to plan for how he will deal with that, both for her benefit and for his own nuclear family. I do not get the feeling that he is hoping she will "obligingly pop her clogs" but that he is quite reasonably thinking things through in the light of his responsibilities.

Even if that were where he is coming from, he still needs the right information and he has had the right advice on here that is simply factual.

He is shouldering a lot of responsibilities for a man of his age and information is important so that he can make the right decisions for everyone involved.

Families come in all shapes and sizes. It seems from posts on this thread that some would expect to charge their close relatives the going rate, e g around here £450 a month for a room in a house plus a share of all other bills plus food.

We only expect our grandson to pay his way,that is enough to cover his food and hot water. We wouldn't want to make a profit out of him.

I wonder if we are unusual.

26 Petallus is older than many people with responsible jobs/own homes/independent lives! He is not a child or a teenager!! While I am not saying parents/grandparents must of necessity charge rent, it would have gone entirely against the grain for me to expect to live rent free. At 22 DH and I got married and rented our first 2 flats for 3 years until we were able to buy our own. Does the wife work? Presumably with a child at school there was nothing to stop her and it sounds as if there will be a share of the proceeds of the house, so why the preoccupation with "homelessness"?

Sorry that should also have been addressed to Mishap -
a lot of responsibilities for a man of his age was what prompted my outburst!! By 26 I was a secondary teacher, had borne 2 children, sadly lost one of them as a baby and was an adult with responsibilities of all sorts!

He is an adult and is asking the right questions in order to discharge his responsibilities. It is unusual for a man of his age to be having to worry about an elderly relative for whom he seems to be the main carer. This prompted my comment about a lot of responsibilities.

As I understand it from previous posts, it is his nan's choice that he does not pay rent. That is reasonable - I had my DD and family living here for a long while after a house fire and I did not charge them anything, but they made contributions in other ways, as it seems this young man does.

I do not think that we should assume he is a lazy freeloader without good evidence. As I say, it seems a bit harsh.

Grandson123 With regard to DLA payments that you say you are not entitled to please just check with a Benefits Advisor as there are I think 2 different levels of payment and if you GM cannot manage her own cooking/shopping/bathing she well may qualify for the reduced payment at least.Well worth a try.

Grandson do speak with the CAB and Age UK and I think you'd find useful info on the alzheimer's site www.alzheimers.org.uk/.
Would it be possible to have a discussion with your gran explaining how you are worried about her and would like her to see the doctor? If she trusts you and knows you have her welfare at heart, your concern may get through to her.
You clearly think highly of her and want to make her life easy but, by denying there is a problem, she is making life difficult for you.

Crikey. grandson123 was asking some pertinent questions in his OP, and he has received a lot of good practical information and advice in return. Somehow he has also attracted a character assassination! What is this - Mumsnet?!

My MIL has advanced Alzheimer's and she pays, via the Court of Protection (not here, in another country) for her nurses, her keep, and a portion of the household outgoings including utilities. That is what was requested by the DD who looks after her in the daughter's home and that is what was agreed (after some wrangling). So my point is, each to their own in terms of monetary arrangements and care of family members.

I do agree with your first para Grannyknot.

Times change soutra.

Not many young people nowadays would be in a position to buy a house at age 25 as you did.

Rents were much lower then and jobs easier to get and more secure.