Will we be made homeless

Can I ask Soutra did you lose your father figure at the age of 21/22 ? Did this have any affect of your life after that?

Did you have a life changing car accident at the tender age of 17 changing and limiting your job prospects for the rest of your life?

Did you have to pick up your grandfather off the floor when he fell at 2 am when you were just a teenager on more than one occasion also helping him on and off the toilet and into the shower, because your gran was too weak to do it but both too stubborn to get help? Was that the 'in' thing to do when you were growing up? Or just me?

On another note I would like to congratulate you Soutra on all your life achievements and sorrows and wish that my future life is only as accomplished as your own.

Thanks again to everyone ELSE who has given me brilliant advice and also reassurances I do truly appreciate it.

It was a 1 1/2 bed converted flat in a run down part of South London actually- at £8500 it came in at about 3x DH's salary. My point is just that in our day we did not expect to live at home once we had a job. I fully appreciate that housing costs have risen but at the same time all 3DDs shared rented flats at the outset and while they would have been welcome enough to stay on a temporary basis , once they had left home , well they had left! My point is more that grandson123 needs to put things on a regular grown up footing not just "living with nan" . Either he is her carer or he isn't and if she intends him to have her house, the sooner things are put in writing the better and frankly CAB or AGE UK or a solicitor or a housing association will give him the best advice. nelliemoser knows what she is talking about in a professional sense it seems and she was told not to comment! Made me wonder what OP wants to hear.

Golly gosh , soutra what a wise person you are .

Like most of us here I was very much full of responsibilities when I was 26 - married, a baby on the way and in a job.

My responsibilities did not also include a 10 year old stepdaughter or being sole carer for my nan. I think I might have found that pretty hard.

grandson, Getting an hgv licence is a long winded affair these days. If you are successful will you be able to find a driving job that does not take you away from home for days at a time? Who will look after your nan then?

I know some of our replies may make you feel, damned if I do and damned if I don't but I'm afraid that's what you're likely to get if you ask a lot of people for their opinions. You will have to sift through the advice and ignore the posts you don't agree with rather than challenge them.

Grandson123 You have shown yourself such an articulate young man on this thread that I am sure you will be able to explain your position to them at the Citizens' Advice Bureau.

You have used a lot of time on here which could have been spent with your wife and child, or talking to your Gran. Can I suggest that you get offline now and first thing in the morning you start asking your questions at the CAB, where you will get factual answers.

This has become a heated exchange between you and a few people who were digging more deeply into your life than you wanted them to, leading you to add more and more information about yourself. Remember that this is a public forum, where anyone at all can read what is posted.

Also anyone at all can post comments and questions which may not be entirely factual. That is why some posts are rather probing and critical. If you are on the level, you need to move on to where you can get answers. If you are not on the level . . . well I will not assume that.

my advice would be to contact Caresuk who are a national charity. They have a helpline, or you can email them for probably a quicker response.
They are experts in this field.

The original poster has not replied since the end of December, so I think we can assume that he has found a solution - perhaps the CAB was of help.

How restrained everyone was on this thread! Why did no one tell him to bugger off and get some proper legal advice?

I did me best to get that over to him , jings without risking someone telling me that I was as much as telling him to stop wasting our and his time and start taking action for himself.

I don't remember this post in December? Maybe I just missed it.

I do hope Grandson did get the help he needed and that is gran is well and still living at home. It is difficult, I am going through it with my dad who rings me and tells me the same thing day after day. He is on the list for going into an extra care facility so that he can be looked after better. He is in a council flat now though so no problem with his property. He does have neighbours who call in and care workers too and I visit as regular as possible and phone often. I need to talk with his doctor because I don't think they have told him he has dementia, he thinks he just forgets things. So I need to go with him on a visit but it is awful because I don't want to burst his bubble. Once he knows he might panic and worry and I won't be able to take that back away from him. Tables turned now as he went through it when I had open heart surgery twice as a child.