Just that really.Mum is very old and frail.I have siblings who help too and after a long time we eventually got mum to agree to a carer several mornings a week.So it's not all down to me.However anything and everything we do is met with resistance.All we have tried to do is help mum stay safe and in her own home.
We now have a rota for taking an evening meal.She wasn't eating properly and her fridge was getting in a state.Her eyesight and mobility mean she is truly housebound.
But it feels never ending and totally frustrating mainly because she really resents having any help.Won't wear her panic alarm. Refused a Covid jab initially until I really got firm point of the out it was to protect us and her carer as well as her.And I was not prepared to nurse her if she got it.Harsh but I've had enough lately. It really started several years ago when my dad got ill but she refused any help,and yet would cry when you went saying eg what a terrible night she had had with him.
And so it's gone on since he died and she's got frailer herself. One minute telling you how she's struggling with her hip,eyesight etc. Then any practical suggestions to help met with 'stop treating me like an old lady.'I know very recently it's the onset of dementia making things worse .But tbh she always was stubborn and had a bit of a martyr syndrome.
I know I won't always think of her this way.But tonight I feel my relationship with her is soured.It is my turn to go again at the weekend and tbh I just feel like saying sod it tonight.Traipsing out this evening to shop for her,especially with Covid masks etc and taking a home cooked meal to be greeted by 'why have you come.' You all think I can't look after myself' It feels so exasperating.
DH and I also keep an eye on his very elderly aunt.And she couldn't be more different.Sensible about she can and can't do now.Gets on with what she can do,asks for help if she needs it.Always pleased to see us.It is a pleasure to visit her.I find myself looking forward to my visits and chats with her,but dreading going to my own mum.
Mostly I roll with it.Tonight needs to vent somewhere so I could get unwind and get some sleep .Thanks to anyone reading.
Washerwoman Thu 04-Feb-21 23:39:20
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