Gransnet forums


Private Messaging

(91 Posts)
Learnergran Mon 04-Feb-13 10:28:24

Just a thought, up for discussion.
It strikes me that much of the recent brouhaha on GN is caused by and fuelled by private messaging. Thus the reason why so few of us know what is going on until it erupts yet again.
I myself have been greatly comforted by some private messages. But I have to say that PMing can also seem to have such destructive results.
Any thoughts?

j07 Mon 04-Feb-13 10:30:24

I practically campaigned against private messages on day one.

But it's nice when you get one from someone who is on the same wavelength as you.


Anne58 Mon 04-Feb-13 10:31:46

I think that to use it to either continue a "discussion" or to make adverse personal comments is not only rude, but perhaps an abuse of the facility?

Not sure what others may think.

Like you I have had some very supportive PM's which I have appreciated.

Ella46 Mon 04-Feb-13 10:33:07

There is a place for messaging of course, but I thought that the point of this forum is to chat/discuss online so we can all join in.

petallus Mon 04-Feb-13 10:34:42

The negative outweighs the positive probably.

glassortwo Mon 04-Feb-13 10:40:06

There is a place for PM's but not for continuing a discussion or to attack someone else after a post on the boards.

Anne58 Mon 04-Feb-13 10:41:40

That's exactly what I meant glass !

glassortwo Mon 04-Feb-13 10:47:24

On the same wave length then phoenix grin

Ariadne Mon 04-Feb-13 10:49:57

Me too.

Anne58 Mon 04-Feb-13 10:51:12

Oooh, are we a clique? (tongue in cheek emoticon)

Movedalot Mon 04-Feb-13 10:54:24

I have never had a nasty PM. N o, that is not an invitation.

I have had a lot of support when under fire and have really appreciated it.

I have also continued a discussion through PMs when what I have had to say is personal and would out me to people I don't want to find me. In every case it has been to help a poster and has not affected the thread.

Nelliemoser Mon 04-Feb-13 10:55:59

Here Here! Let's leave the pm's for messages of support or advice and information extra to a thread, as it sometimes needs to be for confidentialty.

Galen Mon 04-Feb-13 10:57:44

Of course we are!

Stansgran Mon 04-Feb-13 11:00:05

So JO6/7 is not unique there is someone else with three microwaves. This is meant in the nicest most flattering way JO. It's just I have a vision of three microwaves piled up with small child leaping up and down trying to heat up his choc milk.

Anne58 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:03:44

????? confused

Ana Mon 04-Feb-13 11:04:58

It's gone surreal again.....confused

Marelli Mon 04-Feb-13 11:06:37


glassortwo Mon 04-Feb-13 11:08:43


Anne58 Mon 04-Feb-13 11:09:51

Stans pleeeeease explain! We are all confuddled.

Marelli Mon 04-Feb-13 11:12:21

Anyway, I agree with these posts re private messaging. Like many, I have received (and I hope, given) comfort via pm's and they are similarly useful for arranging meet ups etc. However, using the facility to witter on about other posters isn't good. Difficult to stop though.

Elegran Mon 04-Feb-13 11:22:39

I have exchanged PMs with people when a meet-up was being organised, and on a few occasions to clarify things when individuals were confused about something, not to attack people or whinge. Today I have broken my own rule and fired one off to someone who I think was out of line.

I did NOT want to add it to the public thread, inspire more expostulation and make it even longer. These pointless exchanges take up more and more of the list on the "last hour" threads. It gives the impression that all we do on here is post attacks back and forward. That is not true, there are a lot of interesting and calm conversations, if you can find them among the dross.

absent Mon 04-Feb-13 11:22:52

I think it was Kali who recently posted something along the lines of we do not talk about other members behind their backs in bold while castigating me for a post on a public thread. If only that were true. Unkind, spiteful private messages caused a great deal more harm and hurt recently than anything said on a public forum. That is why I have urged anyone receiving them in the future to report them to GNHQ.

Ariadne Mon 04-Feb-13 11:24:38

absent I think you are right;if a pm is abusive then it should be reported!

gracesmum Mon 04-Feb-13 11:32:06

But let's not try to legislate against free communication between members, what people say to each other in private is their own business.

Movedalot Mon 04-Feb-13 11:32:52

Yes, I have heard that someone has been making false accusations about me and others in PMs but I have chosen to ignore it as I heard it secondhand. It smacks of silly school children.