Withany's bridge

Hi, RESULT
Meeting went well with solicitor, she is now happy to deal with him directly via email and air mail letters. I now have all my options given to me and hopefully I have chosen the right one.
Monday evening I had a long email from DH which he had ccd to our sons, saying my emails had been threatening, abusive and slanderous. He then listed things like I had threatened to ring girlfriends daughter, in response I said I didn't threaten, I asked if he could be reached by phone at their home, because that's where he said he would be over the holiday period, and it was to talk to him about our DS cancer results. How was I to know he was cohabiting with girlfriend?
Anyway I answered every complaint he had, but the best bit was he said he was not prepared to give up his life's endeavours.

I took great pleasure in pointing out that time and time again I had asked him if she was worth giving everything up for, his family, his home, me, and our life together and everything he had created. His response at the time had been, yes he was happy to have nothing and no one and would start again if that's how things went. So I told him Well he now had a chance to do just that

Told DH that solicitor was dealing with everything now, and that I was filing the assault charge.

His response was Since I am going to give him a police record, for something I started myself, he was severing communication with me, we were done. Good Bye
Sorry I really couldn't help myself, I responded with I thought we were done anyway, goodbye
Waiting for police to ring me back, have got to walk the dogs.
Thank you for your support, my bridge is almost complete, I'm certainly coming down the other side now.
Locks are being changed, have got the legal approval I wanted.
Lots more agro to come I expect, and I will still need all you GNs to keep me strong.

Well done Withany You seem to have it all under control at the moment.
I hope it stays that way , but if/when it all gets heated, I wish you all the strength and calmness that you may need.

Life is too short to put up with a man like him.

Assault charges? Have I missed something?

We should think of a theme tune.

I hope that you are keeping copies of all correspondence, especially emails if he is accusing you of threatening to ring this female.

Yes, I missed the assault charge as well Dragonfly

dragon , my thoughts too, this seems new to me !
heyho !

Jings. Glad it's not just me, though.

You are telling us that it is finished yet you are still communicating on a personal level, e-mailing and telephoning. I hope you can find the strength to sever the connection.

My sister got divorced many years ago and my daughter has more recently. The main difference between the two situations has been the relative ease of communication between parties these days. It is far too easy to send off texts or emails without giving them very, very careful consideration and things can be said which may come back to haunt in the future.

I would strongly agree with harrigran that you should now sever all connections with SB. It won't be easy for you but it will surely irritate him . If he says things that are untrue print them off, put them in a file for your solicitor and then 'sit on your hands'

Excellent news Withany, it sounds as if he's getting the message too. [strength] emoticon

Harrigran I totally agree I have been worried all along by the need for personal communication Every letter email or phone call will give him power not only to realise you need to contact him but also as you've found out to twist facts round

Please do sever all communication Whithany

Hi, communication severed, now Solicitor willing to deal with financial agreement. DH wanted to negotiate a financial settlement whilst with the girl friend, I presume so that she could add her bit, and see what he is likely to be getting.
I understand that if financial matters are already agreed Divorce would go through quicker.
I am much happier for him to deal with solicitor, she is not emotionally involved and will not be swayed by his charms.

The GNs that are wondering about the assault, it happened the night before he left, the one any only time in our entire history. At the time it happened I was in total shock and did not want to press charges, in fact I didn't think about calling the police at all. However, all this time on, I am still in considerable pain, my GP and solicitor have urged me to file the complaint, so I have.

A police woman is coming to talk to me and take my statement this afternoon. Once that is done, I think I just have to sit back and wait for the fireworks.I am sure there will be a lot of them, so get ready to take cover.

Hi Withany , don"t know if you may be able to read this , wondering how things are for you ?

It's getting quite exciting now!

Sorry!

Dear Withany something horrible has happened to you and you are hurt angry frustrated and more.

You still ahve choices though!!

Your choices the way I see it is

A.. you can stay angry, frustrated and the rest, and let all those feelings add to the initial insult of what your OH did

OR

B..Hard as it may be and it will be hard..you can rise above it all!

From your posts I am getting that you are a survivor and not a victim, I love what you say aboy crying an bridges, its brilliant and very powerful!!

Look to the future and a time when you will have gotten over this---and you will, you will get over it.

You go girl, best wishes you

PS Its ok to cry, that's for you, and it releases the pain x

And with every day that goes by it will get easier

PSS If he struck you then he deserves a police record!!! a step too far to raise your hands to anyone!!!!

Jings!

Well it's 10 weeks since Withany reported her DH had jettted off to the USA (2/12/13) so that makes it 70 days - getting close to coming home deadline, Withany! How have things progressed in the meantime? Has he been in touch?
I imagine you have been busy sorting out your lown life - where to live and so on. How's it going?

I'd be interested to know what is happening now, Withany. You have not been in contact for a while.

I don't like it when people disappear..... I've been wondering about Withany. Eliza too...

Where is this bridge? Not in Somerset, I hope.