If you feel bullied

Well said Charleygirl

Sometimes though, someone feels bullied because they mis-read something that has been written. That is the problem of the internet, no facial expression and no picking up that someone has mis-understood. I once made a comment about 'someone's wonderful (member of family who had been mentioned in previous post) and it was misread as a sarcastic and nasty comment- when it was absolutely and sincerely a real compliment. It caused untold upset, and it took me months to realise what had happened.

Eleothan I can't help but feel your definition of bullying is a little bit simplistic. The kind of bullying you quote is just one example of it. There are many other kinds.

I think on the whole Gransnet is a much nicer place than it once was.

It's best to stay if you can. You do get toughened up. It's a learning curve!

I think we also develop our own ways of reading between the lines. If I make a comment in a hurry because the thread is moving along quickly and I don't want it to appear about five posts below the person I'm replying to, it can provoke a rather bossy 'Where's your evidence, where's your proof?' reply. What that can often mean is, 'You're in my sights and I'm just waiting for the right moment to shoot you down!!

I don't bother replying if I'm digging my own grave.

I'm quite good at digging my own grave!! I say stuff then think - oh help where next didn't want to go down that road

Lizg I think it is the first time I have ever seen anyone apologise so sincerely as you have. I didn't see your post or the one you replied to but I am so pleased to see that you have the maturity and courage to come out and be so generous. Yes, I know others have apologised at times but I really feel yours is sincere.

Before anyone opens the floodgates, I don't have time to read all posts all the time, just saying it as I see it.

I am completely baffled by those who assert there has never been any bullying on Gransnet! Also about some of the definitions of bullying. I wish all those who have left because of it would come back and say so. I find it very hard to believe that some can't see the more subtle forms.

Thank you Nonnie

Hello, it's margaretm74 here.

I have come back to say I was dismayed by some of the reactions to my OP.
Some of you have missed the point yet again. I am not a 'victim' nor do I need help to handle 'bullying'. As someone earlier said, you don't always have to fight back, sometimes the right thing to do is to walk away.
I can handle the hectoring and repeated requests for sources and information (although I am retired and wondered why I set myself up for that - like having a demanding boss!). I know better now - Lessons Have Been Learned.

What upset me was the insinuation of homophobia and having that following me around on GN. There are people of whom I am very fond and one in particular whom I love who are gay ( although I would think he would sooner stick pins in his eyes than go on a Gay Pride March).
I am not against a G.P. march either but still cannot fathom why EA funds were used for it. I doubt that anyone standing waist deep in water in their home would understand it either - does that make them homophobic?

But some may disagree and that is fair enough. Disagreement is natural, but nasty insinuations, even if subtle, are unpleasant.
And labels can stick, even untrue ones.

Thankyou for those who supported me, you know who you are.
And for those who didn't agree with my OP and debated sensibly, thankyou for a lively discussion.
And as for the others who felt outraged by the mere suggestion that I should question how taxpayers' money is spent, I picked a wrong example.

Ps. Parks are in the remit of the local Council. Ours does a fantastic job.

Au revoir
Margaretm74

Welcome back!!!

It's the 'same old, same old' Nonnie, that is, if you say you're being bullied, it's your imagination or you're delusional. Or there's the 'I've never seen any bullying on GN' argument, even though people leave because they feel intimidated or are made to feel small or stupid. Then there's the 'you'll just have to toughen up argument' which of course then negates the first two points!

It's all been trotted out before, and doubtless will be again next time.

Agree totally about Liz's lovely post.

I do hope that you mean 'au revoke' and not goodbye Fieaintheear

Au revoir! Not au revoke! My iPad trying to rule my fingers yet again!

jinglefrocks If my definition of bullying is a little simplistic, what is yours?

Accusing someone unjustly, for example, of bigotry, is more than rude. Especially when it goes on and on and is picked up by others who run with it.

Liz, have messaged you

Flea love the new name. Very clever!

Eleothan I don't have a definition of it. Sorry.

I personally have no burning desire to be "toughened up". I do not enter into arguments, I retire gracefully to soops kitchen. I have been left in the past to feel intimidated and stupid and I am not having a repeat performance. I personally do not want to leave, I will just "do my own thing".

Wecome back fleaintheear.

flea (are you sure about that name?! )

Charleygirl

glad you have returned flea Your new name reminds me of a character in Penguin Cafe, a ballet which is loads of fun.

(but I know it's more complicated in this day and age than you make it seem)

That was an add on to my reply to Eleothan

Charleygirlyour version of Gransnet sounds riveting.