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respectful parenting

(82 Posts)
Tiggersuki Fri 16-Jun-17 16:39:37

Anybody have children practising respectful parenting with your grandchild? I am not allowed to pick up my grandson, am not trusted to look after him or be alone with him in case I am insufficiently respectful. He is two and a half now and I have never been allowed to babysit or have him to myself.I might give him an unsolicited hug!

Margs Mon 19-Jun-17 14:49:06

So, what about when they finally get out into the world of employment and come up against a boss who makes it clear that he/she is the one who pays them to do as they're told and as such THEY are the ones who demand respect?

And these Princes and Princesses are damn well expected to give it?

Jalima1108 Mon 19-Jun-17 15:27:15

I've been thinking about this and I can understand 'respectful parenting' in a way:
listening to your children and having conversations with them, finding out what they think and feel in a chatty rather than a probing way, that way they may well learn to confide in you when they are older. How do babies learn to talk if not having a two-way conversation with an adult?
Not shouting at them which some parents seem to do constantly.
Not walking at your speed so that a toddler has to run to keep up (unless you are in a rush, of course).
Making sure, as paddyann says in her post of 10:33:59, that they are not forced to hug and kiss people they are not sure about although I am sure they could be asked to peck a wrinkly old granny or great-aunt on the cheek.

Guiding them on the right path to becoming responsible adults does involve learning respect for other people and that involves the child having respect for a parent and learning that the parent may have more wisdom than a child too.

However, letting a child take total charge is not the right way and if this is respectful parenting then they have chosen the wrong name for it.

If you are not allowed to be alone with your DGC or even to pick him up Tiggersuki I would suggest that this shows a lack of respect from your DD for you!

Lisalou I read your DD's list when I was eating my breakfast and had a good laugh about it grin

Jalima1108 Mon 19-Jun-17 15:28:55

and there is a difference between forcing a child to eat something they dislike and putting one small spoonful on their plate and suggesting they try it before deciding they don't like it because they don't like the look of it.

However, do not do that to me with tripe or tapioca.

TriciaF Mon 19-Jun-17 19:31:01

Ok but the basic mistake (in my view anyway) is that many parents think of their children as mini-adults, with the same thought processes, powers of reasoning etc as their own. So they expect their child to give a logical reply.
I remember listening to my firstborn talking to himself when he'd woken up from his rest, he must have been just under 2.
He was saying all the things he liked to eat. eg
"Ice creams hehe, chocolate, hehe, biccies hehe," etc. That was his conversational level.

Jalima1108 Mon 19-Jun-17 23:27:13

that sounds like me when I'm trying to lose weight ..... only I say 'no no'

But they do chat about things that interest them and obviously icecream, chocolate, biccies are very interesting

Kisathecat Sun 25-Jun-17 09:05:55

I actually think the reason that people are attracted to these sort of parenting ideas is because they know how the methods of the postwar years made them feel....