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When are you grown up?

(74 Posts)
Jane10 Tue 20-Aug-19 13:23:29

I was at an interesting event today at the Royal Society of Edinburgh. It was a 'conversation' on the topic of being grown up. We discussed round the table whether or not we were grown up and, if we were, when did we decide that we had.
I was the oldest there by a large margin. I had always felt grown up. Obviously a young fogey. I'm the right age at last!
Do other Grans feel grown up? Are there Peter Pans among us?

Bridgeit Tue 20-Aug-19 13:34:14

Well I feel positively ancient!
But I do indulge in some Peter Pan moments, I believe the child in us is always lurking beneath the weight of adulthood.
I Put on some old favourite music & dance around with a duster in hand, great until I get out of breath but well worth the effort 😄

Anniebach Tue 20-Aug-19 13:38:16

I don’t think we lose ‘the child within’

Pantglas1 Tue 20-Aug-19 13:40:22

Initially I thought it was when I got married and had a mortgage but on reflection it was later, when I became a mother. Not sure you have the luxury of of being childlike once that happens.

Bathsheba Tue 20-Aug-19 13:47:01

When people stopped calling me a chatterbox and started calling me a gasbag grin

Callistemon Tue 20-Aug-19 14:19:05

Pantglas I think you can - until your children say Muuum! in a very shocked tone of voice.


Beechnut Tue 20-Aug-19 14:24:29

For me it was when my dad died. I was no longer anyone’s child.

M0nica Tue 20-Aug-19 14:47:31

When I went up to university, I had money in the bank from my grant and summer earnings, going to a strange place a long way from friends and families and I knew that hence forth my life was my responsibility, nobody elses, for good or ill.

Pantglas1 Tue 20-Aug-19 17:13:21

Yes, all who followed, each one is another reminder that we have to be big girls when sometimes we just want to go back and have someone take care of us. My dad is still alive and I haven’t felt he did that since my mother died and he totally went to pieces. However I do know that while he’s here, he’ll always be there with tea and sympathy!

Day6 Tue 20-Aug-19 17:19:23

Inside I feel exactly the same way as I did in my late 20s, when I became less shy and was able to deal confidently with 'adult' things. I felt like a fraudulent grown-up when I left home.

The child is still within though and I do feel very young at heart and have a sense of the ridiculous. I felt properly grown up when I became a mother I think, mainly because I had a responsibility to my vulnerable, needy and precious baby. No putting self first any longer. (That was hard! grin)

Scentia Tue 20-Aug-19 17:20:23

I still have the ability to act like a spoiled child if needs be. It is how I get what I want from my DH!!! I still like to play games and have fun, I still like to do scary things so I think I am probably still in need of a little growing up in my life. My DD is glad I act like a child sometimes as she too is a little childish sometimes and enjoys a mate to join her. I think I have the ability to be grown up if needs be but if I can get someone else to do that grown up stuff and thinking I will😂

Atqui Tue 20-Aug-19 17:23:06

Although I feel “young at heart” , I lost both parents before I was 40 and that was when I truly felt I was a “grown up”

Jane10 Tue 20-Aug-19 17:47:09

I don't so much have an inner child as an inner brat. I sometimes can't resist the urge to wind people up.
And I still think farting is funny!!

sodapop Tue 20-Aug-19 17:51:57

Callistemon mine say " oh mother" when I step beyond the pale.

Scribbles Tue 20-Aug-19 18:20:38

A friend of mine said, many years ago, that she knew she'd grown up when she no longer got out of the bath to answer the phone smile.

I'm 68 going on 17 and have no desire ever to grow up.

Nannarose Tue 20-Aug-19 18:24:01

Oh, Beechnut, that struck such a chord for me! At my grandad's funeral, my dad said to me 'suppose I have to grow up now'. He was 75, but I was only 60 when I had to grow up' !!!

Beechnut Tue 20-Aug-19 18:43:30

Nannarose my dad died just after I had my first ever birthday party aged 45.

PamelaJ1 Tue 20-Aug-19 19:06:03

I’ll do it tomorrow.😂

Callistemon Tue 20-Aug-19 19:53:09

sodapop grin
We're going to visit soon so I must try hard not to be a bad influence on DGS [bluah]

Callistemon Tue 20-Aug-19 19:54:03

Can't type either!

jura2 Tue 20-Aug-19 19:55:01

nah - over rated ;)

WOODMOUSE49 Tue 20-Aug-19 21:24:37

Difficult to say. I feel old (69)
Grown up? Could be any of these:

My first paid job - 16.
Getting married - 19
Getting a degree - 35
Leaving my husband - 40
First house / rent - 40
Loosing my dad - 53

Grown up sounds like I have to be sensible all the time and behave in a responsible way.
That's not me.
Perhaps it's better to say I act grown up when needs be.
Thankfully, that's not too often these days smile

Hetty58 Tue 20-Aug-19 21:31:31

I still can't decide what I want to be when I grow up!

Minniemoo Tue 20-Aug-19 21:32:52

When you 'have a fall' instead of 'falling over'.

Tangerine Tue 20-Aug-19 23:43:31

When you start full-time work perhaps.

I fully appreciate that this is not completely the answer. Plenty of other lifestyles mean you have to be adult.