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Don’t want to be offended ... but I am!

(134 Posts)
NanNanCake Mon 06-Apr-20 18:12:55

Ok I know my neighbour was being kind, ok I know when you’re in your 30s being in your (very early !!)50s is old - And I don’t want to be offended by them putting a note through my door that if I needed help walking my dog or with food shopping during the corona virus they were here and willing to help - but hey I am !
Am I officially old ?? Sorry I know I should be more generous just wasn’t ready to think of myself as needing that sort of help yet

dragonfly46 Mon 06-Apr-20 22:33:54

My neighbour offered to cut the grass on Sunday. I was very touched!

GabriellaG54 Mon 06-Apr-20 22:48:27

When I was a 16yr old, the women at work used to talk about what they were going to cook for dinner, their husbands and various boring domestic subjects. They were mostly 23/4/5 up to early 30s.
I thought they were really really old and I was determined never to be like them.
I and my friends referred to them as the 'old ladies'.
Naturally, my head and those of my friends were full of dreams about payday purchases, goss about lads, clubs and spending as much time as possible in the cloakroom titivating in case the heart-throb mechanic came into our office. Of course, he must have been aware but ignored us and carried on doing his job.
Marion Robinson used to warn us when he was on his way and a rush for the cloakroom would ensue. He had a Welsh sounding name but I've forgotten it 😂...*NO*, just remembered, it was Glyn Jones. Wow! 60 years and I can still recall his name. 😁

Callistemon Mon 06-Apr-20 23:17:10

I think I may know him

merlotgran Mon 06-Apr-20 23:17:35

Our WI and Parish Council have joined forces to deliver prescriptions to vulnerable people. That will be a huge help to us as I daren't go myself and put DH at risk.

Three weeks ago I ordered some boxes of Quality Street to leave outside as a Thank You and Happy Easter cards. Thankfully they have arrived!

Our lovely post lady and local Hermes delivery person have been a lifeline as well.

Sometimes you can't thank them enough.

maddyone Mon 06-Apr-20 23:43:27

We’ve had offers of help from three of our neighbours, but as our children are getting our shopping for us, we thanked them and said we’d probably be okay with our children getting shopping but we’d let them know if we do need anything. We’re not even over seventy, both 67, but I’m touched that people have offered.

Callistemon Mon 06-Apr-20 23:50:11

I think many of our WI are older than me!

BlueBelle Tue 07-Apr-20 05:57:24

I don’t think it’s anything to do with age how do you know that they didn’t put a note in all their neighbours doors , silly to get upset over offered help
I m ok because I have a daughter five minutes away but none of my neighbours young or old have offered anything although they must all know I live alone
So I think you should rejoice you have nice thoughtful neighbours

PamelaJ1 Tue 07-Apr-20 06:12:05

I would be so happy to have such caring neighbours.
You never know when you may need help, no matter what your age.
Who knows , one of the good things that could come out of this horrible mess is concern for others. To be encouraged.

NfkDumpling Tue 07-Apr-20 07:18:03

I think Grammaretto is right. We're not used to being the vulnerable ones. It certainly seems strange to having the DC doing shopping for us, our not being able to help with DGC, them Facetiming us to check we're ok!

Officially, unlike the OP, we are in the vulnerable group and completely confined to the house. Age has nothing to do with that, it's our health. It does seem very strange!

BlueSky Tue 07-Apr-20 08:17:44

We are all getting on in our street, those in their 60s being the 'youngsters'. Us in our 70s checking on our very independent 94 year old next door neighbour. But no nobody has asked us I guess we are all in the same boat either because of actual age or conditions.

sodapop Tue 07-Apr-20 08:31:13

I agree Pamela it was a kind thought. We are just not used to being seen as vulnerable after our working lives and bringing up families etc.

Iam64 Tue 07-Apr-20 09:13:13

What a lucky person you are, to have such kind and thoughtful neighbours.

BladeAnnie Tue 07-Apr-20 09:21:42

My daughter (26 with a 7 month old baby,) has had notes put through her door saying if she needs help with anything just to shout. Both sets of neighbours are in their sixties. I think it's just a case of people looking out for each other which is really nice

Northernandproud Tue 07-Apr-20 10:49:42

Perhaps they want an excuse to get out the house

Dillyduck Tue 07-Apr-20 10:50:09

Get over yourself! Be greateful that you are healthy.
Be glad that you have such kind neighbours (and use it as a way of getting to know them better, one day you might be glad of their help!)
By my late 50's I'd had 8 operations, I have invisible disabilities and as a result have to be self isolating as much as possible. My eldest son lives with me, so we are fine.

Lxrl Tue 07-Apr-20 10:53:18

I'm quite young and my neighbours have offered to help us out as we are completely isolating, no walks or shop trips for us, I don't think this has anything to do with your age

jaylucy Tue 07-Apr-20 10:54:00

Why assume it's down to your age? There are more reasons that we may be self isolating besides age and I think it is very kind of your neighbours to even bother putting a note through your door!
How about you suggest a get together via Facebook or other social media to help each other out with things such as the weekly shop? We all tend to shop at the same supermarket and at the moment you can't always get the items that you want or need so maybe if your neighbours shop at a different one, they will be able to get it for you and you can do the same in return?

hugaby Tue 07-Apr-20 10:54:29

I believe this is a 'community' action and these leaflets are put though most/all doors. I think it is a brilliant idea, we none of us necessarily know what each household is suffering and it's great to have a contact should it be needed - as an example if you are living on your own and you have to isolate because you have mild symptoms of Covid-19, if it were me, I would be grateful to know I had someone to call if I needed anything

trisher Tue 07-Apr-20 10:56:25

I had a note through my door at the beginning. I think everyone down the street did, some very kind young people offering help, their mobile nos and a facebook group. It's just people rallying round.

Shelagh6 Tue 07-Apr-20 10:56:38

I am amazed anyone can be offended by anybody offering help - obviously you never think of offering to help anyone yourself. Extraordinary mindset whatever situation exists in the country.

inishowen Tue 07-Apr-20 10:59:12

I remember being on a London bus when I was 50, a young woman offered me her seat. I was gobsmacked. I also remember moving into this house when husband and I were 49. A younger neighbour asked if we had grandchildren. I said huffily that my children were still at school. That same neighbour is now in her fifties and I'm tempted to ask if she has grandchildren. Now I'm 67 and nobody has offered to help us but we dont need it.

Buffy Tue 07-Apr-20 11:00:44

I do know what you mean NanNan but think yourself lucky that they bothered. No-one has offered us any help and we really are ancient !

Hetty58 Tue 07-Apr-20 11:01:00

NanNanCake, it's lovely that help is offered, don't you think? Would you rather be neglected and ignored when you might just need a hand?

razzmatazz Tue 07-Apr-20 11:02:23

Why on earth would you be offended ? I don't get it. Everybody is helping everybody in any way they can at this difficult time . Nothing to do with being old. I am amazed at this response. It's called community spirit.

Aepgirl Tue 07-Apr-20 11:02:58

So, NanNanCake you are complaining because somebody has offered you help. I can’t see your problem as all you have to say is ‘thank you for thinking of me. At the moment I’m OK but I will let you know if I need anything’. Don’t forget that this virus takes no notice of any age.