Gransnet forums


Stop trying to change things you can't. Peace of Mind

(57 Posts)
Notright Wed 03-Jun-20 11:29:20

I have a brief look at the forums most mornings and to be honest I'm stopping. Why? Doesn't anyone have anything better to say than moan, moan, moan.
Has no-one got anything positive, happy or cheerful going on in their lives. There must be something funny next doors children did, rather than something naughty they did. Or what reading has cheered you up lately; or what book do you recommend to take the reader away from all this.
Please, feeling sorry for yourself only leads to misery. Spoil yourself - watch TV all day instead of worrying about cleaning the bathroom, accompanied by a couple of glasses of wine. Play cards with your husband or partner. If you've got older grandchildren get them to organise a weekly meet-up with the family on Zoom. I promise you that is fun. Look out of the window on our sunny days at the beautiful blue blue sky that will once again disappear once planes start flying and cars fill the road. Listen to the birds.
We can't change things so enjoy what you can do please. Keep Safe everyone.

grannylyn65 Wed 03-Jun-20 11:35:58

Recovered alcoholic , no wine

Parky Wed 03-Jun-20 11:44:04

Great idea, but sometimes hard to be cheerful. We are lucky living on a small island with no new cases.

On the whole I'm happy with my lot, plenty of fresh air and sunshine. Just adopted a 7 year old cat, couldn't meet her because of lockdown, she was listed as shy and nervous
, but has been a total loving friendly cat. Cheering us up no end. In spite of today being wet and windy!

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jun-20 11:47:54

I think there has been more positivity of late in the forums than there has been for ages.
We must be really moany, ordinarily. smile

merlotgran Wed 03-Jun-20 11:48:20

Why two threads, Notright?

goldengirl Wed 03-Jun-20 11:52:09

Whilst I miss the grandchildren we do keep in contact a lot with the older ones and it's great fun to catch up on their day. I've enjoyed sitting out and reading in the sunshine and have joined a WhatsApp group in our road so we can contact each other as and when. I've also become involved once again voluntary work - online - which is keeping my brain active.

The downsides have been my HAIR which is driving me nuts and the stiffness from lack of Pilates even though I exercise at home. And I'm sick of cooking - not my favourite occupation.

It did take me a while to get used to the lockdown but I do feel more relaxed now than I did initially in spite of the fact we had to call in a plumber for a flooded loo! It's a mindset really, isn't it? We can't change anything so let's go with the flow and explore new avenues.

Rufus2 Wed 03-Jun-20 12:03:38

We can't change things so enjoy what you can do please
Welcome Notright That's a nice bright start! smile
You've been watching too many"Good Morning XXX Day" threads!
Try the "Good Evening XXX Day" for a change and see the difference. hmm All contributors have ridden themselves of early morning blues!
"Find out what you can't do well, then don't do it!" grin
"If don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude!"
I've always liked those sayings! So profound! grin
Stay with it!
Good health

dragonfly46 Wed 03-Jun-20 12:13:41

You are wrong Rufus the Good Morning thread is anything but negative. Obviously some people have problems and air them but that is not the rule.

And yes Notright why two threads? Even your name is negative!

sodapop Wed 03-Jun-20 12:16:43

Don't tell me how to feel Notright if I want to be miserable and moany I will.

sodapop Wed 03-Jun-20 12:18:04

Sorry posted too soon. I really don't need to be patronised thank you.

Galaxy Wed 03-Jun-20 12:26:28

Also nobody feels happy all the time, if they say they do they are lying. Being happy, being angry, being sad, being scared are all normal human emotions, there is nothing wrong with those emotions.

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jun-20 12:40:08

I'm suspicious of relentlessly cheerful people.

Anniebach Wed 03-Jun-20 12:45:11

I am happy I have to sleep on a sofa because I can’t physically
change my bed linen, happy because i don’t have a husband or
partner, happy because there are no children living next door
or even 10 doors away, happy because the physiotherapist can’t visit me with aids for my arthritis, happy because my carpets haven’t been vacuumed for 12 weeks.

Lucca Wed 03-Jun-20 12:52:42

That’s awful for you Anniebach and annoying to have people telling you to count your blessings be happy blah blah. Soda pop with you all the way, no need to be patronised!
I also disagree entirely with OP saying it’s all negative on GN I think there is a wide range of threads, posts , opinions and personalities.

BlueBelle Wed 03-Jun-20 12:57:26

sodapop I too found notright s post a bit condescending You really can’t tell people how to feel or act, only tell yourself, your post is the equivalent of telling an unhappy person to buck themselves up I m sure we all look at the world though a true myriad of feelings
There have been many many positive and sometimes funny posts and threads on here so may I politely suggest you pick out the positive post to read and keep away from any sad ones
Not everyone can feel like Pollyanna all the time

SynchroSwimmer Wed 03-Jun-20 13:03:23

Thank you, yes.

Having thought how brilliant that the Queen is riding a horse at that wonderful age, and how lovely life is and then seeing it on another thread (and then seeing the negative comment about “class” - just felt the joy and lifeblood seeping out of me)

Currently listening to blackbirds, robins, swallows and mistle thrushes all singing so joyfully on my roof and I have to keep going out just to gaze in wonder at them all.

Furret Wed 03-Jun-20 13:04:04

Bossy or what? Cheer up chaps. Hands to the deck. We’re all in this together. The f**k we are - that’s Boris-talk.

ginny Wed 03-Jun-20 13:34:16

OP moaning about people moaning.

Anniebach Wed 03-Jun-20 13:41:31

Watching tv all day would bring on depression

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jun-20 13:42:02

There's a lot to be said for having a good moan.

travelsafar Wed 03-Jun-20 13:46:58

I live with someone who moans about everything!!! When i say stop it, he says i am not moaning just saying. I have told him to change the tone of his voice then as it sounds like moaning to me. Some people just have that about them. No matter what they say it comes out wrong, moreso
if everything they say has a negative content!!!

MissAdventure Wed 03-Jun-20 13:49:42

That's just as annoying as someone who wants to wax lyrical about birdsong and nature, as if nobody else ever noticed. grin

PinkCakes Wed 03-Jun-20 13:50:10

I think a lot of us moan about the weather - it's too hot/wet/cold/windy - it's a British thing, I think. I'm fed up of hearing some women telling me how they're desperate to have their hair/nails done.

I'm fortunate to not have any ailments, I'm lucky to have a close family and no real problems, I know, but there are enough miserable things going on in the world without moaning about trivial things.

Kate1949 Wed 03-Jun-20 13:54:04

Oh how I agree "Pinkcakes*. Hair and nails. As an alopecia sufferer who can't get my hair system maintained in lockdown, oh to have some hair to moan about.

PinkCakes Wed 03-Jun-20 13:55:45

Kate1949 Bless you, I'm sorry to hear that. Mine is a state - but so what?