Uncalled for comments

I suppose it all depends upon what a poster is looking for when they start a thread, whether it's a debate, a chat, advice or support and a friendly ear. Those who respond may not always appreciate what it is that the OP is looking for and that can lead to a mismatch of expectations.

Well that opened a can of worms didn’t it. I apologise if I offended anyone, I wasn’t looking to be ‘goody’, ‘patronising’ or indeed ‘halo polishing’. I’ll step back now and keep my mouth firmly closed in future.

Actually Chewbacca I don't know what ?means. Truthfully.

I'm not sure if you were agreeing with me or flipping me off?

If in doubt I always find keeping one’s mouth firmly closed is good in many situations. Not just on GN btw.

Sarahmob

Well that opened a can of worms didn’t it. I apologise if I offended anyone, I wasn’t looking to be ‘goody’, ‘patronising’ or indeed ‘halo polishing’. I’ll step back now and keep my mouth firmly closed in future.

How is that a can of worms ? People are expressing their opinions!

Illte! It definitely means that I was agreeing with you! It was meant to be a finger pointing up towards your post!

How is that a can of worms ? People are expressing their opinions!

Which perfectly illustrates my comment @ 13.51 which said that sometimes it's difficult to establish exactly what it is that the OP is looking for when they start a thread!

Oh right. In that case I will have a little glow of satisfaction and not ? because you have disagreed with me?

There are threads sometimes though where the title should include “only for those who agree “.

merlotgran Agree, I have to accept GNs decisions. In my ideal world there would be only constructive criticism/feedback.

I am most definitely not saying don't reply to comments you question or disagree with.

I appreciate constructive feedback myself. It gives me food for thought but there are people who often forget the impact their negative words have and ridicule is negative.

However Sarah, I agree people should avoid being nasty but a.)Disagreeing is not Necessarily nasty. And b.) The place to respond is immediately on that thread . Obviously that’s just my view.

I agree Woodmouse and in my experience there are some who are only too aware of the negative impact their posts have, which is why they make them.

To be fair Illte on closer inspection, it did look like I was flipping you off!

Actually Woodmouse some of the most constructive comments I've ever received have been the hardest to hear.

Once at work I was trying to be diplomatic and supportive and someone said "Oh for goodness sake just say what you think. You just try to agree with everyone. What use is that!"

She was right.

Chewbacca ?

Sarahmob

Well that opened a can of worms didn’t it. I apologise if I offended anyone, I wasn’t looking to be ‘goody’, ‘patronising’ or indeed ‘halo polishing’. I’ll step back now and keep my mouth firmly closed in future.

What did you think would happen though? That we would all say ‘Oh! We never thought of that! Let’s all be kind, as we’ve been a bunch of meanies up to now’?

I honestly don’t see much by way of deliberate sniping on here. Sometimes a poster will touch a nerve with another one who will react, and on the political threads there are fairly predictable differences of opinion, but in the whole people are supportive.

Rosalyn If in doubt I always find keeping one’s mouth firmly closed is good in many situations. Not just on GN btw
Your post made me think of the famous quote
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt,"
variously attributed to both Abraham Lincoln and Mark Twain.

Sarahmob

Well that opened a can of worms didn’t it. I apologise if I offended anyone, I wasn’t looking to be ‘goody’, ‘patronising’ or indeed ‘halo polishing’. I’ll step back now and keep my mouth firmly closed in future.

Don’t do that Sarahmob, your opinions are important and I happen to agree with you. Not because I’m halo polishing or because I think I’m a really nice person but because I think, as is often quoted on here at various times, ‘if you can be anything, be kind’. And that doesn’t mean always agreeing with people or hiding ones true opinions, but just what it says.

Difficult isn’t it? .

Two very different points of view ie ‘better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt’ as opposed to ‘the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing’.

These posts Always get me anxious! I start reviewing any comments I have made on any thread in case I appeared unkind ??‍♀️

I hate be kind, everyone has a completely different idea of what be kind means. It also often means shut up. I am not referring to op in this instance I just think be kind is a fairly pointless phrase.

I agree with Sarahmob. We all have our own opinions which we can express, after all it’s a free country, but some responders are not particularly diplomatic and their comments can come across as quite rude. Not necessarily rude enough to report, but certain comments come across as very hurtful.

Lucca

There are threads sometimes though where the title should include “only for those who agree “.

I think that's been tried.

Needless to say, it didn't work!

Whoops. I said you were superkind Galaxy on the Archers thread, going to the trouble of relating events for me . I know what “kind” is......kind of.......?

That’s another good one Furret, but I don’t think the two quotes are necessarily in opposition.

If you wanted, or needed, to oppose evil, it might be counter-productive to open your mouth and say something that was groundless or stupid.