Sending a Hug to the Keyboard Warriors

Notinthemanual I don’t pretend to know that you have thoughts that you are not expressing. Patronising people doesn’t need to be intentional. Your thoughts of kindness are no doubt well-intentioned. I’ll tell you why I feel it was patronising.

You suggest at the end of the 3rd paragraph that there may be some Grans on here because they can’t get on with people in real life. You recommend more liquids and vegetables to help them form their character (Was that a joke? I can’t tell.) Then in a later post you referred to me in the third person, as if I was a six year old child in need of instruction. Then finished with the passive aggressive reference to “not having to name people”. Maybe you didn’t mean to be patronising, but all these things can be considered that way.

It does strike me as a bit superior as well because the “sending the love” thing is just a wee bit overblown. Just ignore them, you have no responsibility to try to save anyone.

My thoughts alone, if anyone wants to disagree I’m fine with that because I’ve got my big girl pants on.

That was quite a week for unpleasantness. I’ve wondered why some Grans are that way. Do they feel unheard IRL and vent their frustration here?
Have I missed something. I know I've been a bit occupied this week and maybe haven't paid proper attention. Please could somebody point me in the right direction for the nastiness although I have an awful feeling that it will all have been deleted before I get there
Sometimes a little agro on GN makes me feel things aren't going totally to shit and there is still something to fight for. My fluid and vegetable intake is fine by the way and I've just proved it.
As for hugs well that's up to you, just now they're not allowed and I usually avoid them anyway. It's only very close friends and family who are allowed. Anyone else I regard as having ulterior motives (which I'm sure the OP hasn't of course, being such a nice person.)

Chewbacca

Those of us who have not been intentionally unkind, harsh or unthinking, will not be unduly bothered by this thread, or in discussing the subject matter. Those who are uncomfortable with it might take a moment to reflect.

Well said Chewbacca but don't hold your breath about any reflections, it doesn't happen I'm afraid.

25Avalon

If people didn’t leave. If instead every time someone posted something nasty we said “oh you poor thing. You must be having a bad day. Have a big hug” would that not defeat their object?

I like this idea. I hope I’m not one of the cruel people, it’s not always easy to express oneself in text rather than face to face. Mood isn’t easy to communicate.

It has, hasn’t it Lucca !

I thought the extent of our common ground would end with Clipper organic tea!

Apologies if I am wrong and it wasn’t you though! ?

I'm sending hugs. I'm not going name you all because I'm going to go and have a cup of tea and a biscuit.

Thank you to the Grans who were supportive and to those who disagreed without name calling. Hugs to you too.

The interesting thing I've discovered about approaching negativity with compassion, if not love, is it makes me feel better.

Before you start, I don't mean better than you.

I mean it creates a buffer. Before I tried that approach I'd have probably been quite hurt by some of this thread.

Are you having a bad day suziewoozie?

(Don’t shout at me, I’m joking. Though if you are having a bad day I hope it gets better).

I think be kind is one of the worst pieces of advice ever to take hold. Everyone has a different idea of be kind.

Lexisgranny

As a floating voter I do object to being categorised politically based on my opinion on this thread,

You are not ! I was noticing that ok just for example JE and I are sworn political adversaries but have agreed on here
That’s my point ...

I do wish there was a finger down throat emoji on here.

And as for mean undercurrent naming no names thing....I’m pretty sure I’ve had an implied mention .
Anyway off into the fog and damp for a walk.

Why does anyone need a hug from you op?
Who are you?
The Dalai Lama?
Please stop this nonsense.

.....

And again.. Kandinsky I choked at the Dali lama thing. ?

Well said Chewbacca.

When I see a poster being deliberately upset whenever someone wades in with snide comments, I’m afraid I can’t simply walk on by and ignore, blatant nastiness.

gfery - goadyfuckery. It’s MN speak.

Blossoming

Are you having a bad day suziewoozie?

(Don’t shout at me, I’m joking. Though if you are having a bad day I hope it gets better).

I’ll take your post as kind then. ? My day is fine btw other than passive aggressive gfery threads like this. The worst of GN but it’s heartening to see many posts not exactly endorsing a thread which imo was set up to cause discord.

Notinthemanual

I'm sending hugs. I'm not going name you all because I'm going to go and have a cup of tea and a biscuit.

Thank you to the Grans who were supportive and to those who disagreed without name calling. Hugs to you too.

The interesting thing I've discovered about approaching negativity with compassion, if not love, is it makes me feel better.

Before you start, I don't mean better than you.

I mean it creates a buffer. Before I tried that approach I'd have probably been quite hurt by some of this thread.

Disingenuity is not something I admire - at all, ever.

Spinnaker

Chewbacca

Those of us who have not been intentionally unkind, harsh or unthinking, will not be unduly bothered by this thread, or in discussing the subject matter. Those who are uncomfortable with it might take a moment to reflect.

Well said Chewbacca but don't hold your breath about any reflections, it doesn't happen I'm afraid.

And again - oh to be perfect - perhaps instead some of you should see yourselves as others see you.

As perhaps could you suziewoozie.
A large part of the problem is that some read posts to really listen to what is being said and others read to respond with their own agenda.
Just like in real life

Reading this thread and I’m thinking “ have I fallen down a rabbit hole???????” ?

GrannyLaine

As perhaps could you suziewoozie.
A large part of the problem is that some read posts to really listen to what is being said and others read to respond with their own agenda.
Just like in real life

Oh dear - again, well done OP

The interesting thing I've discovered is that there are posters I wildly disagree with but respect because they have firmly held views (even if they are wrong), posters I share some common ground with but disagree on other things, posters who think and believe like me, and posters who, quite frankly, I find a pain in the ass.

Well, all I know is GN has been this way since my baptism of fire!
But I understood some of the reasons behind it, and gave as good as I got.

Since then I've tried to treat each post or poster on the merits of said post.

But it seem to me some of the difficulties lie in dragging past problems into new discussions.

It's quite a common thing and happens all over internet forums so I'm told.

trisher you missed off your list posters in your opinion are
‘Embittered old crones ‘.

Anniebach

trisher you missed off your list posters in your opinion are
‘Embittered old crones ‘.

And your point is?