So upset! (Ambulance and elderly neighbours)

Thanks for replies. Should have realised before asking the PMs that it was a confidentiality issue. They weren’t to know that dh and I are first port of call for help with all sorts.

I wasn’t really upset for myself, but in case neighbour thought I must have seen the ambulance and wasn’t bothered. I’ve told her that another time I will just knock on the door anyway. She doesn’t like asking for help anyway, is always apologetic despite assurances that we’re happy to do it, but it’s become increasingly necessary as they’ve become more frail.

A few years ago I had a friend in hospital whom I visited. I arrived one day to see her and was told by staff that she had been transferred. “Ok .... I said, where to?”. They wouldn’t tell me ... confidentiality! I couldn’t find where she was and was she having any visitors I wondered.
All was revealed when she was discharged home.

I don’t think you need to be very upset the NHS in all it’s forms have very strict codes of confidentiality and those guys could have lost their jobs by telling you
I don’t understand if you went out to speak to them you didn’t pop next door after they d gone to see if everything was ok !
But you know now so just carry on being a good neighbour

Surely, you could have just stood there and watched which house they went to, that's what my neighbours do if they see an ambulance near our houses, then if they're seen coming into my house, they stay outside and ask me if I'm OK as I'm being wheeled past into the ambulance.

It would be both confidentiality and to protect the patient. You said you were friends, but they only have your word for that. It's a sad fact that they have to err on the side of caution, but it is true.

I was with a friend at her house when an ambulance was needed and they still asked the patient if she was OK with me being there and going to the hospital with her as although I was her carer and she was mine, we weren't next of kin and we didn't live at the same address. They took my details and listed me, with my friends consent, as her carer.

Keep being a good neighbour and friend. As others have said, see if you can have the sons telephone number so you have a contact should one be needed.

don't feel bad.
they were doing their job, and you were trying to be helpful.
if it happens again, just ring your neighbours and say,
i was worried when i saw an ambulance outside. how's things.

Absolutely it is confidentiality. They cannot share anything. They don't know you. Their priority is the health and the privacy of their patient

Quite likely they had another call to answer and, as others have stated, confidentiality.

Why wouldn’t the paramedics tell me?

Perhaps they were busy sorting out what needed to be sorted and found it unhelpful to have someone not involved asking questions.

Just a confidential issue.

Jaffacake2

Sadly the paramedics may have come across people who prey on the elderly when they are ill so would not give out any information to you.
I helped an older lady who was having a fit on the floor of marks and Spencer's and someone in the middle of the drama stole her handbag.
Worked in frontline NHS for 40 years and have seen the good and bad in people.
Keep being a good neighbour.

Unfortunately, there is always someone hovering, ready to steal at these incidents. They often offer to hold a coat, a handbag or shopping, then just tiptoe away when everyone is busy.
I usually put my foot on the handbag to safeguard it.

Confidentiality - how do the paramedics know who you are and that you really are a good friend.........

Would have thought that during these Covid times the ambulance people would have given it a bit more thought. They needn’t have gone into detail but could have directed the OP to the wife, instead of basically telling her a lie - and leaving a vulnerable lady on her own after taking her husband to hospital.

i can reassure you it was only because they were not allowed to tell you who it was as this would be a breach of your neighbours confidentially it is standard practice now a days

My mother lives in an assisted living home. The manager has the same problem, she always asks but they always say no
She could have vital information which would be useful
She has given up trying to be helpful and other residents have suffered including my mother.

Patient confidentiality, that's all.
I bet they often have had nosy parkers ask for information about their patient, so they just have a blanket "no" answer.

Paramedics wont tell anyone. I was carted off in an ambulance and theybtold me a neighbour had been asking but that they dont say anything.

You are a good neighbour dont worry.If you wish to help the wife whilst her hubby is in hospital, just knock & ask if she needs anything.But yes good advice to get their sons number, just in case of anything again, also you do say he visits regularly, so maybe next time he visits you could pop over & introduce yourself (if he doesn't already know you?) & maybe get his number then?or give him yours& ask if he would let you know if they need help another time? And 'a good half hour away' is next to nothing in a car really, is it? Maybe he will visit even more often after this perhaps.

Why wouldn’t the paramedics tell me?

It is a confidentiality issue.

We’re always being told to look after our elderly neighbours, so you must feel very hurt that the paramedics brushed you off like this. However, I don’t know if that is to do with confidentiality or just that they needed to get on with their job.

Clearly the wife needs even more support now, so I’m sure you can help there.

It can shake people up seeing ambulances at neighbours houses. I think I would have had to knock the door a wee bit later on though just to check all is ok.
Maybe a conversation about what they would need from you if the situation were to arise again.

You thought you were doing the right thing but the ambulance service have to be very aware of a persons privacy and confidentiality is so important now. Please don't be upset. Just continue to do what you can for your elderly neighbours. So many elderly have no one to look out for them. You are not wrong yo be caring.

Sadly the paramedics may have come across people who prey on the elderly when they are ill so would not give out any information to you.
I helped an older lady who was having a fit on the floor of marks and Spencer's and someone in the middle of the drama stole her handbag.
Worked in frontline NHS for 40 years and have seen the good and bad in people.
Keep being a good neighbour.

Perhaps you could have knocked a little later, after the ambulance had gone,and asked her if everything was OK. And did she need anything.

You sound a very nice neighbour don't worry.