The Argy Conglomerate

Can we give Sir Tom one, brook?

Maybe a Whopper?

Yes of course jet, let’s get doodle to surprise him ..

Oooh Sir Tom. Just you and me alone in the garden at last.
What do you mean you need a rest ? May Hem wore you out.
Here stuff this pizza down you for some energy. I’m not giving up that easily.

Funny, that.
Sir Mick kept it up for much longer without tiring❤

Maybe he needs a Glamorgan sausage?

I’m the one that needs a sausage ?

I’m off to find Biccy McVitie. There won’t be much left of Sir Tom when doodle and ixion have had a turn. Better the devil you know.

I have dug out the white stilettos and black fishnet tights, figure hugging mini (are they still fashionable?) and treated myself to a faux feather boa to fling over my shoulders just in case there's a draught.
I blame that Doodle. Plus, of course, someone responsible like moi, needs to keep a beady eye on Maw's frolicsome ways.
Am I correct in hoping that you have Burly Bob the Bouncer on the door? His biceps are something to behold. Not that I'd know. I'm an innocent when it comes to such observations.

Will someone please photograph soop in all that gear? Otherwise we will be forced to disbelieve in the feather boa.

Soop will fit in well in the Argy with all that gear. We are all classy dressers.
Sorry Doodle that Tom was so tired. It was that May Hem. What he sees in a curvaceous, nubile 22 year old who is ...erm very accommodating I've no idea.

Oh my, soop! ( curtsies deep and low ).
The stuff of legends. We are honoured indeed.

Doodle has told us lots about you in the early days. Your outfits remain unchanged are legendary.

Me 'n' jet are relative newbies tho' we are doing our best to aspire to such exacting standards.

You must come for a tour one day - it's not all drinking, y'know.
We have Tea Rooms on the roof terrace, a Wellness Spa where Tanya and Sherree from Pampered Pooches can do your feet and hands and Shaun from the Spray Shop can give you a good going-over any colour you fancy (depending on how freely his nozzle is functioning on the day)
We have Life Classes with rather gorgeous nudies, and a hot tub, which is proving popular with our less inhibited clients.
And if Mr.S is playing away from home, we can offer 24 hour surveillance with our crack (?) AB12 team.
See you soon.
Bring MawBe for a Welcome Night?

ixion don't mention crack. Not after the freezer incident. We don't want anyone to think we are that sort of place.

ixion I'm known for my classy dressing. Only the best is good enough whenever I strut my stuff. Such a pity that my lycra leotard has lost it's cling been devoured by moths in spite of being stored alongside a bucket full of moth balls. Otherwise, I might have made an entrance that would leave you gasping with something or other.

Maw...a quiet word...behave!

Hi soop. You look quite stunning. Well, Thor looks stunned anyway!
(Psst! ixion I think we have some competition here. I’m off to dig out my hotpants and white plastic knee length boots.)
I’m sure there is enough left of your leotard, soop to cover your credentials adequately.
Have a pint of poteen and a bar snack to be getting with.

Thor is busy with me making poteen for the extra guests.
granjet where did you get those thigh length boots?

I think they are lemon's and the whip.

Oh soop I’m so pleased you’ve popped in. I keep telling the new girls that you a legend here but I think they thought I’d made it up. Now they have seen you in the flesh (that is a magnificent outfit by the way......what there is of it) at last they may believe me.
The new girls are a frisky bunch and I’m afraid Burly Bob couldn’t keep up with their demands but we do have Thor and Theo who I’m sure would meet your exacting standards.
Sorry anno no photos allowed. What happens in the Argy stays in the Argy but you are welcome to stay and join us in a pint.
AGA drinks on the house I think.

You will like Fronc, soop.
Very classy number, in touch with our feminine side. He waits on for our Tea Rooms ladies. Again, a welcome change from the more, er, earthy pursuits of the Bar.
We have loan pashminas for the Roof Terrace guests. Can I offer you one for the moth eaten lacy leotard? Must be chilly?

grandmajet

Can we give Sir Tom one, brook?

You already gave him one, in the cellar! Have you forgotten?

My boots have been stolen! Nobody leave the room!

I only took them off so that Thor could massage my feet, looked round and they had gone, I expect AGA has sold them by now.

ixion I take my pashmina everywhere with me, so have no need of a ‘loan’ thanks.It’s useful for covering up my spare tyre. Rich Reggie bought it for me in the Maldives and it’s cashmere, I treasure it just as I do my diamonds and furs....for sentimental reasons only.

Pssst jet stand behind Gnasher. I’ll cover for you ?
Boots lemon, no I don’t think I’ve seen your boots. Are you sure you were wearing them when you arrived?
Anyone seem lemon’s boots? ?

Sir Tom wrote his phone number on my foot, but Thor has massaged and blurred it, so I shall never be able to contact him again, sob.Still, I have the memories to console me.

Luckily I have my silver stilettos in my handbag, so I won’t have to drive home barefoot.Will Gnasher go and stand guard over the Porsche for me?