Annoyed with dinner guest

Very rude of them.

I had the opposite experience years ago
Had invited 2 couples round for supper and one arrived a bit late all dressed up in dinner suit and posh frock.

We enjoyed a lovely meal and it was only at the end of the night my friends confessed they’d forgotten they were due to come to us for a meal and had eaten out earlier. However they decided to make a big effort and get dressed up to come to us snd even though they felt “stuffed” were determined not to spoil the night.
Everyone had a good laugh and it’s certainly one evening we’ve never forgotten

How annoying, don’t invite her again ! So thoughtless.All that time and effort…… some friend she is !

I’m on your side. That is just plain rude and it shows no regard for the time, effort and expense you put in to your meal. I love hosting dinner parties and I go to a lot of trouble because I enjoy it so much.

I would simply never invite them again. Those who don’t ‘get it’ I stay friends with, but we meet in the pub because life’s too short to fill it with people who are unthinking and careless with your feelings.

We had friends over for dinner, and before they’d even stepped over the threshold said “I hope you’ve not done anything with chilli in it”. Luckily I hadn’t but surely if you’ve got allergies or hate something you would say in advance.

Scones. DH won’t eat peas at home but if eating at friends happily gets them down. He also loathes pears but during lockdown friends invited us to a socially distanced meal. The desert was perfectly presented poached pears with chocolate sauce - he ate it. I was actually quite proud of him but it’s so rude to be picky when people have gone to so much trouble

How about this! We were invited to dinner by friends
for them to have set only two places for dinner. They dished it up and we sat down to eat. I said,
'Are you not joining us?
'No' Came the reply'
' We have already eaten.'
Then they promptly sat at the table and watched us eat.

H1954

Very rude and I certainly wouldn't ask them again. Ok, so the dinner guest called in on family on the way to the dinner party but why could they not say to the GC 'no, I can't eat with you as much as I would like to because I'm going out for dinner but I will come another day if that's ok'. Why do people pussyfoot around children?
OP went to a great deal of trouble and has my sympathy. A few years ago OH and I invited a couple of friends for dinner. I did three courses plus wine, beer, coffee and some expensive single malt too. They invited us over to their place a few weeks later........when we got to their house and knocked on the door they both came out with their coats on and said we were to get back in the car as were all going to the local pub....never bothered inviting them again and the wine, flowers and chocolates we had in the car boot for the hosts went home with us.

Not sure what’s wrong with this. If they can’t cook or don’t want the bother, a meal out seems a great idea.

I have experienced something similar. I prepared a lunch for friends whom we see once a year. Just habit that maintains the "friendship". They made it quite clear they didn't enjoy what I had prepared and pushed certain foods to one side of the plate saying they didn't eat that etc. They are traditionlists and don't like anything out of the ordinary. When I have the obligatory annual meet-up we take them to a restaurant.

My sister in law would do that every time they came for lunch (christmas, easter etc) oh sorry we aren’t hungry we had a big breakfast yet when it was our turn to go to their house there was hell to pay if everyone did not eat every bite…..needless to say we stopped having get togethers

I live on my own, and enjoy cooking for others. When I have friends who come over for a meal or stay over, I cook from scratch, buy a lot of fresh ingredients, and usually cook a Mediterranean style meal. They are both vegetarians. One old friend has never invited me back for a meal, let alone to stay. Another has served up leftovers. Now, if they come to stay over I provide breakfast, but we go out for the other meals or order a takeaway. If we meet for the day we eat out.

My dinner story slightly different!
A group of us used to do an 'at home' dinner, each being host in turn.
One evening turned up at our friends' house, having already cinfirmed whose home would be next - only to find they had forgotten all about it!! The startled look on their faces when they opened the door was a joy!! Luckily we were all such good friends we could laugh about it after the pulling together of what was available in the fridge and freezer, together with a few bottles of vino, no-one remembered or cared!!

Let's just say years ago we invited a couple to dinner. It emerged, after spitting out the first mouthful, they a meal 2 hours beforehand. Now luckily I'm divorced and no longer have to endure the sheer ignorance and bad manners of any of my ex in-laws. I made sure they never sat down at my table again

Scones

It's very rude.

I feel your pain Beswitched. I've stopped cooking for people now. I've never enjoyed it, never been any good at it and it's blooming hard work. Everyone I know seems so picky about food - on a diet, only eating carbs or some such, no cheese, no cucumber, on a diet, no dairy, no mushrooms, no peas - PEAS I ask you!!

It seems we're all meant to love 'entertaining' or even worse 'hosting' now...but it's a chore for me. Hasten to add I turn down invitations to eat at other's houses too. If I eat with friends we eat out.

I'm one of those who are repulsed by Peas. I know, I know, everyone tells me how incongruous they are etc etc but it harps back to my childhood when my mum, eager to get me to eat my veg, hid peas under the mashed potato. I then unwittingly scooped up a fork full and ate them! To this day, some 50 years later, I can recall the event as if it were yesterday. Yuck. The thought of peas on my plate literally makes me retch.

Ladyleftfieldlover, in answer to your question, I’m a lifelong vegetarian and always cook meat for others, whether family or friends. We’re not all that precious.

I had exactly the same experience! How we managed to eat another three courses having had our supper only an hour before I’ll never know!!!!

Sorry… my reply related to the post about not knowing we were going to friends to ‘eat’ so we ate out full meal before we went and then had to plough through three more courses !! I’ve never forgotten it!!!

Very rude and thoughtless. Peoole can be so horrible!

How horribly rude. When people say what should they bring, the answer is your appetite please. Eating out is not an option, my cooking is good, too good for most eating out, although there are some delicious places. It is good manners to bring, wine, chocolates or flowers for the hostess. Sorry for your invitees abysmal manners.

Do people still have dinner parties? Inevitably we go out to eat with friends these days.

Our daughter never seems to cook anything and whenever we visit them , then we eat out. However, when she comes here and I suggest going to the village pub for a meal, the. She says “ oh but it’s so much nicer to eat here” not a reflection on the pub food as it’s known throughout the area to be excellent.
This weekend she’s with us and it’s tough... I’ve booked it for lunch! I know some people love cooking but I’m definitely not one of them

I wonder when people do this whether they just don't fancy what the host has cooked and feel it's more polite to invent a reason why they are not hungry than to say "that looks disgusting"

I once had the reverse experience. Many years ago when I was in my early twenties, my ex husband's boss invited us round for the evening so, assuming it meant dinner, we didn't eat beforehand. When we arrived we were offered drinks and a few little bowls of what I thought were appetizers were bought out. I politely nibbled at some but, when offered more, I said 'no thank you it will spoil my appetite' ! The hostess said nothing but gave me a strange look and no further food was forthcoming. Obviously we had only been invited for drinks (probably my ex had got it wrong, typical of him)! We were so relieved when, about 9.30, they started saying things like, 'well it was lovely to see you', which we realised was our excuse to leave. The fish and chips we bought on the way home had never tasted so good.

Quite agree with everyone else - It’s very rude indeed and shows no consideration or respect for you as friends-

I agree it is not right to turn up when they have already eaten. However, no one seems to have pointed out I would have been more concerned inviting people into my house at the moment when they have been to see grandchildren when covid is still rife in schools - I wouldn't want to risk it.

True, LesLee7. NObody has been in our house for a meal since March 2020. Just a couple of toilet stops after doorstep chats, though I have eaten with my son and family.

Very bad form. Your guests needs to be educated