How to get visitors to leave?

I find standing up and not adding to the conversation any more usually gives people a good hint. A friend of ours will fetch people’s coats down.

Lizzie44

An aunt of mine was renowned for her hospitality and also for her way of drawing an evening to a close. She used to stand up and say "Well, that's been a lovely evening, hasn't it?" At the same time she would be moving slowly towards the door with her arms slightly out in a gesture of herding.

This is another ploy l have.

Zoejory

I've heard going upstairs and returning with your pyjamas on is a good way.

My OH’s boss used to put his dressing gown on then say “Goodnight. Please switch the lights off when you leave”.

Some very amusing posts - I love this one...

The matter was resolved when one of the sons of the house, a young man in his late teens like my mother, announced:

"You're sitting on the chair I put my clothes on when I go to bed."

That's a corker !

But seriously; I don't know quite what the protocol is for an evening visit - or any other time of day visit come to that, but my intuition tells me that if someone asks me round for coffee / drink / chat, after a couple of hours max, it would be time to make a move. Any longer and I would feel that I was outstaying my welcome.

However, as others have noted, some people are a bit thick-skinned, or just don't want to leave the warm glow of your hospitality (which is maybe rather sad) so I think with such people you just have to be politely honest and tell them that you have things to do / or are tired and need to go to bed, depending on the time of the visit.

My pet peeve is people who drop in unannounced - not those that come for 10 minutes, but those that are 'dropping by' and intend to stay for a couple of hours. I just sit seething and annoyed with myself that I didn't have the guts to say something like "now is not a good time". Like many, I suspect, I plan my day and as the sole carer of a disabled partner with whom I run a small consultancy agency, it's usually a pretty busy day and I just don't have hours to spare. Unless it's an emergency.

A friend's dad had dementia and when he'd had enough of visitors he would make his hand into a gun shape and say " bang, bang you're dead!" Visitors left very quickly.

Go and get hot water bottles and say "I'll get the kettle on to get these warmed up now it's time for bed".

Our cat used to get restless if it got late because she knew when put to bed in the kitchen she would get a treat . A good excuse to wind things up .

My pet peeve is people who drop in unannounced

I solved that by telling visitors about the other people who had dropped by unannounced, as in

"So-and-so dropped by yesterday. It was so lovely to see her and find out all the news but I do wish she would call before she comes over - I had planned to do this or that and won't be able to do it tell next week now. Some people don't realise that not everyone has lots of time on their hands"

so everyone got to know I needed them to call because I had lots to do and I never had to have a go at anyone. There were a few people who always thought it applied to everyone but themselves and needed something a bit more graphic but in general it worked. And no one ever knew the people I was talking about.

I wish I had visitors nowadays.

A work colleagues son was invited to dinner at Chequers when Tony Blair was Prime Minister.They were told beforehand that as soon as Tony stood up, it was their signal to leave. Worked every time!

My Dh used to work in the building trade so was up at 5.45 in the week and left for work just after 6 usually having to get a train into London. He never got home till 7 or later if the
trains were not in time.
Most of our family knew this so they would come on a Saturday evening to see us.

When I invite people I always ask them early , say 7, but make a point of saying “ let’s have an early start and finish , say carriages at 10.”
Works like a charm!

Most visitors we have never go, its so irritating, one thing which does make them move is our lamps are on timers, not very early ones, but a reminder when they have been here for hours and the lights turn off, they say " oh is it that time", after about five or six hours. I would love to say yes it is but am too polite to say anything.

My mother always kept a hat beside the front door. Before opening it, she would put it on. If she was happy to see the visitors, she would say, " how lovely to see you- I've just come in!". If not wishing to have them in, she would say "Oh, I'm frightfully sorry, I'm just going out".
Worked every time.

I knew a chap who just came down in his pyjamas when he’d had enough which sent us off with a smile!

I'm another who would say, "it has been really lovely to see you, but I'm really sorry - I have a couple of things I must do before going to bed. Can I get your coats for you?"

You could come downstairs wearing blue stripey nightshirt, one of those hats with the floppy point hanging down, and holding an old fashioned candle holder thingy (what are they called?)

Wee Willie Winkie: are the bairns all in bed - it's past 8 o'clock

That's the one!

Or, you could sellotape your upper eyelids to your forehead in a noticeable way.

Ask your OH (if you have one) to go and turn on the electric blanket.

Go upstairs, put a Barry White song on, and then come down dressed in a corset and french knickers to tell your husband to please hurry up...

If anyone puts Barry White on I'd be leaving the house before the visitors

Not a fan, I take it?

No, fingers in ears!

We used to have a dog that dropped hints for us! When she felt that visitors should go she would stare at them pointedly. On more than one occasion visitors said, “oh, I think your dog is telling us to go!” She was. It worked a treat. She has been gone many years, bless her, but thinking back still makes me smile.