How to get visitors to leave?

My dog is a creature of routine. By 9pm he is standing in front of me, quietly growling. Most people take the hint and leave.

On a morning or afternoon visit I just say I have an appointment at dentist, solicitor doctors etc in an hour. That works well without anyone feeling embarrassed
Evening I would look at the clock and say oh I didn't realise it was so late must go to bed soon. Lovely to see you and chat. Call in again soon. Usually that's around midnight as I'm a late night person anyway

My BIL tends to overstay his welcome - I just say to his wife '"please take * home now as I'm really tired" - during the pandemic I've got a lot bolder at being honest about how I feel in a situation - I'm not rude but if people choose to take offence that it their choice - I get REALLY difficult when I'm tired so it's to everyone's advantage that visits are kept to a reasonable length (1.5 to 2 hrs max) and I don't tip over the edge.

I say I'm going to unload the dishwasher and go,it only backfired once when a friend offered to come and help me.
DH usually gets his B to go by holding up a bottle and saying the pots empty. Our mothers did the same with the teapot.
My gran would have said," Haven't you a home to go to?"

@ MerylStreep, absolutely - why be anything else other than sincere and truthful? However I did once read in a magazine that the owner of her dod was trained at a hand signal to go and get the owners sleep wear and return to the room with the PJ’s in the dogs mouth! Love it ?

I used to have someone like that to, tried everything from sitting yawning to sitting on edge of seat to nipping putting my dressing gown on to eeh is that the time time for bed lol in the end only thing that worked was actually saying to them sorry it’s kicking out time. As they say give someone an inch they will take a mile.

This used to happen to a work colleague of mine whose husband had left her. We would have her over for dinner ("come for 7pm" and she would turn up at 6pm) and she would still be there talking constantly at midnight. We tried everything - hints about an early start the morning; making cocoa ("we always have this just before bed"); hubby even went upstairs once and put his pyjamas and dressing gown on - nothing worked, she just didn't want to go home to an empty house. In the end we had to stand up, start turning the lights out, except the one by the front door - and she would still keep talking as she walked out ... We just stopped asking her round eventually. I think the key is to stop being polite; stop engaging in their conversation; put away the alcohol (if that's an issue); and work together as a couple - it's no good if one of you is clear and the other negates it by rushing it to do "the polite thing". Agree a strategy and stick to it no matter what (easier said than done I know!)

ask them to leave politely

I offer visitors a coffee, seems to work , they usually take the hint they have had a meal with us .

My Gran once said to a visitor "Shall I make the sofa up for you if you're staying all night?" He left.

I usually say "Well this has been very nice, but I'm not a night owl so I'm away to my bed now. I'll get your coat." while moving towards the door. It usually works.

My Mum used to clear away the glasses and cups etc. and not offer replenishments.

Start nodding off, and say you’re tired so time for bed

I notice that one of my friends keeps me on her doorstep .
But if I invite her in for tea if she calls she really outstays her welcome .
It's a difficult situation she often does some shopping and or collects meds for my father .
She sometimes likes to visit him .
He's tires very quickly and often wants to sit on his commode . He finds her irritating after a while .

Eventually I have to say ,sorry but Dad wants his commode .

My late folks had a really good family friend they loved to see, but she did tend to stay late into the evening. My Mum used to go and put on her nightie, but if that didn't work, my dad would head off and change into his pyjamas. They loved her dearly, and the change into night attire was all just taken as a big joke which they all laughed about....and she went off in her own time!

We have the lamps in our lounge on timers and once the lights start going out, people usually take the hint.

If only I'd known all these sure fire tips . Unfortunately, it's never happened to us before so we weren't prepared. I tried avoiding eye contact and just not speaking. Didn't matter he just droned on. DH ignored our guest's empty glass (after three refills) but our guest just pointed out that his glass was empty again! In retrospect, there were key times but we missed them. He just talked on and on and kept going down the hall and lingered outside the front door. Never again!

Mum has Alzheimer’s, don’t think she even knows who we are half the time, but the one funny thing she does is convey that she’s had enough by moving to the past tense. She’ll just suddenly announce “well, it’s been lovely seeing you, thank you, I’ve had a lovely day”. Makes us laugh every time but it works, we leave her to it then!

My neighbour says "well, piss off then!"
Just in case I may be lingering too long.

An aunt of mine was renowned for her hospitality and also for her way of drawing an evening to a close. She used to stand up and say "Well, that's been a lovely evening, hasn't it?" At the same time she would be moving slowly towards the door with her arms slightly out in a gesture of herding.

Go and put your pyjamas on!

Grab them by the scruff of the neck and put them out with the cat.

My late father actually went out of the room and came back in his blue striped pyjamas.

My ex used to invite all sorts of people round (admittedly it was his house)
Then he would slope off to bed and I'd be left with them.

MissAdventure

My neighbour says "well, piss off then!"
Just in case I may be lingering too long.

Love that!

This is no help to you whatsoever…
About 25 years ago my eldest (of 3) children had just done his first year in YR 7. Summer holidays arrived and on the Friday he wanted a friend to come over for the Evening, Mum would pick up later at the agreed time of 9pm.
Long story short he stayed 6 weeks with us until just before the schools went back. I didn’t mind really as he was no trouble and his Mum would pop down every Saturday to drop off a bag of goodies from Sainsburys!

"Well this has been nice chatting, we're just the opposite we're early risers, be safe going home, it's our bedtime now" stand up with a smile and ask if they need help getting up and politely escort them to the door....oh yes make sure to yawn many times before you say it.