Silly Songs

Now I've not heard that one for so long, I'd forgotten it.

One fine morning in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords
And shot each other.

Taught to us by our beloved Uncle Barry.

Spring is sprung, the grass is ris.
I wonder where the birdies is?

MissAdventure

Billy was a sheepdog, sitting on the grass, along came a bumble bee and stung him up the........ ask no questions, tell no lies... (Can't remember any more)

I had two Belgian rabbits, one was a Belgian buck
I put them on the mantelpiece to see if they would...
Farmer went to market to buy two dozen eggs
Twenty two in a basket and two between his...
Lucy in the garden lying on the grass
Down game a bumble bee and stung her on her...
Ask no questions, tell no lies
I saw a Chinaman fastening up his...
Flies are a nuisance, bugs are worse
This is the end of my dirty little verse!

What a grubby lot we are.

MissAdventure

Spring is sprung, the grass is ris.
I wonder where the birdies is?

Spring is sprung, the grass is ris,
I wonder where them birdies is,
Them little birds is on the wing,
Ain't that absurd?
Them little wings is on the bird!

Yammy - my Grandad used to sing that one to me.
I think it ended "Marching to the Shanty War".

My friend Billy, had a 10ft willy, and he showed it to the woman next door.

She thought it was a snake, so she hit it with a rake.

And now it's only 5ft 4.

The rest of the meatball one.
It rolled off the table and on to the floor and them my poor meatball rolled out of the door. It rolled through the garden then under a Bush and then my poor meatball was nothing but mush.

Shinamae

MissAdventure

Billy was a sheepdog, sitting on the grass, along came a bumble bee and stung him up the........ ask no questions, tell no lies... (Can't remember any more)

Ever seen a policeman doing up his flies, flies are nuisance bugs are worse this is the end of my little verse ?

Yours is the version I knew.

MaggsMcG

The rest of the meatball one.
It rolled off the table and on to the floor and them my poor meatball rolled out of the door. It rolled through the garden then under a Bush and then my poor meatball was nothing but mush.

We sang that in Guides.

‘‘Twas in the month of Liverpool
In the city of July
The rain was pouring heavily
And the streets were very dry.

The elephant is a bonny bird
It flits from bough to bough
It makes its nest in the rhubarb tree
And whistles like a cow

Elleks
A bit like this one -
All of a sudden a big black pudden
Came flying through the door.
It missed me Ma
And hit me Pa
And landed on the chair.

Another one from girl guides;

There are turtles, turtles wearing ladies girdles at the store, at the store,
repeat then add : at the Quartermaster's store.

My eyes are dim, I cannot see, I have not brought my specs with me..

There are ants, ants, wearing ladies pants at the store, at the store...

Each person goes around the circle adding a silly verse.

Not last night but the night before
Three little Tom cats came knocking at our door
One had a fiddle
One had a drum
And the other had a cymbal stuck to his bum

Another verse to the 'nobody loves me, everybody hates me' rhyme
The long thin slimy ones
Slip down easily
The short fat furry ones stick
When the short fat furry ones
Stick in your teeth
That's when's the juice goes "Schliiick" (making a Hannibal Lecter noise)

we used to song it on the school bus and annoy the driver, poor man.

Listen,listen the cats pissin. Hasten,hasten bring a basin
No,no bring a po.
My brother, when he was a little boy, was at a party where the children were all invited to say a recitation. My poor mother was horrified when this was what he came out with. She often mentioned it.

Tarzan in the jungle, got a belly ache.
Wanna go to toilet PFFFRRAAART! too late!

Eat a Biscuit, Eat a Cake, Eat your Knickers by Mistake.

Twas an evening in November,
As I very well remember,
I was strolling down the street in drunken pride,
But my knees were all a-flutter,
So I landed in the gutter,
And a pig came up and lay down by my side.

Yes, I lay there in the gutter,
Thinking thoughts I could not utter,
When a colleen passing by did softly say:
"Ye can tell a man that boozes
By the company he chooses.'
At that the pig got up and walked away!

She stood upon the burning deck, her lips were all a-quiver.

She gave a cough, her leg fell off... and floated down the river.

Mr Tilly had a ten foot wi**y, and he showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a Snake so she hit it with a rake, and now it’s only 4 foot 4.

Sorry ??

Skinny Malinke long legs
Big banana feet
Went tae the pictures
An couldnae find a seat
When the picture started
Skinny Malinke farted.

Baa Baa Black Sheep
Have you any wool?
' course I have, I'm a sheep, you fool

Valels

Aunty Mary had a canary
up the leg of her drawers
When she farted, down it darted
With a round of applause

That little ditty is is now stuck in my head, it'll be days before I can get rid of it

Ours was . . .
My Auntie Mary, had a canary
Up the leg of her drawers
She pulled a string, to make it sing
And down came Santa Claus