Silly Songs

A version of Yammy's, taught to my sisters and I by my grandpa, to my mother's disapproval :

Anna Mariah
Peed on the fire
The fire was too hot so she peed on the pot
The pot was too round so she peed on the ground
The ground was too flat so she peed on the cat
The cat ran away with the pee on its back.

My grandad also used to sit at the dinner table with his false teeth sticking partway out of his mouth, and when he played board games with us kids, cheated disgracefully. I like having an ancestor with a bit of character!

Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today;
How I wish he'd go away.

Old ( name ) is a funny 'un,
Got a nose like a pickled onion,
Got a nose like a squashed tomato,
And hair like barbed wire.

To the tune of 'My Bonny lies over the ocean' :
My body lies over the flowerbed,
My head is stuck up in a tree,
My legs lie under a rose bush,
Oh bring back my anatomy.

My Bonny lies over the ocean.
My Bonny lies over the sea
My father lies over my mother
And that’s how they both got me

My granny went down to the cellar
To see where the gas leak might be
She struck up a match to see better
Oh bring back my granny to me

And talking of songs we sang at guides we had one about the Ancient Britons to the tune of Men of Harlech. I might have the words somewhere.

Part of it went

Climb up Snowdon with your woad on
Never mind if you get rained or snowed in
You'll be happy with your woad on, go it ancient B's.

MissAdventure

Spring is sprung, the grass is ris.
I wonder where the birdies is?

The bird is on the wing
But that's absurd
I thought the wing was on the bird.

I love a sausage
A Cooperative sausage
But ye cannae get near it fo
Rule Brittaniar the smell
If you fry it wi' an ingin
You can hear the ingin singin
Mary, my Scots blue belle

Sorry. It wouldn't post then sent a mixture.

I love a sausage
A Cooperative sausage
But ye cannae get near it fo
Rule Brittaniar the smell
If you fry it wi' an ingin
You can hear the ingin singin
Mary, my Scots blue belle

and

Rule Brittania
Marmalade and jam
Five Chinese crackers in your arsehole
Ban bang bang bang bang

Next verse has six crackers and six bangs, next one seven and so on until you can't fit any more bangs into the line.

Good grief. Rule Brittania gets into everything!

Oh Jemima, look at your Uncle Jim
He's in the duckpond learning how to swim
First he does the backstroke, then he does the side
And now he's underwater, swimming against the tide.

Alie20xon More Cosher Bailey -

Cosher Bailie's Aunty Julia, She was taken most peculiar,
Something append to her liver and she overflowed the river.

Cosher Bailie's Cousin Anna - she did play the Grand Piano
She went Ammer Ammer, Ammer till the neighbours said
Oh Damn her.

Cosher Bailie he did die, in his coffin he did lie, all at once
they heard some knocking - Cosher Bailie? Only joking.

You should see the bees at Gower, as they flit from flower to flower
You should see them at Llangothlin as they gather in the Pothllin

My father's a lavatory cleaner
He works from morning till night
But when he comes home in the evening
He's covered all over in......
Shine your buttons with Brasso
Shine your buttons so bright.

Now some say he died of a fever
And some say he died of a fright
But I know better than you do
He died of the smell of the...
Shine your buttons with Brasso
Shine your buttons so bright.

I remember being taught this by an aunt when I was about 5 and my mother was absolutely livid!

Jesus Christ, superstar
Walks like a woman and wears a bra.

Roll me over in the clover - a war time song and very risqué for the time, but I can't remember all the words. Google it!

I had an uncle, whose name was Lord Jim
Who said that his wife threw tomatoes at him
Now tomatoes are soft and they don't hurt the skin
But these here tomatoes were inside a tin.

Roll me over in the clover
Lay me down
And do it again ………….is that it?

As I was a-walking down Hanover Street
I met an old man with no shoes on his feet
I with compassion and money to spare
Went down to Rankins and bought him a pear.

Oh dear what can the matter be?
Three old ladies shut in a lavatory.
They stayed there from Monday till Saturday.
Nobody knew they were there.

Also can’t remember it properly, something like:

“Oh what fun, the little dog tickled the donkey’s bum”.

Dad used to sometimes start singing this and was roundly told off by my mum.

I can add another line:
Three old ladies shut in a lavatory.
They stayed there from Monday till Saturday.
Nobody knew they were there.

The first old lady was Elizabeth Pumfrey
She sat down and couldn't get her bum free...

Sorry, my brain didn't retain any more.

Great Chestnut never heard that bit. Just as well Granny didn’t know. She used to sing the first bit to annoy my mum her dil.

I found it on Wiki. Just scroll down to 'Parodies' and there are more words ha ha!
Oh dear what can the matter be

MissAdventure

Billy was a sheepdog, sitting on the grass, along came a bumble bee and stung him up the........ ask no questions, tell no lies... (Can't remember any more)

I saw a Policeman doing up his
Flies are a nuisance, bugs are even worse.
And this is the end of my silly little verse!

Come away, come away with William Tell.
Stick a cork up his bum and run like hell!
My father's a lavatory cleaner.
He works from morning to night.
And when he comes home in the evening.
He's covered all over in.....
Shine up your buttons with brasso.
It's only 2 shillings a tin.
My father gets it from Woolworths.
When we haven't got any in.

Daisy, Daisy, the coppers are after you.
And when they catch you they'll give what to do.
They'll tie you up with wire
And set your knickers on fire.
So ring your bell and pedal like hell.
On your bicycle made for 2,!

Mary had a little skirt
Twas sit all up the side.
And everywhere that Mary went.
The boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt.
Twas split all up the front.
She didn't wear that one very often!
..

Mary had a little lamb, her father killed it dead.
Now it goes to school with her, between two bits of bread.