I know,I said I need to be nicer...

It really is my worst nightmare.
I have always been quite territorial about my home, and enjoyed solitary things, but of course, I was working up until a year or so ago.

So it got on my nerves, but was nowhere near as bad.

With regard to blinds, I don't have any, currently, and have spent the "blind money" that I had saved.

I pull the curtains, but that seems to drive her into a frenzy, then when she finally gets to see me, it is just to tell me what she has done/will be doing.

It has also put me off the idea I had of pristine white blinds at my back door (when I can save up again) because I can imagine her scrabbling and fighting her way through them to get in.

Well, it certainly sounds like you need to put some boundaries in place and a very visible reminder of them. Maybe put it in writing that you very much appreciate her help on occasions but your recent illness means you need a lot of rest and a minimum of stress so you are putting a system in place where she will know whether her company is helpful or harmful. Then find a way of letting her know by some sort of sign where she will know when you are open for business.
I know your neighbour has been helpful but maybe an assessment of you by Adult Social Services may be worth getting so they can assist you with help whilst you are ill. Alternatively, there may be charitable help available. It would give you the ability to demand boundaries without worrying you will be unable to get help.
I do hope you can sort it out because it must be very stressful.

There has long been an assessment due from social services regarding my health and mobility issues, but I have been triaged and put as non urgent, which is fair, I think, considering some people's problems.

Also, mu neighbour can't read or write well at all, since long before the stroke.

That is how I came to deal with a lot of her paperwork and so on.

I'm feeling like the lowest of the low now, speaking ill of her.

There come a point when we each have to look after ourselves first.
Your moment has arrived.
I understand she has been of help to you in low moments in the past, but that is no longer the situation.
She is bringing you down now ... at a time in your life when you have more than enough to deal with.
Forget being kind, she is not being kind to you... she is railroading you and forcing her company on you without any concern for you.
Whatever her mental or physical or social problems, you do not have a duty of care for this woman.
Tell her to go away.
Tell her to get out of your house.
Tell her to leave you alone.
Do not mince your words.

We can all live without ice cream!!

MissAdventure

There has long been an assessment due from social services regarding my health and mobility issues, but I have been triaged and put as non urgent, which is fair, I think, considering some people's problems.

Also, mu neighbour can't read or write well at all, since long before the stroke.

That is how I came to deal with a lot of her paperwork and so on.

I'm feeling like the lowest of the low now, speaking ill of her.

You've actually been kind about her too so don't beat yourself up. You are allowed to put boundaries in place to look after your own mental health needs without feeling bad about it.

If her stroke means she doesn't read very well, a written notice hung on your door won't work. How about a graphic one - a sketch of you peacefully in bed with ZZZZ in a speech bubble, and "I am having a nap" under it (short and to the point) ?

A friend of mine had a neighbour like this. When she came round, she invariably shouted through the letterbox if knocking didn’t get a reply. ‘A’ used to hide behind the sofa until she had gone. One day I was there and I had to hide behind the sofa too! She had to put her hand over my mouth to stop me giggling!

I know someone who did that, and when the person told them she had been round, the hider's little boy said "We know, we saw you when we were behind the setter!"

I agree with what the other posters have said in that she might have early stages of dementia. It sounds like she has some mental health issues of some sort.

In addition to the other suggestions, could you get a chain on your door so that when she knocks you can open it slightly but she can't barge in.

I am not sure whether Age UK can help with things like this. They have a handyperson service in some areas.

www.ageuk.org.uk/services/in-your-area/handyperson-services/

If you open the door using the chain you could say that you are not feeling well or it isn't convenient at the moment.

I hope that you can resolve this as it must be unbearable

I'm feeling like the lowest of the low now, speaking ill of her.

Stop That!

You're not blaming her and she is causing problems for you.

Another good idea, elegran.

Just wanted to say, my neighbour has a lot of input from health services and so on - mainly because she refuses to take her medication or watch what she eats (another area that she absolutely will not be guided on)
She is very mobile and very able to live independently, and does.
Her home is beautifully clean, as is she, and she really isn't some poor little old dear who struggles with life.

It is just this damn compulsion to offload she seems to have (she has a counsellor to speak to, if she chooses, as well)

MissAdventure

With regard to blinds, I don't have any, currently, and have spent the "blind money" that I had saved.

I pull the curtains, but that seems to drive her into a frenzy, then when she finally gets to see me, it is just to tell me what she has done/will be doing.

It has also put me off the idea I had of pristine white blinds at my back door (when I can save up again) because I can imagine her scrabbling and fighting her way through them to get in.

electrified tripwire with alarm sirens at your back step??

Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've heard of electric blinds, too. Hmmmm...

I completely understand you feeling bad about talking about her, but you must now put your current needs first. You might need to try a few things and see what works best, or at all, then review. Is there any chance/hope that she may move to different accommodation in the foreseeable future? You might want to try to encourage her by mentioning great places to live with lots of activities to occupy her every day
......

re prescriptions, can you find a local chemist who delivers.
there is usually one in a locality who will do it, at least for disabled/ill people.
you just have to be less nice to and with that woman. be less available, which may mean locking back door for a while.
say little, be vague and shut her out. o.u.t.
good luck.

No, she loves it here!
She has been offered a good few bungalows over the years, but "wouldn't touch them with a bargepole" (too small, dirty, etc)

and very good neighbours too I'm sure!

I've no idea how this can be resolved quickly without fall out but I think over time habits can be changed. Best of luck and you can always come on here to vent if you need to, can't you?

Yes, I have found an online service which delivers prescriptions now, as I didnt qualify for delivery at our main chemists.

So, that's one issue dealt with, at least.

And I no longer need sick notes from my gp, so there is another problem solved.

Is it possible for you to move away? It sounds as if this woman's behaviour is detrimental to your quality of life.
There are some odd people everywhere not us ofcourse but you shouldn't have to put up with this person pestering you continually.

No chance of moving, I'm afraid.
I did lol on my bed with the door locked all of this morning, so it was just 2 visits today, but they were extra long ones!
Someone I see rarely came to see how I am, and left after two hours, none the wiser, be cause neither of us got a word in edgeways!

When the other person arrived I'd have said to Mrs Nice "Thanks for the chat. I'll have to throw you out now, sorry. See you tomorrow ."

take up meditation and tell her you CANNOT be disturbed and you need silence. Also put a sign on your door. You could also do a silent home retreat and wear a label saying IN SILENCE

She has complex issues which will not get better, could be early - mud stage Dementia or another mental health issue.
You say she has a big family, can you not talk to one of them (preferably with her standing there) and voice your concerns to them.
Or just tell her she's making your life a misery.