Paying towards Xmas stay

Nothing at all.

My mother used to come every year and bring a jar of M&S chutney, she would then bang on for ages how busy M&S was, how she couldn’t park,how they had almost sold out and how it gets more expensive every year.
You honestly would have thought she had climbed Everest to get the blasted chutney!
I used to want to ram the chutney………
She stayed for far too long drank her way through numerous bottles of wine and sherry, then would say she couldn’t help because she always got in the way.

Would never be expected to pay cash, but always take plenty goodies, booze etc. Same when I used to host Xmas Dinner, didn't expect money from any of them and back in the day I was on "the bones of my backside" financially!.

It depends on the financial circumstances of the offspring you are visiting. My two eldest don’t need anything so a bottle and chocolates would do fine as well as presents. However, the youngest is saving towards a down payment, therefore I would contribute to the cost of Christmas by doing a bank transfer before she went shopping.

My SiL never invites us to theirs for a meal. When they come here I really pull out the stops and make all of my brother’s favourite foods. We come from a mixed culture and his wife doesn’t make him any of our childhood foods. I love having them here. They usually bring flowers, chocolates and wine. One time my brother gave me money, saying that it’s expensive to entertain and they never reciprocate so he feels guilty. I was so upset that he had done this. I host with love and my hope is that my guests receive with love.
Don’t offer money unless it’s been requested. Local traders vouchers are great, taking stuff with you is great. Giving money is an insult.

We would never take payment from each other......can get my head round giving people money to feed you...unless you go to a restaurant

My inlaws always came to us for Christmas although never stayed as they only lived 5 miles away. Every December my MIL would give me a cheque for £100 to help with Christmas expenses.
It was very welcome as we were not well off and often hosted upto 16 people for christmas lunch. I never expected it but loved her for her thoughfulness. She's a much missed MIL.

Our family always come to us and No, they don’t offer anything nor do they bring anything, I don’t expect them to.

We transfer funds to local DD’s bank AND take some items too!
We’re not free loaders!
We used to have them back here on Boxing Day but she, very thoughtfully, asks us to return again so we don’t do that now for which DH and I are very grateful.
This year a local pub is doing a 3 course meal for £32 on Boxing Day so we’re all going there and we’ll be 'jostling’ to at least pay some of that.

Newquay, it wasn’t exactly ‘jostling* - dd1 was too sneaky for that! - it was just a pub lunch but maybe 6 of us, and as usual dh was saying it was our treat, since we do have more to spare.

After dd1 had argued about it, I kept an eagle eye on her, but when she went (as she said) to the loo, she took no bag or purse.
Turned out when dh asked for the bill that she’d already paid - with a credit card tucked down her bra!

Witzend. your posy made me laugh. That's the kind of thing my daughter does!

We only visit for the day but will take a couple of bottles and some chocolates, I also have to make the bread sauce and cranberry sauce.

The question has never arisen. usually everyone is with us and we long ago agreed what part of the Christmas celebrations each would bring.

I save my 'loyalty' points all year for the Xmas shop and whoever is hosting in the family gets them.

Hetty58

We always ask what they'd like us to bring - and we take extra Christmas goodies, too, like chocolates, wine etc. I'm sure that they wouldn't take cash. If they're really on a very tight budget, though, I'd offer. When I was broke, my brother would send me an M & S voucher before Christmas to 'buy something nice' with - and I could spend it in the food hall - wonderful.

" If they're really on a very tight budget, though, I'd offer."
Oh, most definitely.

It might be easier for them to have cash rather than having to think through all the "what can I ask them to bring's"

no shame on helping out cashwise imo, its "family" after all. Of course for some its a pride thing - each family is different.

Too easy to say ' we wouldn't dream of giving or receiving cash' extra guests cost money in lots of ways not just food. In these straitened times I think many host families would appreciate some financial input. Alternatively agree to supply food as needed.

There is extra heating as well. Us oldies probably need a lot more heating than younger families with the children running round and parents always "oh their feet".

It's easier these days - a quiet, "I've popped some money as a bank transfer so we can really enjoy ourselves" is easier than it used to be (cheques, cash are so much more "in your face".

In my case my DS and DiL are a lot better off than me - they've helped me out in the past with a warm coat, all done by a tactful, "popped some money into your account for"....

I dont do christmas but I dont hesitate to charge relatives, friends and neighbours for services or to be up front about doing so. Its best to be businesslike.

Even though my dear late Mum would never join us she always paid for our meat in the festive period from her online butcher and it covered Turkey, ham, Christmas pud, lamb and beef - tummy ! We have the three adult children who still live at home for Christmas Day and the other two come with their partners and our one grandchild for the day either just before it just after Christmas

I always make the pudding, mince pies, brandy butter etc, bread sauce, cranberry sauce. Take wine, chocs, prizes for the games and anything else they might like.

Another vote for no cash just presents food wine Christmas cake etc my lot would be offended if I offered money.

Gosh, really cannot imagine some form of financial agreement with family over the Christmas period.
Surely everyone mucks in, if you are hosting then guests invariably say "What can I bring " so you tell 'em ! I don't mean a hamper from Fortnums but contributions welcome.
Money I would be very uncomfortable with however.

Always ask to split the food bill and say we're not coming if they don't agree. We still get our food cooked beautifully and waited on so to pay our share of the food is only fair. Give a gift into their bank accounts for Christmas separately.

My brother always brings the cheese board, all delicious different cheeses from a speciality shop. Our friend brings desserts. When in laws came they always paid for the turkey. Boxing Day everyone brings something so it’s not too expensive for us.

I always take sausage rolls, mince-pies, a cooked ham, Christmas cake and pudding, all home-made. Plus chocolates and a few bottles; that seems to keep everyone happy!