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Neopronouns

(285 Posts)
Doodle Tue 17-Jan-23 11:40:44

I confess I find the whole pronoun thing difficult to understand. I can cope with the he/his she/her. I have difficulty with they as I think of the word as plural.
Today in an article I came across ze/zir and wondered why people would use these terms and and what they meant.

Looking up neopronouns I discover that a neopronoun is a word that can be created to serve as a pronoun.
For example bun/bunself or kitten/kittenself,
If someone used bun/bunself would they be upset if others referred to them as they/themself? I’m lost.

Galaxy Sat 21-Jan-23 11:11:53

I have no idea if she is gender critical or not. We dont discuss that issue. Its possible to be uncomfortable with pronouns without being gender critical. Remembering that someone always should be referred to as they is stressful for her. I listen to her, she can manage her own decisions on this she doesn't need me to tell her how to behave.

VioletSky Sat 21-Jan-23 11:12:49

glorianny yes it's only a small drop in a complicated language

Gagajo a lot of mainstream platforms have removed groups and forums where people were actively discriminating, mumsnet has much fewer community guidelines but that's probably subject to change at some point

VioletSky Sat 21-Jan-23 11:14:01

Galaxy

I have no idea if she is gender critical or not. We dont discuss that issue. Its possible to be uncomfortable with pronouns without being gender critical. Remembering that someone always should be referred to as they is stressful for her. I listen to her, she can manage her own decisions on this she doesn't need me to tell her how to behave.

Sorry but you have reasoned yourself into a dead end at this point and it's all a bit contradictory

Glorianny Sat 21-Jan-23 11:14:47

Galaxy

The people responsible for helping her to understand. What on earth are you talking about. Shes an adult woman, with a career etc she doesnt need anyone to help her understand.

The first answer was in reply to the discussion about neurodivergent children. The second was a direct reply to you.
Nothing about anyone helping her.

But the question remains if you really want to help your friend why wouldn't you say 'Just ask" if she is worried about using the wrong pronoun?

Galaxy Sat 21-Jan-23 11:18:40

MN will be fine. Gender critical belief is protected under law so there are legal protections available in terms of their ability to discuss the subject.

VioletSky Sat 21-Jan-23 11:19:23

Discrimination is not protected under the equality act

Galaxy Sat 21-Jan-23 11:20:00

It wouldnt help her they have told her. That's what she was talking about.

Galaxy Sat 21-Jan-23 11:21:20

No but a gender critical belief is. MN delete anything discriminatory if reported same as GN.

VioletSky Sat 21-Jan-23 11:22:22

Maybe stop speaking for her now, you don't seem to know each other all that well and you don't seem in a position to alleviate any of her stress or worry

Ilovecheese Sat 21-Jan-23 11:22:24

VioletSky

glorianny yes it's only a small drop in a complicated language

Gagajo a lot of mainstream platforms have removed groups and forums where people were actively discriminating, mumsnet has much fewer community guidelines but that's probably subject to change at some point

These zealots really are policing what women are allowed to talk about. Where is this leading?

Galaxy Sat 21-Jan-23 11:23:53

I will talk about anything I like VS that doesnt break guidelines.

VioletSky Sat 21-Jan-23 11:28:19

The reason mainstream platforms have removed GC groups and forums is due to escrimation and concerns of hate speech leading to violence.

If MN end up with the same concerns that could lead to more guidelines on that topic

If more guidelines means taking up extreme amounts of time in moderation then yes GC feminists could lose that as a platform

It makes no difference to me, I have an account now but have commented less than a handful of times and not on that issue

Realistically though this has absolutely nothing to do with preferred pronouns or GC beliefs

If people ask for gender neutral pronouns I see no motivation for denying them. I only see benefits in terms of equality

VioletSky Sat 21-Jan-23 11:30:04

They have also removed INCEL groups and forums due to the same concerns

It's not about women, it's about extremism

Galaxy Sat 21-Jan-23 11:33:24

Gender critical beliefs are protected by law. If you mean Twitter then all of the GC accounts that I know of have been re instated.
Recognising you cant change sex is not an extremist belief.

Galaxy Sat 21-Jan-23 11:39:45

That's without getting into the debate about who you would trust to decide what an extremist belief is. Good luck with that. I am sure you would be happy for Elon Musk to make that decision or you know Trump or Farage if they managed a social media site. Unfortunatrly there generally arent simple solutions to complex problems.

Glorianny Sat 21-Jan-23 11:53:51

Ilovecheese

VioletSky

glorianny yes it's only a small drop in a complicated language

Gagajo a lot of mainstream platforms have removed groups and forums where people were actively discriminating, mumsnet has much fewer community guidelines but that's probably subject to change at some point

These zealots really are policing what women are allowed to talk about. Where is this leading?

Galaxy you might also then like to discuss with your friend how she feels about revealing her condition to the people she has problems with and explaining why she has problems. I think the more people talk about hidden disabilities the better.

As a teenager my DS had problems revealing his dyslexia to anyone. He has got past this as an adult and now has no problems discussing it with others. He also realises that revealing his dyslexia, and having people wonder about it, because of the field he works in, is helpful in overcoming the common perception that dyslexic's are just thick.

Glorianny Sat 21-Jan-23 11:55:06

Sorry don't know why that came up as a reply to Ilove cheese it isn't.

Galaxy Sat 21-Jan-23 12:01:09

Yes I hear that a lot towards parents of children with disabilities, I am not sure how I feel about it, I have certainly heard the viewpoint that it is just another job that those parents are expected to do, you know inform and educate everyone whilst managing all the thousands of other things, such as endless appointments, telling their story to professionals for the millionth time, etc. I sometimes ask parents to share their story in training etc but as long as it doesnt become an expectation I suppose.

Caleo Sat 21-Jan-23 12:04:29

The polite pronoun to use is mostly a problem for personal relationships. It's no more difficult to remember someone's new pronoun than to remember someone's new name

In academic dialogue it's understood that 'mankind', 'man', and 'God', are traditionally masculine gender and use of 'he' or even 'Him' for God, will not detract from what someone is arguing.

JaneJudge Sat 21-Jan-23 12:07:32

I always felt uncomfortable about the position put forward of inclusion in mainstream being there to educate the normals. Why on earth should inclusion be presented in such a way>? why not be open minded enough to recognise that for a lot of children special school is more inclusive

Glorianny Sat 21-Jan-23 12:07:32

Galaxy

Yes I hear that a lot towards parents of children with disabilities, I am not sure how I feel about it, I have certainly heard the viewpoint that it is just another job that those parents are expected to do, you know inform and educate everyone whilst managing all the thousands of other things, such as endless appointments, telling their story to professionals for the millionth time, etc. I sometimes ask parents to share their story in training etc but as long as it doesnt become an expectation I suppose.

I thought it wasn't a child but an adult you were talking about. If her disability is the reason she struggles with pronouns surely urging her to be open about it can only help her.

Galaxy Sat 21-Jan-23 12:10:43

No I was widening the discussion about people with disabilities and their families in the case of children, having to educate everyone. It's quite a delicate subject for some. If you look at the boards on MN relating to disabilities you will see some parents being very forthright about it grin

JaneJudge Sat 21-Jan-23 12:15:38

People treat you like it's a zoo grin actually it's one of the worst things about being a parent of a child with a disability, people want explanations, even people you don't know.

Galaxy Sat 21-Jan-23 12:17:05

Under 20 specialist spaces for autism across my whole city Jane sad

VioletSky Sat 21-Jan-23 12:20:09

I don't know how many times I have to repeat it

I am not talking about GC beliefs, people are entitled to their beliefs, and i not being personal or attacking anyone's beliefs by disagreeing with them.

What I have said several times is that discrimination is not protected by the equality act and neither is hate speech.

If a community group or forum (which were independently moderated by GC feminists by the way) was doing nothing to disagree with or disallow active discrimination and hate speech... they lost said forum for not following community standards

It's just the fact of the matter