When things break down...

As corner says, it's the being trapped, I think. You will, no doubt, think of loads of things that you need to do involving a car.

With you all the way Maw.
My tyre light came on ten days after the tyres had been checked. Tyres checked again by lovely tyre guys - fine, but light wouldn't go off. Then randomly it goes off, then back on, just in time for the icy weather. Back to tyre guys.
'I'm so sorry to waste your time again'
'No, in this weather, we'd rather test tyres that are fine, than risk anyone driving on faulty tyres'
(Their parents taught them well!)

Could you ask if the garage provides a courtesy car? Sometimes you have to pay a bit extra, or it may be covered by your insurance. Of all the things to have taken away from you, the car represents your freedom and your being in control of your life. I can understand why it feels disconcerting.

I think, Maw, that being the person who always copes is a bit like being the troublesome toddler!

Both are more fun if you have an audience!

I have when alone dissolved in tears over things that if any member of the family had been nearby, I would have dealt with promptly without a fuss.

Neither of us can remember the exact occasion,, but my husband claims that once years ago when we could not get some appliance to work and no-one would make any helpful suggestions or even come and look at the blasted thing, I volunteered to phone the firm and did so. He sat with his mouth hanging open, I quote "listening to my competant wife with two university degrees in her baggage acting the little helpless dumb blond girl on the phone.AND it worked!"

I have graduated to the "little old helpless woman routine" now, at least if I expect anyone to actually come to fix it, as a) I never in my life was blond, and b) I suspect that at 71 the little helpless blond lassie won't cut any ice any more.

Give it a try! Badger all the local mechanics until someone sends someone to fix those brakes.

My Virgin box isn’t working, but I’m being told by Virgin that it is the tv, I’m 90% certain that it is the box and not tv - need our son to have a look as we simply don’t have enough technical knowledge - grrr!

I feel your pain, Maw! Not being in total control panics me these days, something which never used to happen. I am recovering from a roof leak, dealt with at less than the estimate by a competent local firm; until the scaffolding goes (next week with luck) I won’t feel the house is my own. No justification for my discomfort but it’s just how things are nowadays.

When all else fails I start making lists of what needs to be done and how I am going to do it. If I have to have patience I fill in anxious time with knitting/jigsaws/watching good videos on You Tube. Then I write up results as they happen. I am naturally neurotic but I do find that this helps calm my nerves.

I sympathise with you Maw. Do you have a good relationship with your garage/electrical engineer/computer wizard etc? These relationships are important if you are on your own. You need to be able to trust they won't rip you off and they will help you when you need them.

Whitewavemark2

My Virgin box isn’t working, but I’m being told by Virgin that it is the tv, I’m 90% certain that it is the box and not tv - need our son to have a look as we simply don’t have enough technical knowledge - grrr!

I’ve got a collection of Talk Talk tv boxes because every time catchup tv stops working they send me another box. It never is the box. The tv guy that came out today says Talk Talk keep him in business.

Right, little car has been flat bedded to the Skoda garage (it’s still under warranty or I would have looked closer to home) and I take delivery of a courtesy car tomorrow - result!
Whether I can keep it until mine is ready, who knows, but “dumping” my car at the garage while they fork out for a hire care might help to focus their minds. Thank you helpful Skoda Assistance breakdown!
But many of you have “got” the difference of dealing with things on one’s own and that has helped 🙏

Whitewavemark2

My Virgin box isn’t working, but I’m being told by Virgin that it is the tv, I’m 90% certain that it is the box and not tv - need our son to have a look as we simply don’t have enough technical knowledge - grrr!

Have you gone into settings on both TV and the box (ours is Humax) and reconnected to the Wifi by putting in the pin number?

It didn't work when I just did it on the TV, I had to re-set both, although I've no idea why it had disconnected itself.

👍. You’re part way to getting the problem solved, Maw! You might be right about the hire car speeding things up. I was given a hire car after a three week delay. I only had it for 48hrs (and got to grips with a manual gear box again!) when my own car was suddenly ready.

Try to remember the saying 'This too will pass' .
You will cope and it will get sorted. I do understand though and hope you get things fixed soon. It does feel hard being an 'Adult' sometimes and having to deal with all the various problems big and small that come our way and even harder when dealing with them on your own.

I know how you feel. Not necessarily the car though that's a pest but just that feeling that you wish you weren't having to face these things on your own.
Ofcourse you can cope but why do you need to. I'm sure you'd rather do something nice.

It's sometimes just small things that send me into a tearful state.
A woman I know was rather abrupt to me in a shop today. It made me feel sorry for myself.

Annsixty what a time you are having. Sending hugs.

When it comes to the car I am lucky and have a brilliant man who I can trust to only do the work that is necessary and charges very reasonable rates. The only worry is what happens when he retires. I'm actually finding things like repairs easier with out DH. He would always insist on doing things himself and "saving money" Of course that often meant waiting weeks until he felt like doing it! Now I just replace things or get someone to fix them. So much quicker and less stressful.

Most people do t like night driving. I actually hate driving on a very bright sunny day. On one such day, the sun blinded me as I was turning round a roundabout and drove into the centre of it causing £1500 worth of damage and a £150 pound increase in my insurance. It has made me a nervous driver. But I have to get on with it. No other choice

Thanks MawtheMerrier for your thread.
Recently, I too have noticed the same lack of confidence and dread when something goes wrong! I'm not long retired and my car recently carked it due to heavy rain. Luckily my son came over and got it started for me.

I was reflecting on the emotions I go through, the stress and anxiety over what is seemingly something straightforward and how now it causes all sorts of angst. I think part of the problem is because I've been on my own for so long I'm actually tired of having to step up and get whatever sorted.

Anyway I'm so glad I'm not alone, perhaps it is an age related thing?

Hang in there, in a few weeks what you're feeling now will be over. I guess its a matter of trying to learn that these stressors will pass. If we learn that, we will come out the other side and perhaps not find things so discombobulating next time. Fingers crossed.

Callistemon21

Whitewavemark2

My Virgin box isn’t working, but I’m being told by Virgin that it is the tv, I’m 90% certain that it is the box and not tv - need our son to have a look as we simply don’t have enough technical knowledge - grrr!

Have you gone into settings on both TV and the box (ours is Humax) and reconnected to the Wifi by putting in the pin number?

It didn't work when I just did it on the TV, I had to re-set both, although I've no idea why it had disconnected itself.

Thank you for - what appears to be advice - but I’m sorry I don’t speak that language😄😄😄

I will show it to my son when he eventually turns up

Callistemon21

Whitewavemark2

My Virgin box isn’t working, but I’m being told by Virgin that it is the tv, I’m 90% certain that it is the box and not tv - need our son to have a look as we simply don’t have enough technical knowledge - grrr!

Have you gone into settings on both TV and the box (ours is Humax) and reconnected to the Wifi by putting in the pin number?

It didn't work when I just did it on the TV, I had to re-set both, although I've no idea why it had disconnected itself.

The tv guy told me that if TalkTalk can’t provide a wi fi tv box I need to get a Humax. But I need to change my email log in number. It’s so long since I joined Talk Talk I’ve no idea what the old number is. They say that everything should work with the router they’re sending. If I have a Humax does that mean I don’t have to pay TalkTalk for catchup tv? It all seemed quite straight forward when he was telling me what to do but now I’m confused again. I know that I can change my iPad to the new router but do I have to do anything with the computer ( which I still don’t know how to work properly!).

So pleased to hear it is being sorted out Maw.

Maw you need to ditch the car, sell up, and get yerself back to London!

Great public transport and everything on your doorstep, including lots of green space for the hound

Serendipity22

I live in Yorkshire !

Us tykes have grit 🤣. Though sometimes these days I can forget that for a moment.

WhiteWave
What make tv do you have? If it’s an LG their support line is brilliant. It’s not done by messaging online like some but a human speaking you through the problem.

I sympathise. Things do loom larger, make one feel more helpless, etc etc. All I will say is that life HAS got more complicated and things ARE harder to sort with long awaits on phone lines and much more done digitally and less contact with real people to sort: backlogs on a lot of official things, often having to join the dots on medical matters when before one didnt, etc.

But it is easier living at the edge of a big city with resources easily to hand.

My car dilemmas are easily sorted as the garage I use now comes and collect the car and drops it off afterwards and will lend cars.

Sometimes it's just the stress of one more thing going wrong that unnerves.