Feeling anxious about husband being misunderstood in the world now controlled by the wokeness police,!!

What about the current craze that younger people have of calling everybody “lovely”? Where’s that from ….. Wales?

I wish your husband well sankev

He is fortunate still to be able to communicate, many stroke victims cannot.

Please do not upset yourself over this.

Hithere

I was born with a name and i expect people to use it
Darling is a term of endearment, reserved for close relationships, not strangers

Would a man say darling to another guy?
No, it is reserved for women

As a person, i expect the same respect a person witn a penis has, not being called darllng based on my ovaries

Chauvinistic attitude at best

Or charm from a byone era?! An old colonel used to call me 'darling' and I loved it. He was such a sweetie. Long passed away now but the echo of a time when gents took their hats off when a lady passed by. So what about 'honey' or 'dear ? I don't think you should be apologising for an elderly gent's behaviour, rather tell the receptionist to wise up to who her patients are treat them as individuals with a wealth of life experience behind their now frail and feeble appearance. For all she knows he may have fought for his country in the Second World War. What are we coming to?!

Get over yourselves. I don''t call anyone 'darling' or even 'love', apart from my nearest and dearest. However, I can understand that some of my generation have grown up using these terms alternatively. So what if a checkout lady in a supermarket calls me 'darling? She's not being over-familiar but simply using a word that comes naturally to her. I prefer it to 'madam'.

For all she knows he may have fought for his country in the Second World War.

He'd have to be at least 96 years old then.

I don't suppose he is, is he OP?

I have just remembered an expression used frequently on the 50s/60s ( London) love a duck . Think it was to do with surprise but not sure now. Does anyone remember that?
As for the OP yes we are in different times in terms of offence easily taken. Try not to worry but if someone appears offended have a quiet word.
I wish you both well.

Indeed anno, same here.

And it is very regional, especially for our generation and a bit older. When I moved from London to the Potteries, I couldn't believe my ears and was almost shocked with all the 'love' 'duck' 'dahling' and so on- but quickly got used to it and it became part of life. Same when we moved over to Leicestershire.

So much pain and hurt in the world, I refuse to get uptight about someone calling me 'lover' or even 'darling'. Depends on context, of course.

Too much offence and too little kindness and understanding.
Result a brittle less pleasant society.

NanKate

I’m happy to be called Pet, Darling, Madam etc

What I don’t like is the obligatory ‘Have a nice/lovely day’ said to me in most shops now. I regularly explain to assistants that for people of my age having a nice day could be impossible for those who may be experiencing illness for themselves or family members, hospital visits, bereavement, loneliness etc

Excellent post NanKate

In my opinion, there's so much more to be offended by than being called Darling or Love by a stranger.

The world is going to hell in a handcart with wars and stabbings and strikes that I'm not going to give a second's thought to something so minor. I just don't care about it. It signifies nothing.

Hon, love, sweets, darling, dear, whatever -it’s not a problem here OP, though people may well make you feel uncomfortable about it and I’m sorry about that. I don’t suppose they’d be any happier if you publicly told him, “They don’t like being called darling.”
The complaints would then be, “You didn’t have to say that so publicly!”

One of the teachers I worked with (he died young and was sadly missed) used to use darling for all the female staff. It was just his way. I don’t remember anyone complaining.
Now I sometimes get referred to as hon, but it’s by a female TA, so I suppose that wouldn’t offend anyone.

Too much offence and too little kindness and understanding spot on Lovetopaint

Don't let it worry you and spoil your trips out sankev. I don't understand why anyone would take offence being addressed as 'darling' by an elderly gentlemen and if they are, the problem's theirs.

What I don’t like is the obligatory ‘Have a nice/lovely day’ said to me in most shops now
I agree NanKate!
“Have a lovely/wonderful evening”
I want to snarl “I should be so lucky!” but I don’t, I smile and say “You too”
Similarly with “See you later” especially from male teenage check out assistant.
I fantasise about doing a Marjorie fforbes-Hamilton and drawling “I think that is highly unlikely” but it’s the new polite and until we agree a universal format (as in France) we should be jolly glad people talk to us old dears at all.

Well you hear everything on GN!

And here's me joining in.
DMiL aged 98 is in hospital ATM. I was visiting and the young nurse called her darling or my darling the whole time despite her name being above her bed.
I squirmed because it infantilised her in my opinion.

Here is a person who lived through the 2nd world war, was an English teacher, (very well read and intelligent) has travelled the world, lived in India and France, speaks French fluently, has run a hotel, brought up 3 DC, nursed her own DH and so on .
At the end of our lives none of that matters and here she is, like a baby again.

Btw I get called Hen, luvvy, dear and Allsorts. I don't mind it.

I don’t particularly like being called darling or love but in the big scheme of things to worry about I let it go. I like even less being called hun or babe grrr. My hairdresser always calls me lovie wouldn’t dream of saying anything to her.

Your DH has a polite manner even though he has had stroke. It’s his way and he isn’t going to change now people who know him won’t take offence.
My dad was old fashioned and used expressions like darling and love. He was a lovely character and I wish every day he was still here but he didn’t get over his stroke.
People who don’t know him and who aren’t woke 24/7 will probably dismiss the darling expression. You really don’t need to stress about it and don’t let it stop you going out.

Oh for heavens sake!
How can you be so offended with an elderly gentleman calling you ‘darling’.
The world has gone mad !

And yet - a poster thinks it all right to respond to the phrase "Have a nice day" with the retort that they are old and can't possibly have a nice day. Somebody thinks the appropriate way to respond to another person IRL is to tell them to "wise up".

We don't know if the receptionist was offended or even if she had patients (LRavenscroft !) or a hotel to look after.

Why so touchy? And they call us snowflakes...

I suspect that the 'darling' comment is just an example. A bus driver called me darling recently and I got off the bus smiling happily. I don't know why! He was a nice cheery man and we were both happy about it.
However, older people may use language that was in common use in their youth but are now total nonos! My late MiL was a really nice kind lady but I remember my DS cringing at some of the things she came out with on the bus. Absolutely no harm meant but...!!
Is the OP afraid of that sort of thing?

volver3

And yet - a poster thinks it all right to respond to the phrase "Have a nice day" with the retort that they are old and can't possibly have a nice day. Somebody thinks the appropriate way to respond to another person IRL is to tell them to "wise up".

We don't know if the receptionist was offended or even if she had patients (LRavenscroft !) or a hotel to look after.

Why so touchy? And they call us snowflakes...

I am going off to give my head a wobble and a strong espresso as yet again I find myself in total agreement with you ☕️🙀

I never get upset when I get called " darling" or "love" by old people whether I know them or not. One old man frequently calls me darling because temporarily he forgets my name. He's 97, and yes he did serve in WW2. Why on earth would I worry and get upset about things like this.
As with all conversation for me the way a word is used, the context and intent is the important factor.
I can make "Sir" or "Madam" sound like a huge insult if I really want.

I like and agree with your comment Sparklefizz. 👍

Absolutely Salti. It ain't what you say but the way that you say it that matters.

My Geordie SonIL sometimes calls me pet - I seem to be surviving somehow.

I call people darling when I can't remember their names, so must remain damned forever.
Years ago, the girl of the bacon counter of the local co-op called everyone cock, as in "what can I get you, cock".
And, to be perfectly clear, if I upset anyone it is their problem not mine.

And, to be perfectly clear, if I upset anyone it is their problem not mine.

You seem nice.