Feeling anxious about husband being misunderstood in the world now controlled by the wokeness police,!!

FannyCornforth

And I suppose that chickens and ducks were the most widely ‘domesticated’ animals.

Apparently, ‘bunny’ was first used for little children, and then some how got attached to rabbits

Ah.. a friend of mine always called her daughter bunny, not her real name..

It’s sweet isn’t it.
Katie Price’a younger daughter is actually called Bunny

FannyCornforth

pascal30

Isn't it interesting how many of these terms are poultry based duck, love a duck, chick, chicken, chicks, duckie, bird, and hen

Just musing..

Duck actually comes from the Anglo Saxon word ‘ducas’ which was a term of respect, like boss or guvnor.

Many of the animal ones are because names for young animals and birds became interchangeable with terms of endearment for little children.

Did the West Midlands ‘chick’ morph into the Lancastrian ‘chuck’, I wonder

My mother called me 'chick'
My DB called each other 'Our kid'

pascal30

FannyCornforth

And I suppose that chickens and ducks were the most widely ‘domesticated’ animals.

Apparently, ‘bunny’ was first used for little children, and then some how got attached to rabbits

Ah.. a friend of mine always called her daughter bunny, not her real name..

We knew a Bunny (not her real name).
She'd be about 90 now.

OurKid1

volver3

if the person being called darling is not aware that an elderly man may have always called women darling, then they need to be more aware/woke.

If the elderly man had always called people of colour ni**ers, would that make it OK to keep doing that?

Its not that he has always done it, its that his "filter" may have gone. That's what other people need to be aware of.

There is a whole world of difference between using the N word and calling someone darling.

Oh, hello OurKid, I just saw your post after I posted mine!

Didn't know you were on here, I'd better watch what I say about you

I used to have a lovely elderly neighbour who always called me Darling. I loved it because I was pleased that she liked me that much. I had a friend who had married a man much older than herself. He was a lovely man, always loved female company and, as he became more infirm, his filters did slip a bit and he always wanted a hug and a kiss. We didn't mind because he was such a nice person and we were all very fond of him. I think I may have called the consultant treating DH Darling a few times, but that was because he was one.

Just wanted to return and read all and its so much about context, isn't it?

And of course whether the person reacting knows the person as opposed to strangers in the shop or cafe or street, since some of the encounters described above are with people we know and that makes all the difference in the world.

And how much "strangers" understand "difference" (it could be a person like my granddaughter who will come across as very very strange and even scary when she grows up)
......and those strokes and dementia and so on.

Its been an interesting discussion but I wanted to say something for myself to the O/P -

I am politically "woke" but my life and work has involved encountering many (well in my own family) whose behavior will be "difficult" to some

and my "wokeness" and life experiences make me more sympathetic, more inclined to find a resolution to a difficult situation than otherwise.

Abuse is of course very different - having recently left a coercively abusive marriage, police involved etc, I will not tolerate that.

Surely 'darling', 'dear' or 'love' were just throwaway words used by both sexes and having zero sexual connotations. Anyone old enough to have watched Coronation Street or Eastenders should get my point.

I think that sometimes, people look for offence when none was ever intended. It’s all about context and situation, isn’t it?

I had to see a nurse today for my Long Term Conditions Review. She told me that she was 33. I am 70. She called me ‘sweetie’, ‘sweetheart’, and ‘lovely’. I didn’t mind a bit.

My late fil was terrible at remembering names so he called all women lovey and all men mate. No one complained. He was probably about 70 when he started . He was also a Londoner from battersea before it became gentrified.

I have recently been in hospital with pneumonia and a lovely nurse prefaced every greeting with “my name darling”, I absolutely loved it. She made me feel cared for in a way I’ve missed since my husband died. I mean it was a delight. Especially in the light of being so poorly and experiencing the modern NHS. I’m so thankful for her kindness and her caring words. What a shame everything has to come down to taking offence.

Nanatoone, I was in hospital recently and understand what you mean. I experienced nothing but kindness, it makes it so much easier to deal with ill health. As long as I'm not classed as geriatric, which I was called during one stay, they can call me what they like.

I hope you are on the mend.

The world has changed but will undoubtedly change again and some other daft idea will take hold.
Meanwhile, remember to keep apologising for using the words you’ve used all your life and for the sins of your ancestors who profited from the slave trade or murdered a rival clan 500 years ago.
It’s all our fault of course.

I often wonder what concepts beliefs and behaviour we are so proud of today will be utterly damned and criticised in a hundred years time.

Quite some years ago I did start a thread on this, but most people could not get their heads around suggesting topics that today, almost all of us would sign up to with sincerity and care and just listed things that we already deplore like poverty, sexual abuse, lack of spending on the NHS.

In fact 100 years from now, it will probably be our concern that everything should be inclusive, our attempts to control how people think by controlling their vocabulary, possible the trans issue, obsession with university level education. There could be a mass return to religious beleif and we could be candemned as an irreligious age.

If your hackles rose that any of the above should ever be seen as other than a good thing. It is worth remembering that those are the things future generations will turn on us for - when we are all too dead to defend our beliefs.