Feeling anxious about husband being misunderstood in the world now controlled by the wokeness police,!!

I have no problem with being called darling, love, dear, pet - friendly greetings. I really don’t understand why people are so offended by innocent friendliness.

You ought to come to Brighton everyone calls each other darlin, love, lovely and the other day I was called scumptious by someone in the big art community down here. Do I get offended? absolutely not.. and if an old man called me darling I would give him a nice smile...

scrumptious

My son suffered a severe head injury. Made a good recovery although still problems. He says much worse things. Sometimes embarrassing or totally non pc. It's not always possible to explain. Luckily his work colleagues understand. We do point it out to him, but it's very difficult to change this.
We need to be aware and make allowances for those who don't have full mentally capacity for whatever reason.

Message withdrawn.

WTF....

what is wrong with that?

Where shall I start?

I know who I am - I don't need validation from other people by them not calling me darling!

There are so many worse things to be called.

FannyCornforth

Hithere

Your rights cannot infringe mine, empathy or not

Being called "darling" is very much a nono

No it isn’t

Well, it's quite obvious when someone feels "their rights" over something fairly inocuous like this trump those of someone who is struggling with the world around them and may behave in a way they never did, that someone has no empathy or understanding for the struggles of others.
No understanding of the person and no understanding whatsoever of the struggles of those caring for that person.

Thank goodness there are so many caring and understanding people in the work.

That was very wrong Boz. You must know that.

pascal30

You ought to come to Brighton everyone calls each other darlin, love, lovely and the other day I was called scumptious by someone in the big art community down here. Do I get offended? absolutely not.. and if an old man called me darling I would give him a nice smile...

No-one's called me scrumptious for years 😂

Come to sunny Devon where anyone may be called "Me Lover"

Satkev so sorry for your plight, could you not mouth he's had a stroke so they understand, if you tell your H he will not remember the next day. My mum had a stroke and did begin to say slightly inappropriate things but then lost her speech, so sad.

Take no heed of Hithere.

Silver yes, I remember 'love a duck', my aunt & uncle always used the term 'ducks' I remember it with fondness.

If someone called my 'luv' or 'darling' I'd take it as it was meant with kindness. So much badness in the world how could you be offended by an endearing term!

Grammaretto

Well you hear everything on GN!

And here's me joining in.
DMiL aged 98 is in hospital ATM. I was visiting and the young nurse called her darling or my darling the whole time despite her name being above her bed.
I squirmed because it infantilised her in my opinion.

Here is a person who lived through the 2nd world war, was an English teacher, (very well read and intelligent) has travelled the world, lived in India and France, speaks French fluently, has run a hotel, brought up 3 DC, nursed her own DH and so on .
At the end of our lives none of that matters and here she is, like a baby again.

Btw I get called Hen, luvvy, dear and Allsorts. I don't mind it.

Oh I get that- your indignation at your mum's loss of dignity. Totally. Being infantilised goes far beyond calling her 'darling or my darling' I am quite sure. And it is hard to hear, to see, to feel - the whole thing, not just the names. Totally.

However, the question is 'it upset you, but did it upset HER'. Why not talk to the young nurse, nicely and with a smile, and tell her how it makes you feel. As long as you do it in the right spirit, she could learn from this.

I'm sure most of us are mature enough to be able to tell the difference when someone uses terms like "darling" because they have had a stroke, dementia or other problems, or it is a local colloquial term, and when someone is being downright sleazy.

Boz

Message withdrawn

Where do I start?

Volver I think Boz must be trying to wind you up. If that really happened it is disgusting.

You may be right 25Avalon

If anyone thinks that this is a good way of winding somebody up then they are disgusting.

Primrose53

What about the current craze that younger people have of calling everybody “lovely”? Where’s that from ….. Wales?

My friend calls everyone lovely, she's from SE England.

There's lovely!

Volver one questions the morals of someone who even thinks it’s ok for a little girl especially to have this happen.

I think it is quite funny the things that can offend people.
I don't mind people telling me to "Have a nice day." I always think there's the possibility that it might make the day better.

I think you can only take each situation as it comes sankev and try to judge the level of irritation he has caused. If it seems the person he spoke to is very upset then a quiet word about his condition might help. If it's just minor then ignore it.
You could also try giving a glance back as you walk away , raising your eyebrows and mouthing "sorry"

As far as Geordie land goes I think the term "pet" is falling into disuse. It doesn't seem to be heard much now.

Fleurpepper

Indeed anno, same here.

And it is very regional, especially for our generation and a bit older. When I moved from London to the Potteries, I couldn't believe my ears and was almost shocked with all the 'love' 'duck' 'dahling' and so on- but quickly got used to it and it became part of life. Same when we moved over to Leicestershire.

So much pain and hurt in the world, I refuse to get uptight about someone calling me 'lover' or even 'darling'. Depends on context, of course.

It always makes me smile if I go back and someone calls me 'duck' in a shop or when out somewhere!

Yes I agree Glorianny I live in the north east and rarely hear pet.

Avalon I don’t think that she (Boz) was a little girl.
The reference was to the silly poem:
‘there was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forrid.
And when she was good, she was very very good, and when she was bad she was horrid’.

That said, I found the anecdote rather confusing

I'm feeling aggrieved now. No-one's ever called me darling. Humph.

In Yorkshire and Lancashire it was luv all the time. I don't remember anything from the eastern Scottish cities I lived in. Nor in Oxfordshire. Now, in west Scotland, it's pal or mate.

sankev, in your position I think I'd mouth a quiet "sorry!" to anyone whose body language suggested offence to you and leave it at that.

In general I'm for much more tolerance and general chill. Perhaps some people have such narrow lives they've never learnt to be forebearing of people who, because of age or a different culture, or whatever "break" their precious (but silly) rules and taboos. Respect goes both ways.

Sankev
I wish I could be with you when some of these women take offence at a lovely expression. Not only would they get the laser stare, verbally I would tell them exactly what they are 😡 and it wouldn’t be pleasant.
I’m reminded of my lovely late Geordie father in law. He called the bedroom the cockloft.
Get the smelling salts out.

No-one's ever called me darling.

Or perhaos they have and I've just never noticed because it didn't matter.