Feeling anxious about husband being misunderstood in the world now controlled by the wokeness police,!!

Baggs

*No-one's ever called me darling.*

Or perhaos they have and I've just never noticed because it didn't matter.

I'm upset because no-one's called me scrumptious.
I'd never thought about it until this thread.

☹

I wonder if the “darling” example is the tip of the iceberg for this OP. Is she worried that he will become over familiar in other ways? Or use embarrassing sexual innuendoes? This can happen with some folks with dementia and would definitely be unacceptable. Perhaps that is where her anxiety lies.

Its unfair that this rolling of eyes gets to innocent people.

Just think they must lead very narrow lives if those things bother them. Always looking to pick others up on minor things.

As many other posters have said, it all depends on the context. I’m called all sorts of things and it’s usually said with a smile so I appreciate it. During lockdown, when so many things were delivered, it was lovely to be called “love” or anything else friendly, that would often be the only person, apart from DH, I spoke to that day.
I think mouthing a short explanation is your best bet OP and it might make the receptionist think. Please don’t worry about it though. Ok, try not to worry about it.

I suspect given the OP’s distress that it’s about more than just calling people darling sometimes - I wouldn’t especially like it, but I’d probably ignore it unless I was feeling harassed. If there are other things though, they need to be addressed.

Respect goes both ways. Says Baggs, quite rightly. But

I would tell them exactly what they are 😡 and it wouldn’t be pleasant says MerylStreep.

I am really confused as to why someone else being "put out" about something causes such anger in grown adults...

Boz

Message withdrawn

It’s appalling but frankly irrelevant too.
This is NOT what OP is talking about and by introducing the memory of an abusive act you are adding a sexual connotation to a completely harmless form of address.
Not helpful.

Well said Foxy

volver3

^Respect goes both ways.^ Says Baggs, quite rightly. But

I would tell them exactly what they are 😡 and it wouldn’t be pleasant says MerylStreep.

I am really confused as to why someone else being "put out" about something causes such anger in grown adults...

Please show from whence you picked up anger in my posts, V. There was none.

Not you Baggs, that's not what I meant. I was trying to say that you expressed the fact that respect goes both ways but the very next post, from someone else, was about a poster aggressively giving somebody a piece of their mind.

Sorry for any confusion.

Ah, thanks.

Thr issue with empathy is that some medical conditions are invisible

Op has expressed people has called him out on his behaviour already so it is in fact a problem

"He’s a lovely gentleman and very friendly and I feel so sorry for him when people don’t react the way he expects."
This is an orange flag - i wonder how he expects people to react that does not match reality

Oh hithere pleeeeeze what a mountain out of a molehill
Poster didn’t say anything about anyone calling him out for him saying darling she mentioned some ‘disapproving responses’ which could have been a raised eyebrow from someone akin to yourself 😂

"Calling a receptionist ‘darling’ ( locally used frequently by older generation) or similar such things. Nothing too terrible but he is beginning to get some disapproving responses."

Too many people are ready with instant outrage over trivia. A bit if commonsense is needed about intergenerational differences.

Hithere

Thr issue with empathy is that some medical conditions are invisible

Op has expressed people has called him out on his behaviour already so it is in fact a problem

"He’s a lovely gentleman and very friendly and I feel so sorry for him when people don’t react the way he expects."
This is an orange flag - i wonder how he expects people to react that does not match reality

i wonder how he expects people to react that does not match reality

🤔
Have you ever cared for a family member whose mental capacity is impaired for some reason?

Aren't you in the USA, Hithere?
Are people less tolerant over there of those less able than themselves?

Foxygloves

Boz

Message withdrawn

It’s appalling but frankly irrelevant too.
This is NOT what OP is talking about and by introducing the memory of an abusive act you are adding a sexual connotation to a completely harmless form of address.
Not helpful.

You are quite right. I made an inappropriate mental leap from the opening post to an unsuitable anecdote. Apologies.

There exist people who don't have much empathy in their make-up. I sometimes wonder if they are the people who take offence the most because they can't imagine possible mitigating circumstances when something bothers them enough to upset or anger them.

Callistemon21

You truly do not know the challenges in my life right now - i would not want my worst enemy to go through them

Do not assume I have no experience in this matter

Thank you Boz

Are you in the US Hithere ?
If not, ignore.

What about the use of “Honey” ?
Is that accepted/acceptable/still in common usage?

I'm in Yorkshire and it's still not that uncommon to get the odd 'love' usually from older people and tbh that annoys me far less than being called 'hun' by someone at least half my age.But as long as they are pleasant and doing their job / trade well I can't get het up about it.There's enough negativity and hostility in the world to get offended by someone who is being friendly and cheerful.

Foxy
I have heard honey, hun - rarely and not tied to any generation

Madam, sir, miss is a little but more common

Forgot - as for acceptable or not, not so much in my circle

I have personally heard it from Southerners - don't want to generalize, just expressing my experience

For guys, bro is used usually when some familiarity exists

I have heard dawg too

I get addressed as "parent of (my kid's name)" if people do not know my name but they know me my child