Mistakes you may have made.

Thank you all so much for reading and contributing.
It is so good to have one’s thoughts listened to and reading advice and suggestions.

I have had a conversation with my GD and she has actually taken on board what I have said.
My S has anxiety and depression and has been off work for 3 months, he is now to start a phased return which will be good for him and for me.
I am putting off the conversation with him for the time being.

I have decided that moving is not an option now.
The house is big enough for us to have our own space and I have plans to convert the dining room into a bedroom for me.
There is a shower room downstairs and I can be self sufficient on one floor.
My bedroom can then be used as a bed sit.

I have plans to go away with my D and adult GC for a week next week.
I had doubts about going but they have assured me I will be totally looked after so I think I shall go,?
I only see them once or twice a year.

Many many thanks to you all.
You have given me a boost to sit down and sort out my mind.

Annsixty. You don't need this love. At your age you should be able to take things easy and try and enjoy your life, not having to worry about and deal with the problems of others. If you want to live in a smaller house then you should tell the others that you are going to sell and move. Tell them that they need to find a permanent home as you can no longer help. I know it's hard but once it has been done you can move forward with your life and hopefully you will be in a much happier place mentally.

annsixty

Thank you all so much for reading and contributing.
It is so good to have one’s thoughts listened to and reading advice and suggestions.

I have had a conversation with my GD and she has actually taken on board what I have said.
My S has anxiety and depression and has been off work for 3 months, he is now to start a phased return which will be good for him and for me.
I am putting off the conversation with him for the time being.

I have decided that moving is not an option now.
The house is big enough for us to have our own space and I have plans to convert the dining room into a bedroom for me.
There is a shower room downstairs and I can be self sufficient on one floor.
My bedroom can then be used as a bed sit.

I have plans to go away with my D and adult GC for a week next week.
I had doubts about going but they have assured me I will be totally looked after so I think I shall go,?
I only see them once or twice a year.

Many many thanks to you all.
You have given me a boost to sit down and sort out my mind.

I'm glad you have made a decision and I bet you are relieved too.

In my opinion, this is a good way forward for you. I am so pleased.

Enjoy your break with D and GC, hopefully all perspectives will be realised. You will be refreshed and revitalised. 💐

Hope you enjoy your break annsixty

AnnSixty, you deserve the break.
Embrace it with all you are and I hope that you return refreshed and revitalised.

You sound like a very lovely supportive and accommodating mother and grandmother, and all having your own and communal areas in your existing home is worth considering.
This has worked well for my brothers and dad over the last few years as dad’s health has declined, and at 96 he has two people who will cook and to a degree keep things clean and tidy, look after the finance’s, wash.

It’s good to read that things might be improving for your son. I hope things start to improve for you too.

Some of the decisions of the past few years weren't yours to make though; covid for one, so don't blame yourself. Everyone is advising selling up and moving to an easier to care for flat, but is it really what you want? It is unwise to make life changing decisions when you are as tired as you sound. What about getting family around the table and tell them how you feel? Three of you live there so between you, the gardening and cleaning can be done, or paid for. It could be that your DGD and your DS are concerned about you but don't wish to hurt or offend you by suggesting you are not coping. It's worth a try? Call a conference over a takeaway .

Totally agree with kitty, you’ve made an excellent decision ann. You’ll have your flat, but in your existing home. Your granddaughter understands, your son will too in time. Enjoy time away with your family and please, let them look after you. X

Thanks for the positive update annsixty. I do hope things go more smoothly for all of you. Multi generational living seems a good option