WANTED staff and punters Argy Bargy under new management

His toad in the hole isn’t much better.!

Quiet in here tonight. Admiral snoring in the corner with May Hem and Dyna, they’ve obviously been hitting the mullet wine.
Thor and Hamish stocking the bar and no one else to be seen.
I’ve been to Bertie the Bashful Butchers for some ground meat to make out sausages with. He was so embarrassed to see me he dropped it all on the floor. Still a bit of sawdust in the mix won’t hurt. He’s getting me a big Turkey from the farm for Christmas and has promised to help me with my stuffing.

Judging by what I've seen today, Doodle, everyone's at M and S.

How can we rival their pulling power?

Perhaps we could open a crêche for the kiddies at the weekend? You know, give the Mums and Dads a break to shop in peace and quiet, safe in the knowledge that little Lilly and Sebastian are being skilfully looked after. Then the grown ups could come back for a swift half festive tipple?

We have animals.
How about a Petting Corner?

I've made some Gingerbread men to dip in the poteen.

M&S …….is that the Massage and Spanking place that’s opened in the high street. I thought they got raided and shut down.

Oh please ixion do not mention petting corner with the Admiral around. He won’t be thinking of fluffy animals. However you could be onto a winning idea.

The llamas could keep the kiddies entertained with rides.
We could invest in a few toys, climbing frame from the hay bales. Slide from the planks of wood in the cellar. Perfect 😊

Oh Pittcity you are awful, but I like you. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

These would go down a storm in 'Kiddies' Korner' Pittcity.
Can you do other fruity numbers?

We can charge more if light refreshments are included 💰.

I thought the Admiral was a fruity number?

It’s a bit early for ‘ likker’ so can I get a please? I like it to be quiet in the morning as I’ve usually got a raging hangover.

Coffee, certainly. We have our new machine all set up and ready. Now if I can just remember which buttons to press……
Is that a latte, flat white, cappuccino, espresso or what? Actually when I’m doing it you get what you get, here it comes 😶‍🌫️

Anyone for a sausage bap?

Small, medium or humongous?

Doodle

Coffee, certainly. We have our new machine all set up and ready. Now if I can just remember which buttons to press……
Is that a latte, flat white, cappuccino, espresso or what? Actually when I’m doing it you get what you get, here it comes 😶‍🌫️

Coffee spelt backwards is eefoc.
Just know that I don't give eefoc until I've had my coffee!!

The typos are because Doodle is taking forever to fire up the machine.....☕

Snot my fault 😡. It’s complicated. Press this, pull that, slide this …..and out comes …….a sausage. 😮

We ordered some outfits for our coffee mornings which should have had Barista printed on them but I forgot the man at the printer's can't spell so we have Barrister on them instead. We've had some odd questions while serving coffee today and an even stranger clientele than usual.

Scuse my absence over the last few days, I had to attend a llama welfare, training and behavioural course
Back now though and ready for action

Ooh brook I am impressed. Did you get a stiff git for passing your course?

They’re all looking so lovely now, they’ve turned over a new leaf and are promising to behave

Oh yes Doodle I certainly did ..

Even Alarma seems quite serene. Has she had therapy?

Er brook are you sure those are our llamas.? Is Alarma on drugs?

Aga, she opted for Slapapuncture instead - seems to have worked wonders 😀

Drugs … ? She assured me she’d only had grass Doodle

They are all so docile and well behaved. It can't last.