WANTED staff and punters Argy Bargy under new management

I’ll have a word with the Finney family see if we can take them through Albert’s hall, I believe the acoustics are good for a bit of a song song

A bit! He pongs more than the llamas. I suggest when brook rounds them up we put them and the Admiral through the sheep dip. We can add in a bit of eu de Brussels to make them smell better.

We could get May Hem to dress up as Nell Gwyn. Basket of oranges (sold at a good profit) and a bit of decollété and Bob's your uncle. Hasn't that posh one with the big house and starff got a spare frock? Seems her style ...

I've asked Nick Stain to come and cook the fish. Maddy has caught some in the pond behind the Argy. The one the llamas like to bask in.

AGAA4

I need some help bringing this big barrel up the cellar steps. The Admiral has put on so much weight and he's downed ten pints of poteen. I would leave him down there but don't want his 'flavour' in the drinks. He does reek a bit

My "friend" will help you AGA.
He's just bought a new kilt from IKEA and is having trouble putting it together.

Ooh la la Pittcity send him round. Sorry Admiral I'm going to be busy.

Out the way AGA cor let me at him

Gee Thanks Roses that’s the llamas all tethered up on the boat now, much better than the train, the Admiral has really come up trumps this time. We’re setting sail soon, should be back before midnight

I’ll make sure I’ve got the sheep dip pit ready for you Brook just herd them all straight in as soon as you’ve got them off the boat. I’ve got May Hem on standby the other side of the pit
Showing off her wares to attract the Admiral. He’ll walk right in without looking where he’s going.
Well done you and Roses for rounding them up

I have lots of spare tassels for anyone who wants the but they are are all attached to my winter vests so you may want to unpick them but I’ve got lots of glue for those who don’t feel the cold
doodle I do not shop atMadam Pom Poms so not interested in her new leather lines I only ever wear premium P V C

The Admiral going into the sheep dip can only be a good thing as he was quite wiffy last time we met .
If the vet comes to check the llamas he needs to not wear that furry hat that he had on last time no wonder the llamas got confused

I’m an expert at putting IKEA kilts together tell him to hang on and I’ll be over

'SERVICE.....perlease'

Good evening bohemian, if it’s servicing you want I’ll summon Thor. Sorry I’m just tangled up in this kilt, phew, hot in here

What I want madam is someone in this evil watering hole to serve me with a round of drinks, something other than llama pee or wrung out sporran

bohemian I detect a person of quality in our midst. One round of poteen coming up………..by round two you won’t care what you’re drinking 🤣

Pittcity got any more …..friends? 😍

Laura is getting to grips with kilt man but can't find his sporran. I will be up to serve at the bar soon as all the other staff are otherwise engaged.

Right! bar...lady?.

I don't like poteen, it looks too much like water. I want 6 pints of Cats Piss lager, 3 triple shots of bent banana cocktail (served in half pint jars with cherries on matchsticks - don't try and fob me off with small tomatoes). On the slate.

I'm at the 2 legged table in the corner

Have skinned the biggest tomatoes on matchsticks for you boheminan. At least I think they’re tomatoes. There are some very strange screams coming up through the floorboards. We've dragged up the Admiral to add the third leg to your table. Enjoy.

🔔bing bong. Ding a ling
Keep an eye on the sprouts, 21 days to go

Oreo of course I have a lovely selection of sparkling dresses. I do insist you wear operating theatre type gloves when handling my clothes but do not worry, everything will be supplied.

The servants' entrance is at the side, you will not miss it and I will make sure that one of my six maids will be there to escort you. I am rather short-staffed, one just cannot find suitable staff.

Right, I’ve tested the sprouts, just as I was directed, bit my teeth into them good and proper, and I can say they will be perfect by Christmas Day. The fish I caught from the pond will be perfect for Nick Stain to cook. I might put a few away though because fermented fish will go very nicely with the sprouts and turkey.
I’ll help you in the bar now then Doodle, hopefully we’ll get a few pints of poteen whilst we’re there.

I’ve come early and I’ve brought my scissors in case any of those young matelots need a trim when they arrive. Can I have the snug for the afternoon please Laura? I’ll clear up afterwards.

It all looked so warm and welcoming last night, from the outside anyway, but there’s a strong smell of last night’s sprouts, or is it the llamas - should we open some windows?

Crumbs Delia you are in early. You’re welcome to the snug I’m sure but you’ll have to out up with the Admiral sleeping off last night’s excesses.
If you come back tonight I will make you one of my new Christmas cocktails. It’s called Rudolph’s Revenge. Very potent, you’ll be flying through the sky(light) in no time. ⚡️