Respect

Wise advice keepingquiet

JenniferEccles

Or maybe some like me are a bit confused by the post.
‘Narc’ First of all I thought it meant the step-father was a drug addict (narcotics) but now I see the abbreviation is for narcisssist.

Yes, I was puzzled and there is not a lot of detail to go on.

I wouldn't advise one way or another about something like that.

Has this man been formally diagnosed as a narcissist? The term is bandied around so much nowadays, it is losing its meaning and impact.

Caleo

Dogsmother wrote:

[Respect is earned. From whoever and personally speaking I don’t really think a child like any other person will give it to anyone who doesn’t earn it."]

I disagree. A younger person should always 'respect' an older person more than his the young person's peers.. By 'respect' I refer to ordinary civilised good manners, but not to unquestioning obedience.

A younger person should always 'respect' an older person more than his the young person's peers
I can't agree, sorry.

Some adults do not deserve respect.

We cannot make an assessment on such little information anyway.

I also agree that respect is earned

But there is a difference between respecting someone and speaking in a respectful manner...

I don't know how old your grandson is or why he is being exposed to this man but I'd this is a situation that can't be reported for whatever reason

I would encourage him to always be the better person, understand that he is a good person who deserves better and work hard towards being self sufficient as soon as possible

Young people brought up by narcissists can be resilient with a good adult role model and he has one in you

I believe that 'elders' are due a certain amount of respect unless they sacrifice it through bad behaviour
Much depends on the age of the young man
Where is his mum in all this?
And his dad?
If the stepfather is a narc then the 'received wisdom' is that he will not and indeed cannot change, and if he is a malignant narcissist he could be dangerous, especially emotionally.
The young man needs protection and support, personally but also professionally, so he can understand and manage the situation. I don't think 'respect' is the most important point, I would put safety ahead of it.

Why should a child be respectful to a narc step person? I find this question a big creepy to say the least. Children are children and they copy off others.

Good luck with that one if you really are dealing with a narcissist

Purplepixie

Why should a child be respectful to a narc step person? I find this question a big creepy to say the least. Children are children and they copy off others.

Taking a new partner when you have children at home is always fraught because the child (whatever age) may be resentful because you broke up with his/her parent. Then you go on to have further children with new partner it gets worse, and it the new partner is hostile makes it worse.

There is no solution other than don’t have a new live in partner until the children have gone, every case is different if it goes wrong it will spoil any new relationship.

To me a narc is someone payed back handlers by the police for information.
As I am always telling the grandchildren, words are important.

Oh yes, often heard on police dramas.