Feeling a bit left out!

It is unfortunate for you that you do not see them as much as you would like, however it is how the parents want it so you must accept that. Once a fortnight seems okay to me, dont forget they have other friends and relatives to see as well as work and other commitments.

If they re very young you may find as they get a bit older you get called on for babysitting duties so don’t worry too much
How new is new ?

BlueBelle, they are 5 and 6 months. I have a great relationship with all the parents, so I know its not personal. Maybe I was expecting too much! We would see them everyday if we could, wouldn't we!

Claradee - once a fortnight is the norm I would say. Do you mean you have twin grandchildren or you have 2 grandchildren by 2 of your children? Regardless, I am sure you will be seeing more of them as they grow older - you will be enlisted for babysitting duties . So don’t fret - xx

I have 2 grandchildren born 7 weeks apart. Just don't want to impose or look like I'm not interested either! It's a juggling act!

I think once a month may be quite often for young parents.

Just wait patiently, all will be well.

ClaraDee

BlueBelle, they are 5 and 6 months. I have a great relationship with all the parents, so I know its not personal. Maybe I was expecting too much! We would see them everyday if we could, wouldn't we!

No!

I never understand those grandparents who want to essentially bring up the grandkids.
Perhaps it is because I had several children myself?

Each to their own though.

Go with the flow it’s an emotional time for all concerned especially for nans and grans. Your time will come just enjoy when it does and it will bring great pride every time ou see your beautiful grandchild💐

No, you're not expecting too much but as you say, it is all new to you and not just you personally. They are new families and there's a lot to navigate.
However, communication is key so why not let the new parents know that you are available to give them a break now and again and would love to see more of them all - they aren't mind readers and might really appreciate some special time knowing that the babies are well looked after.

Never make comparisons with other families, not even those of your friends, In fact never compare with friends.

As others have said, every family is different - and we also get threads on GN from grandmothers struggling because they have to do so much childcare and their grandchildren are with them all the time.

As you say, you have a happy relationship with the parents, and that is the most important thing. You are fotunate that your grandchildren live near enough to see them so frequently. For those of us whose grandchildren live further away, we see our grandchildren a lot less than once a fortnight.

I don't have grandchildren and I'm more than happy with that. I only had one child myself through choice (whom I love dearly) and I am just not baby or child orientated. If I had grandchildren I really wouldn't want to see them every day. I'm too busy with my own life to be honest.

I have a friend who lives only for her grandchildren. It's all she ever talks and thinks about, endlessly. I wonder if this is something of a modern phenomenon because I don't remember grandparents being so obsessive years ago.

Do you keep in touch and see photos via WhatsApp?
They have their own routines and family unit to establish.
As long as they know you're there for them if needed, get on with enjoying your own life and friends is my advice.
We had our time, it's theirs now 😊

We had our time, it's theirs now 😊
This, exactly.

I'm sorry you want more contact. I know fortnightly would work for me.

Enjoy your time as they will soon be grown! Two of mine are already teens and others will have great-grandchildren by now!

Fortnightly sounds about right to me, of course we love our GC but they have parents. Just make it clear you you are available and don't push too hard. You have a sound relationship with both of your children so appreciate that and don't spoil it. The GC are still babies as they get older you may well be asked to do more- you may also hind that very exhausting! Whatever happens you have a lovely family and that is wonderful.

Find not hind !

Of course you want to see these tiny babies as much as possible while they change and develop from week to week. Do your very best to fit in with what their parents are comfortable with. You will have wonderful moments and memories, cherish every one as they grow up so quickly.
The time together and relationships change as the years pass. Today my oldest granddaughter was telling me how mean she and her sister thought I was when they were teenagers. Now they are in their twenties and understand what I was trying to do! She also gave me a great pedicure.

I think you see them a normal amount!
Could you maybe see them on opposite weeks, so you have plans each week?

How often did you see the families prior to pregnancies?

Are they daughters or sons babies and is it a formal arrangement each fortnight at such and such a time ?

My family s much more casual no set rules as to formal visits just pop over when in the area( letting them knew of course) or when convenient or when asked for baby sitting etc

I wouldn’t worry get on wit your own life and be there when needed and my betting is it will increase when they are crawling around to “mum can you spare a couple of hours ?’ Etc etc

flappergirl

I don't have grandchildren and I'm more than happy with that. I only had one child myself through choice (whom I love dearly) and I am just not baby or child orientated. If I had grandchildren I really wouldn't want to see them every day. I'm too busy with my own life to be honest.

I have a friend who lives only for her grandchildren. It's all she ever talks and thinks about, endlessly. I wonder if this is something of a modern phenomenon because I don't remember grandparents being so obsessive years ago.

If you don't have grandchildren then you can't say say how often you would want to seecthem....you have never experienced that love that is having a grandchild...different to the love you feel for your children .....there is only your own normal...I see my GC at least 4 times a week....that is my normal.....i was busy with my own life ....still working full time , then I became a grandparent.....I don't need to see my 3 every day .....but I certainly think about them every day....I wouldn't call myself obsessive

As with so many things, it's quality not quantity that counts.

Just take what you are given with regards to visiting times and, as far as possible, spend any time you have with the grandchildren without distraction and watching and listening attentively to them. Keep the relationship to your children and their spouses as amicable as it already is, and be open, honest and not intrusive with your comments.

I have sons, so I'm MIL, which is why I'm trying to be sensitive about the whole issue. Its not a formal arrangement, it just seems to have fallen into this routine. I haven't asked for more visits because they have lots if other people in there lives. I do have my own life: lunch with friends, hobbies, holidays etc. I think I just want to cherish every minute I can with them. I'm sure I'll be babysitting soon!! Thank you for all your valuable advice x

*their

When I was very young (4-10) I saw my grandmother once a month because that was all the time that was the available for someone to take me. Once I grew old enough to make my own way it was about every two weeks.

It would seem to me once a month is reasonable for young children if their parents or grans have to travel. People lead much busier lives nowadays than when I was a child.

I think I saw my grandmother fairly often because she was lonely after her husband died and my parents used to collect her and bring her to our house because they felt sorry for her.

I truly loved her (she taught me to read) and I know I was precious to her - but am aware that she was sometimes brought to us because they felt they should. They were very kind and considerate parents but my mum worked and my father only had Sunday off work...

I don't really want to be included because people think they should include me. On the other hand, demonstrating a life of kindness and generosity is no bad thing!