Scared of the motorway

Bump

OP please don’t be embarrassed, if you don’t do something regularly then it does become scary . I disagree with those saying choose a non motorway route or take a coach or train . At only 62 I think you need to face your fears . And you can do it. Go early and stick to the nearside lane . Get Waze on your phone as it much more user friendly than google maps . It shows you which lane you need to get into and turn the volume up high . Check your route before you travel and check the exit numbers . I actually prefer long distance driving by myself as there’s no distractions and if I make a wrong turn or wrong exit, it’s not a big deal .
I agree with a few short breaks , Grab a coffee , use the loo .
Do you have any motorways near you that you could have a trial run?
I’m 64 and motorways don’t bother me. I live not far from the M25 and have to use it a lot to get anywhere in the uk.
I tune into a radio station and sing along , which is actually great for releasing tension .
Good luck and you can do it x

Can you go with someone else, just for a short trip? Obviously not the sort of person who’s going to natter non stop and distract you - just someone who can say e.g. ‘Exit coming up in a couple of miles, perhaps move into the left hand lane soon…’.

I’m sure you’d soon realise that motorways are not as scary as you thought. (I’d still advise avoiding the M25 in the rush hour though - alas it’s one I need to use now and then.)

I akways dislike joining a motorway in this country. When we lived in The Netherlands the traffic always allowed courteously allowed alternate cars to join. I coped with this as previous poster said by being sure I was fully up ro speed and then it is easy to tuck into a space

However, having been a passenger in a friend's car when she was side swiped by a foreign lorry on the M1, I panic on motorways these days. We mow travel on A roads, finding them more interesting. We went all the way from Hertfordshire to Wales, mostly on the A5 and treated the journey as part of the holiday. When one is retired, time is less important and the slow lane is pleasant. We have a satnav but OH hates it so I do as we always have, map read. I love maps! A couple of Ludites but happy. I no longer drive as my sight is so poor. I wish that I could.

I regularly drove from Cumbria to Wiltshire until I was 80, then I lost confidence too.
I'm 85 and will not use motorways again.
I know we've all lost confidence in the railways, but when they were running properly I used them regularly via Euston, across London to Waterloo and then across country to Wiltshire.
Depending on where you're going, Bristol may be your first destination.
Easy.
(but couldn't take much baggage as I had to carry it myself)
A bus takes all day, 12hrs plus!

We do long trips quite often and I think trying to drive a long distance without using motorways would be a mistake. IMO, it’s harder to find your way along single carriageway roads with no designated stopping areas, through towns and alongside motorists who know their own area well than it is to use a motorway.

M-ways are well signposted, there’s more room in the lanes and one can drive at a relatively low speed if desired. Don’t worry about turning off at a wrong exit, there’s almost always a chance to easily get back onto the m/way.

Service stations vary in standard but I think most have a basic offering of Starbucks/Costa/Greggs so you can pick up a sandwich and a drink and take some time out to stretch your legs. I’d only stop once on a six hour trip but two is reasonable if you’re not used to driving such distances.

Whilst I share a dislike of Smart motorways, remember, that statistically, motorways are the safest roads to drive on in the UK, accounting for only 5% of fatal casualties.

Good luck!

Just bumping

I dislike motorways, especially joining them. I am always afraid I will miss a car approaching and lam straight into it!

Having spent many years working for a brain injury service did not help - many of our patients were the victims of car accidents.

I find that a good SATNAV will get me anywhere I need to drive. Exit junction numbers, the lane to select, which junction from a roundabout off the motorway you need to look for, the nearest service station etc.- they are all there. If you go wrong the SATNAV will either show/tell you where you can turn (usually the nearest roundabout) or tell you how to get back on your route although that can sometimes be 'interesting'!

I put my destination into the SATNAV the day before and check the suggested routes for ease and time. I can even navigate to my exact destination using coordinates if it is way out in the country - coordinates are on Google maps if you look beforehand.

However, I often use Google Maps on my phone when a passenger and think it is very useful. I wonder if those who use a phone have a proper holder for it. It needs to be sited where the driver can see and hear it without looking away from the windscreen in front. A phone call or message at the wrong moment can be distracting and the view on the screen of your journey disrupted. Also, you must never hold a mobile phone while driving.

A 6 hour drive is far too long without stopping and definitely not advised. (I know I couldn't do it without a toilet break.) DH's car monitors the way he drives and will tell him he needs a break (Big Brother going a bit far - but it picks up on tell-tale signs of driver fatigue).

You are a competent and able driver, if you are well prepared and plan ahead and trust your planning, your fear of motorways should diminish when you have to concentrate on driving. Your fears are understandable but I think I would try and conquer them otherwise you may find that driving on parts of ordinary roads will become your next fear.

It is wrong (IMHO) that new drivers are allowed on motorways without any practical tuition and I think after passing the driving test, an hours lesson, given by a professional, should be compulsory.

The week after I passed my test I had a two hour motorway lesson.
We got on at our local junction, J10, and got off and back on again at every junction down to J1 then did the same in reverse.
My instructor, who had taught me to drive, kept up a running commentary the whole time:
"Look at this idiot"
"What does he think he's playing at?"
"At least when he's in front of you, you can see what he's up to"
"Good grief"
And so on and so on...
By the time we got back I was a nervous wreck 😳

there is only one way to get confidence doing anything and that is to keep doing it.

With driving I think you can very quickly lose your 'eye' for judging situations and distances, and that can lead to feeling fearful. The solution is to keep driving as often as possible on as wide a range of roads as possible.

The OP should build up to her long journey. Start by taking her car out everyday and driving on her nearest motorway, for 30 minutes or so. After a week or so, it will all become familiar, you will get your eye in and you can start planning your journey.

It’s not the motorway I dread, (slow lane for me), it’s exiting the junction and driving the A roads to get to my destination.

crazyH the only way to get over the dread is to keep doing it until you become fully familiar with it.

You’re right of course Monica but when you have an unfamiliar road or one thats had the layout changed or diversions for roadworks, it’s easy to misinterpret signage and get in the wrong lane.
As we get older our reaction time does slow down and we rely a lot on automatic response, in unfamiliar surrounding that doesn’t work.

My husband recently retired from flying after 40yrs, never had an accident as far as I know, I was surprised and asked why. - I was making too many wrong decisions, too many “why did I do that” occasions, flying you have to be self critical, nobody else can see you. Being very experienced I was into the automatic response to everything but when something unexpected happened I was making wrong decisions.

If you play Golf it doesn't matter Flying or Driving it does

Is Leonoral reading any of these replies?

So true Mr.Katie59
I wish everyone was self critical.
I think I am more so these days.

...maybe that's why the OP is anxious about the motorway. .. perhaps those who say give it ip ate right.

ExDancer

Is Leonoral reading any of these replies?

Probably already got there!

Seriously you do need to be confident wherever you drive, even if it’s a mobility scooter, know when to say enough

Exactly

I am 67, been driving for 47 years. I hate motorways and will not drive on them unless absolutely forced to. In the last 4 years I have only driven on a motorway twice. If I was you I would find an alternative way to travel. I think anyone who is nervous on the motorway is a hazard to themselves and everyone else. But good luck whatever you do.

Should there be a thread etiquette where the OP comes back to acknowledge the replies, tell us perhaps what she has decided and bring the thread to a close?

This is a very long journey especially on your own. I would pack light and take the train and get someone to pick me up from the nearest station. Even an arduous journey with several changes, would be preferable for me personally.

Since I broke my arm and had it (eventually) repaired by the NHS 13 months later, I have been very dubious about driving on motorways or bypasses... The big lorries go by so fast and when it is raining I can't see out of the windscreen from the spray that send up. I'm only 74 and my Dad drove into his 80s without any problems. Maybe as I spent such a long time not driving due to the broken arm delay I have lost my confidence.

I live n Wiltshire and seldom use motorways, though weirdly feel more comfortable going up north to Yorkshire than going towards the south of the country (homing pigeon mode perhaps?)
Sat nav’s are very useful but I always keep and A-Z in the car and a list of major towns I’ll need to pass through/by
If you do have a sat nav and you have the option select shortest route to your destination this will take you via the A roads where possible avoiding motorways and tends to be a much more pretty and rural route

If you really dislike motorways (as I do too) why not wait till the railways are not on strike and go by train? Don't put yourself through an ordeal - and thinking about driving back again might spoil your break. Or how about a coach? They are extremely comfortable these days and reasonably priced.

Is it 6 hours with a break? I've done 4 hours mainly motorways but after that time definitely needed a break to stretch, drink, and use toilet. I'm okay on motorways/new to me roads but 6 hours is too long. Use a sat nav with voice. Even if you do go wrong, don't panic, sat nav should get you back on the correct route.