Fewer friends now older

Since my DH died 4 years ago, I don't see his friends who I had thought were also mine apart from one who I invite to dinner once a week. He is also on his own.

I think on the whole, when you are widowed, couples stop inviting you out so that reduces the friend pool. 😒

It's OK just to have one or two close friends. I often think I have to be proactive and do the asking and don't always feel like doing that.

How I agree! In the last three years I have lost not only DH but my closest friend and the two couples with whom we shared so much. As was observed, elderly widows do not appear high on other people’s agenda and it takes a lot of work to have any kind of social life if there is no local family. I don’t think there is any magic bullet for this one.

I understand the part about having long standing friends as one of my most long standing friendship was made when our children started school together 45 years ago.

Because we lived on the same road, in the same village and near the same small town we just got each other.

We had shorthand. She knew that if I mentioned going round our tiny Waitrose trying to avoid a mutual acquaintance, I would need a cup of tea and a reminiscing session.

I miss her terribly since she died but we have to keep going.

I value the connections I have made
on GN - the people I have met and
those I haven't.

Most of my friends throughout have been life long single. It has never stopped us socialising with them, severally or together. Several are now widows, it would never occur to us either together, or individually to see them less.

I find the idea of people not seeing friends because they are a widow or widower, most bizarre.

It's probably not deliberate M0nica but it certainly happens. I was quite hurt when I discovered that my DF still went to the meetups. I had thought they had stopped during
covid but infact they had restarted - without me!

We found that when we moved away from our home town new opportunities opened up. We have been here a few years now. Most friendships are developed through our hobbies and activities we find. They’ll never be the same as the old friends known for 40 years but it’s still nice to get to know new people. We have had one or two mishaps where people have not been as nice as first appeared but in the main we’ve been lucky.

Couldn't agree more woodenspoon. I would add that most of our long term friends are not local to us now, so our move will actually facilitate seeing some of them.

One of the factors in choosing precisely where we are moving to, was the opportunities in our new location to pick up our usual hobbies and activities to start building new social net works.

Whose for a GN meet-up in St Neots in the autumn?!!

MOnica, I would meet up in St Neots in the autumn. I live approx 15 miles away. Just let me know when and where.

I have a few good friends who have been a great support since l became a widow. I have a friendship with another GN.
We speak weekly, online and have met up. I hope she realises how special she is.

Maya1, that is great! We put in an offer on a house in St Neots yesterday, so I expect we will move in late July/August, and, as I said need to build new friendship networks

I too have friends where I live now that I met through GN and I will be vey sorry to leave them.

Hardly any family left. Many friends and family in my case didn't make it to 60 let alone retirement. I'm fortunate I have former colleagues I meet ( though one of those died two years ago). Sadly, after bad experiences with former neighbours, I'm pleasant but good fences make good neighbours in my opinion. Yes, I'm grateful for my husband, family and the few friends I do have. It's so difficult as you get older. I also have health issues so don't always feel like going out.

Monica I would also be interested in coming along to St. Neots in the Autumn.

I think social life is much more difficult if you are disabled.

Several of my friends have died. But I have got to know new people. A group of us always meet up now for coffee and chat after our Tai Chi classes and some of my art group meet up at local exhibitions, so I do have people to talk to.