Christmas presents..

PS I always ask what GD would like for her gifts, usually red patent Doc Martins for Xmas and money for her birthday these days. when she come in school holidays I do a lot of crafts with her, we have a good bond. I can't fill her up with chocolate as she is diabetic. When I ask if I can buy her something when we go shopping we usually says 'no thankyou grandma'

So very many children these days have for too many things. At Christmas, they are unable to fully appreciate the surfeit of games and toys, etc that they often get given. Love is never bought this way. Perhaps it is a good time to start to teach those very fortunate children about others - who are so much less fortunate. May not be so exciting, but payment go a charity in the child's name - can be very rewarding for all concerned.

Hi Maggie. Well now perhaps your Elf is different to the one I have heard about ...

First I think the Elf on the Shelf is a.n.other Christmas excess if he brings a pre-Christmas gift each day which seems to be the case in households I know of.

Secondly, if you really think about it, would you want your behaviour to be 'monitored' for a whole month? Why put this on a child?This again seems a bit much.

Thirdly, I know of parents who feel under pressure for Elf to be up to something new everyday and again, this just adds in a pressure.

(Sorry Elf, nothing personal yer know! )

Ah, I think you're talking about the official American Elf, Imperfect. I wouldn't have him in the house, he sounds like a right little horror!

No, we've just pinched the idea. Our Elves turn up on 1 December, and do naughty things every night until Christmas while the children are asleep. There's no behaviour monitoring going on and certainly no extra gifts! I bought them for about a fiver (having given up on the idea of making them for less!).

There are hundreds of easy ideas online for what they can do - as simple as drawing moustaches on Mum and Dad's wedding photo with marker pen (on top of the glass, of course!), messing about in the jewellery box or getting locked outside the patio door, so they're clamouring to get in in the morning.

You'd like him really - he's a good laugh!

Cooo - sounds like this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship - and after all, Elf is a favourite 'C' film...

Well you have the perfect name for an Elf friend, Imp.

Recently someone on Facebook was asking mum's how much they spent on their children's Christmas presents. The answers were in the region of £500 - £700 each child. To say I was stunned was an understatement. It seems now to be some sort of competition and totally extravagant.

When my dc were small we did the 12 days of Christmas. Open big present Christmas day and then a present every day for the next 11 days. They had small presents and bits and pieces they would need anyway in Christmas stockings from Santa eg slippers, PJ's, new torch, pens etc. I am only supposed to buy dgs 1 or 2 presents but he also likes zoo or sea-life tickets which don't take up room in house so they are acceptable. My adult dc still like their stockings though.

We have always had stockings- filled with 'useful' things, a few sweet treats and something 'funny.' There is usually also a main gift and maybe three smaller things under the tree. We all say we like the stockings best year by year- contents can range from 10p - £2.50 and a lot come from charity shops. It is such a lot of fun to put them together - and they are wrapped up in the paper scraps left over from the year before. A 'big gift' might cost up to £30.

I don't think it is lots of presents that spoil children - they need to be taught to appreciate things and take time to enjoy each present. We have always had someone designated as 'postie' and everyone watches everyone else open their gifts from under the tree. We don't do it all in one go so it is spread out through the day and time in between given to appreciating what is already in hand.

It does bug me when you see children having a 'free for all' and discarding what they have just opened in their excitement to get to the next present.

Must go - I have got to polish my Grumpy Old Woman badge ...

Oh, dear, Imperfect, I need the Grump-Old badge polish after you, please!

I am horrified by so much of what is on this thread!

I don't have the money to spend a lot, and have stopped all presents except for DD and DSiL, which have a mutual tight spending limit on them. DGS has one present which stays at my house. He will have loads from their large family, and as he has a birthday soon after Christmas, the rest of the year can be a drought after the Christmas flood. His parents try to squirrel some presents away for later in the year, but of course those sending gifts want photos of them being played with now. How unreasonable we all are.

I buy small presents on his half-year-birthday anniversary, to spread things out.

So much of what is given as the 'inexpensive' presents for children is tat, which breaks and causes disappointment and ends up in landfill. Why do we need so much Stuff?! And a lot of the gifts requested by people's DGC is amazingly expensive — in the hundreds of pounds! What are the lessons we are passing on by this?

I am not religious, but surely the point of Christmas or the other midwinter celebrations is not to overwhelm our children with greed? Or am I missing the point somehow?

Move over, Mr Scrooge, I need to sit down next to you...

Am at DD2's at the mo. She is expecting her second baby end Nov/beg Dec. I've suggested to her to get her act together and post new baby cards with Christmas cards. Also that we stop buying adult's presents-and she agreed! Yay! DD1's youngest told me a while ago she had 17 gifts on her list! I told her straightaway that that was greedy! We DO have a good and close relationship btw and see her most days. It will make her think I hope!
A group of 4 friends pool some money-about £5 each-and purchase a charity item. Less landfill and doing good.
Pushed the boat out last year as two close nephews and our DD2 had all moved house so bought them a twinned toilet.