We have 4 DSs. Two are abroad.
The other 2 live locally, within 5-10 minutes.
After many years of me hosting, my eldest DIL started to host, mainly to keep dgc happy in their own home. We and DILs parents have been invited for several years. (DILs parents have 24/7 commitments all year and usually manage to get a couple of hours to call and have dinner)
This year DILs parents have suggested they might like to host for DIL and her siblings, committments permitting. This would not include us.
DILs parents give us a farm turkey/goose.... whatever, each year.
Our youngest DS and wife usually host DILs parents and they stay over. DS asked us what we were doing at Christmas. I told him maybe at other DILs, maybe not, nothing confirmed yet. Youngest DS says Well if not there, bring 2 chairs and a trifle and come to us.
It's still vague.
Noone is offended.
Since we ceased hosting Christmas Day - Usually we have open house on Boxing Day. Whoever wants calls in and this includes some sisters n law, a few nephews etc.
I roast on Boxing morning, serve the turkey (carved), stuffing, tiny sausages/bacon, make baby potato salad, a couple of nice breads. A couple of trifles. All laid on the dining table as a buffet. A black bin bag on the kitchen door for rubbish. I've been known to use decent disposable plates. We have a few bottles but really anyone wanting alcohol, bring your own.
Food available from about 4pm, come when you want, or don't want. The food available won't spoil.
Usually we end up with 12 or 14, and sometimes a random relation/friend tags along, plenty of kids. I don't bother to clean especially beforehand and just make sure the bathroom is looking good and a bedroom to throw coats into.
Plenty of leftovers for a few days.
I hope we can continue like this, i.e. go with the flow.
I trying to expect not too much and it usually works out ok.