The Gransnet Virtual Christmas party 2020 with Ensure NutriVigor

Or the dyslexic who didn’t believe in Dog?

My cat, Milford, has the right idea! I wish a lovely, relaxing and safe Christmas to all Gransnetters - thanks for keeping me almost sane as I try to look after kids and my Mum.

I would like to contribute Christmas Crackle Cookies which my grandson and I made on Wednesday. They are crispy on the outside and filled with gooey chocolate goodness in the middle!

Merry Christmas to you all Xx

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

This....

Thought this was unusual although I would need a lot of patience !
Merry Christmas to you all

Situpstraight2

A rude one, so don’t read if easily offended and it’s only vaguely Christmassy.

Guy walks into a bar on Christmas Eve, with 2 gifts, gets talking to the barman and tells him that he’s dating a twin and there is a gift for each of them.

Wow, says the barman how do you tell them apart.

Well, says the guy, Lucy wears blue nail varnish.

And Bob has a D**k.

Very funny. Should have seen that one coming! But shouldn't it be that the guy said he was dating 2 twins? A happy safe and praceful Christmas to every Gransnetter (specially those who will be spending it alone) and all good wishes for the new year. Hopefully it will be a much better one for us all.

Happy Christmas everyone. ?

What did the biscuit say when it got run over?

Oh crumbs!

I've just made a batch of mince pies with homemade mincemeat. Still warm from the oven...any takers???

Why does Santa have 3 gardens.
So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.

who delivers presents to sharks at christmas ? santa jaws

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

"Bison"

Merry Christmas everyone!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas quacker.

How do you cook sausages at Christmas? Cook pigs in electric blankets!

Seasons greetings to you all, stay safe and keep healthy.
Why couldn't Mary and Joseph join their work conference call?
Because there was no Zoom at the inn.

Why does Santa have 3 gardens? ............because he likes to Hoe, Hoe, Hoe! groan

JdotJ. Still laughing ?

Whats a Duck's favourite snack?

Cheese and quackers!

What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Can you smell carrots?

What do you call a snowman in summer? Puddle.
It's Christmas the time for bad jokes, happy Christmas folks.

Virtual mince pies ready and waiting

Lets pull a cracker

Why won't Santa lose any presents this year? He's downloaded Sack and Trace.

Dominic Cummings' favourite carol? - Driving home for Christmas...

My fave Christmas joke...

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.' The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said. 'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said. The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.' Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'. The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?' The Irishman replied, 'These are Carol's'

Told OH to pick up some frozen yogurt on the way home.

<---- Stupid idiot