Feeling guilty as friend will be alone at Christmas

Couild you make time to give her a ring on christmas day so that she has someone to speak to. Actually speaking to someone is much more personal than emails or whatever else and perhaps organise before this to have a trip out or lunch together at another time.

I've only spent Christmas day alone once and that was in the pandemic when my trip to my DD in Scotland had to be cancelled as we were only allowed one day together. DS and his family were living abroad, so we had a zoom lunch together. Unfortunately my technology failed and by the time I'd got it working my dinner had gone cold!

I knew someone locally who I thought would be alone and asked her what she was doing as I thought I could cook her a meal and take it round as I knew she had limited cooking facilities. Turned out she had been invited somewhere - not sure if it was allowed under covid rules - but she turned up on Christmas eve with a 'reduced ready meal roast dinner' thinking I didn't have any Christmas food! She had completely got the wrong end of the stick. She couldn't use the food herself as she only has a hob to cook on - no oven or microwave - but I couldn't use it ether as I'd bought Christmas food for myself. All very embarassing!

Actually being alone wasn't as bad as I'd expected, though I did have a good cry when I found out the trip to Scotland was off. DS had sent a hamper to DD's address for us to share for Christmas so DD had to consume it all alone! I seem to remember she kept me a few treats which would still be in date when we were eventually able to get together.

I'm sure your friend will appreciate a call or zoom session and the rest of the day she can do whatever she likes.

I'd be with my family on Christmas day, and invite my friend for dinner on boxing day, as she's recently widowed she might not feel like being with a lot of people on Christmas day.

Well, you could ask maybe - but for all anybody knows her late husband may have been a tyrant to live with and she might relish Xmas on her own!

People put on their "Public Relations" persona when need be, but the nice net curtains can hide a totally different world......

NotSpaghetti

I would try to find a way to take her. I would expect my family to say yes, she should come.

She might not like to be seen as the ‘poor old thing’ who needs to be invited out of pity.

I thought I would invite her out of friendship.

We do things for people we love even if it puts us out a bit.

I have spent many Christmas days alone it's preferable to accepting pity invites and being the spectre at someone else's feast or having to slap on a fake smile and be jolly

GrauntyHelen that's your choice. I'm pleased you are happy with it but the worst that could happen is that someone might just invite you out of friendship. ...then you can just say "no, thank you I'm happy on my own".

No harm done, surely.
Why assume it's a pity invite?