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Daughter needs help with young children

(77 Posts)
Tedd1 Fri 27-Mar-20 15:19:22

My daughter has just messaged me to say she's ill with a cold, headache and exhaustion. Her husband ( works in the NHS ) due to go back to work tomorrow. She has two children age 3 and 2 months. Am I allowed to go and help her.
I am 66 with no underlying health conditions ( neither does my husband) ?
Would appreciate your views

Scentia Fri 27-Mar-20 15:22:28

If it was me, I would go help her, but I would stay there for the 14 days as part of the family/household. I wouldn’t take anything back and forward if it was me. Disclaimer: I am not a health professional.

EllanVannin Fri 27-Mar-20 15:30:06

No. Much as I sympathise with your situation. You don't have to have underlying health problems to catch this virus.

Iam64 Fri 27-Mar-20 15:31:37

If her symptons could be the virus, her husband should be staying home for 14 days anyway

As you aren't in a high risk group you could go but you'd have to stay there 14 days. good luck

Wibby Fri 27-Mar-20 15:39:29

As much as you want to help I would say its too risky, you dont need to have underlying health conditions to catch the virus!

Hithere Fri 27-Mar-20 15:40:23

I wouldn't risk it

Wibby Fri 27-Mar-20 15:40:47

rafichagran Fri 27-Mar-20 15:43:10

I think her husband should stay at home. She may or may not have the virus.

Oopsadaisy3 Fri 27-Mar-20 15:43:26

What if the you are carrying the virus, but not showing any symptoms yet?
Your DD might even have it!

So many Grans on here asking if they should go and help out,


What is so difficult about the information that is on every page, every TV Channel every Newspaper ?

Feelingmyage55 Fri 27-Mar-20 15:51:21

Could you go and help her, and stay for several weeks, meanwhile her husband go and live in your house? He could and should isolate now but could do it there and then return to work and if willing live at yours for several weeks. I know other families who are doing this.

Feelingmyage55 Fri 27-Mar-20 15:52:54

Personally I wouldn’t risk it but it is an option at some point in the isolating process.

Tangerine Fri 27-Mar-20 16:16:48

No, I would not go in your position.

Eglantine21 Fri 27-Mar-20 16:48:13

Forgive me if Im wrong but isn’t she displaying corona virus symptoms? So if you go and risk it you must stay.
Why was her husband away from work? Did he have symptoms?

MiniMoon Fri 27-Mar-20 17:40:47

According to government guidelines, if your daughter is displaying any of the covid 19 symptoms the whole family should isolate themselves for 14 days.
You should not go anywhere near.

Ilovecheese Fri 27-Mar-20 17:48:36

What about if you went to help her , caught the virus yourself with worse symptoms than your daughter? She would then be left looking after her children and yourself while not feeling very well herself. Perhaps better for everyone if you follow the official rules and stay at home.

Iam64 Fri 27-Mar-20 18:07:19

Sorry I wasn't clear in my earlier post. I meant that as she is showing symptoms that could be the virus, her husband can't go to work and should stay to care for her and the children - 14 days minimum

Daisymae Fri 27-Mar-20 19:14:06

So her husband is there to look after your daughter and the children? There would not seem to be any point, in fact it would be reckless to go and expose yourself to the virus and all that entails. Under other circumstances of course you would go, but we have been told to stay at home and save lives.

watermeadow Fri 27-Mar-20 19:19:12

Children are super-spreaders so you would be at risk. We don’t suddenly become vulnerable the day we turn 70.
Stay away, your daughter will cope as mothers do.

GrannyLaine Fri 27-Mar-20 19:22:34

The message is so clear: stay away to help the NHS and to save lives.
But it is so hard and I sympathise. One of my daughters has had some pretty awful news today and under normal circumstances, I would have called in with flowers a long hug and a listening ear. My heart breaks but we have to do the right thing.

pinkwallpaper Fri 27-Mar-20 19:26:56

I feel for you but when most of us look back we had to look after young children , three under three in my case while husband went to work and no family support. Plus feeling ill . Not Cv but colds, sinusitis and mastitis. I had them all

Tedd1 Fri 27-Mar-20 23:17:29

Thanks for all your comments. I think I was just panicking. It's a no brainer!

tiredoldwoman Sat 28-Mar-20 04:25:06

I think that it's her husband who should stay at home , all under isolation .
I've been helping out my daughter , as per usual , with dashes with toilet rolls , cash etc in emergencies that this virus has created .
I'm going again tomorrow as it's a birthday . There's 5 kiddies in the house , no daddies, no other grandparents in contact just this old loving donkey .
We're all well but if one of them contracts the virus I will happily square my shoulders and move in with them .
Love is the drug .

tiredoldwoman Sat 28-Mar-20 04:28:26

Please don't attack me as I know you will .
We've all got our reasons and needs .
Love to all .

Txquiltz Sat 28-Mar-20 05:27:10

Since hubby is with NHS he may have colleagues with spouses at home that might lend a hand. The 3 year old might go for a "play date" while infant stays with mom. I am assuming she is nursing. Protect yourself...a sick grandmother would be bad for all of you. This silly little virus is one mean enemy to everyone. Best wishes.

EthelJ Sat 28-Mar-20 09:10:14

I know how you feel. I ache to help my daughter too because I know she is struggling and she looked exhausted when I saw her on face time. But really you can't go. It sounds as though she should skeg isolate and so should her husband. Chances are it will just be a cold but it might not be an did her husband works in tbs NHS he could pass it onto vulnerable people