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Tonight I lost it and just wept ....

(107 Posts)
cupcake1 Tue 12-May-20 20:39:38

I’ve always had an optimistic outlook and ‘stiff upper lip’ but tonight watching the news I burst into tears. The news was no better or worse than before but I think it was a mixture of emotion and fear for the future. I am beyond furious that primary school children will be allowed back to school next month, key workers children being the exception. My dear GD who is taking GCSE’s next year should be amongst the first to return. I know this virus will eventually pass although not for the foreseeable future, but at what cost? Already the number of deaths are staggering, how many more lives will be lost? I miss the closeness and interaction with family and friends and ‘normality’ of life. I think the recent easing of lockdown has panicked me somewhat and I’m scared of the inevitable rise in cases. Sorry, I feel completely out of control at the moment and that is not like me at all! sad

Arry Wed 13-May-20 09:52:46

Thankyou Ginny. I worry about my two daughters, both nurses, one works in A+E they other in intensive care, both have young children

Coco51 Wed 13-May-20 09:53:03

For me it was seeing the three year old whose care-worker mum died. It’s just tragic and I wonder how many little ones will find themselves without a parent

Gelisajams Wed 13-May-20 09:54:54

Thanks for the poem ginny I’ve saved it to my iPad notes for when I need it! I think many of us have wobbles on a regular basis at the moment.?

Givemestrength Wed 13-May-20 09:58:11

Virtual hug to you all. Try not watching the news or just a brief summary every couple of days. It's mostly conjecture anyway.

Smileless2012 Wed 13-May-20 10:00:41

I hope you're feeling a little better today cupcakeflowers.

Thank you for sharing the poem ginny, it's lovelysmile.

We're the same Givemestrength it all gets too much otherwise doesn't it.

Taliya Wed 13-May-20 10:00:55

It's probably best not to watch the news anymore as it probably is making you feel worse about everything. I think the Government are allowing primary school children back to school first as small children under 10 are at the lowest risk of getting Corona virus seriously but they can still be super spreaders of the virus??!!. I think many people feel anxious at the moment and now with lockdown measures relaxed most people know there will be a second wave. The best way to deal with it is not watch the news and try and enjoy the small pleasures in life. At least summer is nearly here and the weather is warm, sunny and blue skies.

Delene100 Wed 13-May-20 10:09:17

The transport worker's death was murder, in my eyes. So sad. Hope the perpetrator is caught. RIP dear lady.

polnan Wed 13-May-20 10:14:29

I agree Delene100 . murder and should be charged as such..
we are too soft on law/rule breakers.
I count myself feeling better, if I have a day when I don`t cry...
just saying..

but it somehow does help to know that I am not alone with this crying...

Nandee Wed 13-May-20 10:14:42

I also lost it and wept last night after talking to my daughter who is expecting twins in the next few weeks, she is terrified that if she gets ill she may not be able to see them if they are premature. Last time she was pregnant her dad/my husband was dying of pancreatic cancer and it was really difficult. I sooo want to give her a hug and reassure her. It is so difficult for so many of us. Sending love and hugs to all you need them. XX

edsnana Wed 13-May-20 10:16:17

I lost it last week after a phone call from a friend who lives 200 miles away. She and her husband live about 15 miles from my daughter so when we visit her we try to see our friends too. Friend is in her 70s and husband in his 80s with parkinsons and other health issues. She ended the conversation, which had been fairly upbeat with, "I wonder if we'll ever see each other again" . I think we're all doing as well as we can, but every now and again it really hits home

4allweknow Wed 13-May-20 10:16:25

I have heard of several instances of people being spat at during the current situation. Almost makes you want to wear a camera when out. Yes new freedoms have been put in place and it won't be long to see the results whether good or bad. I too can't see how the schools will be able to accommodate the distancing with children. Yes children do not seem to succumb easily, they are though fantastic vessels for transmitting the virus. Watched what schools have done in Denmark, very much doubt ours can do the same, we just don't have the space or normally the weather. I do have concerns mainly for my family with the changes. I will be sticking to lockdown as we know it for a while yet. Most will be having some anxiety - it's the changes and the unknown.

Brightphoebus Wed 13-May-20 10:19:24

I look with envy at countries such as Greece where they dealt with the virus so well. Normal life is resuming there. I am furious that our government’s incompetence has left us with so many dead, so many still to die, and months - maybe years - before we can hold our grandchildren again.

Purplepixie Wed 13-May-20 10:22:35

I know just how you feel as I get days like this yet I am always such a positive person. When the lockdown started I was so positive and it didn’t faze me one bit yet now I feel like having a good cry every day. DH does our shopping once per week and I do all of the cooking. My youngest son works from home and he is such a positive person that he is a joy to be around, so I try not to get upset when he is downstairs. These are unprecedented times and we mustn’t be hard on ourselves but it isn’t easy. Sending you love and hugs and try and stay strong. Xxxx

Barbs123 Wed 13-May-20 10:23:24

I understand the tears etc but try living in a backwater like Northern Ireland.Nobody in our so called government capable of making a decision.Told what is going to happen to allow us to move forward but cannot tell us when.We are all going to go stir crazy.Rebellion is in the air

sarahellenwhitney Wed 13-May-20 10:23:36

Understandable but I imagine many feel the same with Corona as many felt when in 1939 it was announced 'the world was at war'.
Stay positive, FOLLOW the rules we made it then we will make it again.

coast35 Wed 13-May-20 10:27:47

Beautiful, practical poem Ginny, thank you.

TrendyNannie6 Wed 13-May-20 10:28:11

I think it’s normal to feel as you do, absolutely no need to apologise , the worlds turned upside down for the foreseeable future, and with so many idiots about it’s terrifying, spitting on people I just can’t get my head round it, there are no words

25Avalon Wed 13-May-20 10:30:35

I too lost it yesterday and today after doing so well. I guess it was the slight lifting. Makes you wonder when we will be free again. I think a lot of people will suffer mental health issues. My dh is still working from home so gets crotchety if I interrupt. He does nothing to help round the house, not even
to make a cup of tea - I was seriously going to leave him until he had major heart surgery 5 years ago and I stayed. Now I feel trapped. The dog died 6 months ago so there is no-one I feel loved by except my dd and gc Dh is incapable of understanding. I was terribly unhappy for the first years of our marriage. Now I look back and feel I’ve wasted my life and at 70 what future do I have. I don’t feel like this often but I do now at this very moment.

Wheniwasyourage Wed 13-May-20 10:31:12

cupcake1, I am glad that you are feeling better on a new day. You are certainly not alone in having a wobble - I'm sure we've all done it, and it is good to know that others understand. I know that I am very lucky in having the company of my DH, a comfortable house with a garden and nice places to walk to for our daily exercise, and am not cooped up on the 17th floor of a tower block with 2 teenagers, but even so, there are times when it gets too much. Have a good day flowers and don't watch the news too much!

I do hope that someone shops the b** (sorry, but can't think of a polite word) who spat on those poor women. Someone must have seen him or know who it was.

We have 3 primary school teachers in close family and I am very glad that schools here are not going back yet. It is worrying enough that they are all involved at hub schools on rotas as well as online teaching, but as others have said, how you keep Primary 1-3 children to social distancing is beyond me. Herding cats may be a cliché, but it seems relevant.

Great poem, ginny - thank you!

Lilyflower Wed 13-May-20 10:32:42

This week seems to have been the hardest for many people. I have had five separate occasions since Sunday where others have (unjustifiably) lost their temper and fired off a volley. Venting seems rife.

I imagine it is to do with the loosening of the Lockdown. Individuals can cope with strict rules but no one is or will be in agreement about how and when restrictions should be lifted. The government will get the blame for everything ultimately as we are a nation of scapegoaters.

I should, as they say over on Mumsnet, put your big girl pants on and take a day at a time. It will be, more or less, all right.

As Churchill said, 'KBO'.

Wheniwasyourage Wed 13-May-20 10:34:00

25Avalon flowers for you too. I'm sorry you feel so trapped. [Virtual hugs]

25Avalon Wed 13-May-20 10:42:27

Thank you so much Wheniwasyourage. It has made me cry that someone cares and I feel I am reconnecting to the world rather than wallowing in what I should have done but didn’t do so many years ago which is futile.

Maccyt1955 Wed 13-May-20 10:42:49

Maybe these low moods are linked to the weather.

When the sun is shining and it is warm; often you can pretend you are on holiday (if you are fortunate enough to have a garden).

But when it is cold and grim, then reality does tend to hit I find.

LAJ56 Wed 13-May-20 10:45:37

Totally understand where your coming from. I had a very wobbly day on Monday. We are all dealing with our anxiety in different ways ! My GD is doing GCSE next year and is so worried about the time she is missing. Even though her school have been brilliant and she logs in to them every day
Hope your feeling better today. Xx

Twig14 Wed 13-May-20 10:55:46

Dear Cupcake
Know how you feel. I have been battling on trying to keep upbeat but today feel like you. Could be the change in the weather as when it’s sunny always lifts your mood. I have arranged my fathers funeral in the last two weeks due to this dreadful virus. My DD flew back from the Middle East then lockdown came shes stuck here with us while her husband working out there. I have my 100 year old mother staying due to lockdown and my DH is unable to go out n has a shielding letter due to a serious medical condition. I think about all the families who have lost loved ones like I have. Just try to keep busy as much as you are able to and look forward to the day when all restrictions are lifted n the virus is eradicated. Take care