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Tonight I lost it and just wept ....

(107 Posts)
cupcake1 Tue 12-May-20 20:39:38

I’ve always had an optimistic outlook and ‘stiff upper lip’ but tonight watching the news I burst into tears. The news was no better or worse than before but I think it was a mixture of emotion and fear for the future. I am beyond furious that primary school children will be allowed back to school next month, key workers children being the exception. My dear GD who is taking GCSE’s next year should be amongst the first to return. I know this virus will eventually pass although not for the foreseeable future, but at what cost? Already the number of deaths are staggering, how many more lives will be lost? I miss the closeness and interaction with family and friends and ‘normality’ of life. I think the recent easing of lockdown has panicked me somewhat and I’m scared of the inevitable rise in cases. Sorry, I feel completely out of control at the moment and that is not like me at all! sad

Callistemon Wed 13-May-20 23:17:14

Three in my family have been going to school for 3 or 4 days a week all the way through (not my own DGC) because their parents either work in hospitals or in other schools.
They have grumbled a bit but their parents are doing vital jobs.

I watched a programme filmed in the intensive care unit of the Royal Gwent Hospital, it was on BBC Wales yesterday. It wasn't filmed by reporters but by the staff themselves and patients were not shown unless they had agreed. It was quite harrowing.
One nurse was taking her two tiny boys to nursery so that she could go in to work in the ICU; all the staff were so dedicated and courageous and doing their very best for all the patients.

Furret Wed 13-May-20 23:17:37

The difference is, and this is a concrete example, the biggest secondary school in our area had just 11 pupils most days. The logistics of coping with these was very simple.

May I also point out that the majority of pupils I know have been .’doing school work’ supported by teachers, setting work online and marking still, especially at secondary level.

Callistemon Wed 13-May-20 23:18:38

DGD had an online class meeting today with their form teacher.

LadyBella Fri 15-May-20 16:24:36

cupcake1 - I feel exactly like you do. I have cried today. My 13-year-old GS came over to my house today and sat on the grass social distancing. We chatted for a while but I couldn't give him a hug or get him anything to eat before he left. I used to look after him after school 4 evenings a week and he often stayed overnight at my house.. I miss him so much and just can't see when any of this is ever going to change. I know I am depressed - my eyes keep welling up. I feel that, at 70, there's nothing left which I know is ridiculous but everything seems pointless when you can't be with your family.

Luckygirl Fri 15-May-20 16:35:39

LadyBella - I am sorry you are feeling so sad today.

I do understand how hard it is when contact with those you love is so limited. But I really do think that we can only tot up the good things - consciously, and maybe even a written list. Today it is sunny and I went to the local common and my DD and GC were there - all distancing from me, so no danger. I know it is second best to what we would really like, but joy nevertheless. And over the weekend I will go to their home, head straight for their wildflower meadow, going nowhere near the house - I will take my own picnic and we will share a meal at a distance. Not ideal but I will make up my mind to love every minute.

I think it is about revising expectations so that we do not feel disappointed, but simply enjoy what is possible. Love what is possible and for the time being forget what isn't.

Take care.

grannymy Sun 17-May-20 15:28:05

You wouldn't be human is you didn't feel anxious at times. It just creeps up on you sometimes. I keep saying that the thing is, you don't quite know how it will be for you if you contract the virus. Will you sail through, or will you be hospitalised? I work in admin in my local hospital for three days a week and I am slap bang in the middle of a busy ward. Numerous screening tests on my desk, ready to be posted off to the testing centre. We all wear masks and constantly wash our hands. Take off our uniforms when we go home, shower, etc. But it still frightens me because you don't quite know if you will suffer from it. Our ward cleaner has gone off with the virus. For her it started with conjunctivitis. I stood and had a conversation with her about it before she went. off. Gulp. It's just such a difficult time for everyone.