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Today I just want to scream.....

(58 Posts)
Anne107 Wed 20-May-20 10:22:45

Hi all, I think we all got our really low moments- some days are good and other days not so good. For the last couple of days I have felt really low. I was widowed in 2008 and live alone in a one bedroom ground floor apartment but with no garden- although if I look out of my windows I do have a bit of greenery with trees ? and enjoy hearing the birds outside and watching little squirrels having a great time running around playing. I have my buddy Shadow, my cat, to keep me company. My son and grandchildren phone often and we have a little FaceTime together. I also have heart disease and borderline diabetes which has caused me some fear in venturing out even for a little walk! And yes I keep telling myself there are hundreds worse off than myself. But some days I just feel plain low! I believe when I go on Facebook and all these people with their gardens and children playing in garden or sitting in sun with a nice glass of wine with their partners or relaxing in a jacuzzi watching their beautiful flowers blossoming just makes me feel worse. Yes, I know I sound resentful but I am sure I would be better if I just had a garden or even a balcony! I truly do not begrudge anyone who has a home with garden - I just wish I was in that position. I retired in January of this year and had plans to do voluntary work with animals (I love animals) and was also hoping to attend art classes, even looking into dog walking. That has all now been put on hold because of this damn virus. And as I have already stated above I keep telling myself over and over there are hundreds of people worse off than me - most days it works for me and I able to count my blessings but other days I just want to scream!

MayBee70 Thu 21-May-20 16:43:14

I’ll check him out flaxwoven. Is it just me but I’ve been, in my imagination, doing favourite walks: sitting on a beach etc. It’s as if my memory, which is usually pretty awful, is trawling through it’s archives and taking me to much loved places. I guess it’s the sort of thing that relaxation tapes do.

Joesoap Thu 21-May-20 17:07:16

A feel for you, I have a garden and feel quite guilty at times thinking of people who dont have gardens and greenery around them.Try and go out with some form of face cover, when you see people and different surroundings you will feel so much better.Sending you hugs and flowers.

Candy6 Thu 21-May-20 18:38:48

I truly feel for you but you seem to be doing very well on the whole. You make me feel guilty now as I have low days but am living with my family and have a garden. You are doing amazing. I think there’s some good advice on here re online art classes and trying to get out for a walk. Evening sounds like a good time - then at least you’ve got something to look forward to all day. Beware too of other people’s posts on social media - remember they probably only post the good things which can paint a false picture and doesn’t relate to what they’re really feeling inside. Take care lovely and I hope you’re feeling brighter very soon xx

aonk Thu 21-May-20 20:36:11

Do you have any friends with gardens? Yesterday I invited a friend who lives alone to come and sit in my garden. She only has a very small patio. It was the first time she had seen anyone apart from neighbours in passing since lockdown began. We both really enjoyed our socially distanced meeting.

123kitty Thu 21-May-20 20:50:57

Anne107 What an awful time to be alone in lockdown- what lovely responses you've received from all your friends at Gransnet. I hope this has cheered you up a little, just knowing people do care. Now put your shoes on, no need for a jacket, get outside and have a little walk.

moggie57 Thu 21-May-20 22:28:43

i totally agree with you ,though i do get out into the communal gardens to do some gardening .my neighbour in the next block makes me want to scream ,she is always RIGHT no matter what subject we discuss... yesterday she told ther kids off because they mixed with the kids downstairs ,didnt bother me one iota .. i was indoors. i came out to pick lettuce ..she goes off down the pathway out the gate to talk to someone in a car .no two metres distancing.i asked her why she told off the kids and she not keeping her distance from the people in the car. well i couldnt hear them she says . so i said well dont go telling off the kids for enjoying themselves..... course she went off in one. saying i go shopping .yes says me i am a volunteer for salvation army and i wear my badge to prove it and i keep my distance.anyway this evening water the flowers etc, she said why dont you do mine.? i do sometimes. but she likes to do her own anyway .grrrrrrrrrr.. next we was talking about foot and mouth disease. was telling her my brother worked in laboratory when this was about .oh no he didnt says she. YES he did .no i know your brother and he didnt. em no you dont .....grrrrrrr. told her she likes to think she always right but she not .grabbed my washing basket off the bench and went upstairs .she bellowed up the stairs. you think you know it all. no answer from me. her .why you not talking to me. me .why do you think. !!!! grrrrrrrr......

Jishere Fri 22-May-20 00:51:56

Why do u talk to her? It gave me an headache just reading it. Nite and take care