My husband refuses to believe in coronavirus

So many people have been terrified by this virus. For some, their way of coping with that fear is to use these silly conspiracy theories to they can go into denial about it.

Problem is that that they so easily to find (these silly theories, that is). Far easier to read those than to cope with the idea that there really is a world wide virus raging around, making millions ill, and killing quite a lot of people - and modern science is struggling to find ways of dealing with it.
Children need to have adults able to sort out their problems, as much as they will rail and complain about the rules and boundaries laid down, they need them to give them a feeling of security.
So, many adults just never really grow out of that stage, and still need to have a firmly based, solid belief that there is something and someone out there who is actually in control.
Some find this through religion
Now, at a time when our world seems to be out of control, others are having to rely on these conspiracy theories to re-assure themselves that someone, somewhere is in control.

They are comforting themselves, as they really cannot cope with reality. No amount of just insulting them or calling them mentally ill is going to help.

The real worries are about those using these theories who are trying to show their defiance by deliberately exposing themselves and their loved ones to this virus, by going out their way to break any of the rules designed to help to stop the spread of this virus.

If the OP's OH is doing nothing more than sitting at home on his screen reading about these conspiracies, then he is doing no harm in the long run. If he is going out a lot and not obeying strict hygiene rules on returning home, then she needs to bring in stricter social distancing rules in their home.

This could be a relationship ender for me. I'm not sure I could be in a life long relationship with someone whose belief systems were so peculiar and unrealistic.
Is he ill?

Does he really think that Governments all over the world wanted to have so many deaths, pressure on the hospitals and staff, trying to protect jobs and huge borrowings to prop up the economy? Is he related to Donald Trump? He has a screw loose too! We have an ex friend who always had these sort of conspiracy theories. They need to live in the real world.

Frankie51 said 'The power of social media is frightening' - so very true.

It's well worth watching 'The Social Dilemma' on Netflix to understand the incredible potential influence, addiction - and severe danger to mental health that social media poses.

You might find this article helpful

www.theguardian.com/technology/2020/nov/11/how-2020-transformed-big-tech-the-story-of-facebook-qanon-and-the-worlds-slackening-grip-on-reality

Oh nightwriter I'm so sorry to hear this. I feel your pain. I live here in the Midwest of the USA with my boyfriend of 15 years and he also believes in all of the conspiracy theories hovering around Covid. I've given up on trying to have a normal conversation with him about the whole situation. He too says he won't get the vaccine when it's available. Shoot he just tried this very night to relay all the rigger-a-more having to due with Covid is the democrats way of controlling the election. His is an educated, well rounded, faithful man....but on this subject all I can do is shake my head and walk away. We no longer discuss any of it. When he gets upset with me I reminded him that in my view he's not be logical and we cannot discuss this topic and walk away. It's terrible during these times not to be on the same page, but it is what it is. Hang in there, if everything else in your relationship is good then converse with others on this topic and avoid discussing it with him. This way your home will remain peaceful. We don't always see eye to eye with those we love so we need to pick our battles wisely and I don't think changing their minds is one we can win. My prayers are mine will awaken when push comes to shove regarding Covid. Good luck with yours.

How utterly ridiculous to suggest it isn't 'real'. Does he honestly think governments would have closed businesses left, right and centre, and paid furlough wages for people to stay off work, for something that isn't real? Does he honestly think press reports of Covid wards, first-hand accounts from exhausted nurses and medical professionals, are faked? Has he not met anyone who has lost a family member to it, anyone who was unable to visit their loved one in their last hours because the risk was too high?

Let him indulge his stupid fantasies about Bill Gates, about vaccines being made for surveillance and control, and let him hope beyond hope that he doesn't end up on a ventilator, or losing someone precious to this horrible virus. The arrogance and idiocy of the Covid deniers is sickening.

Try listening to him.
He's not far wrong.
Do a bit of real research instead of accepting everything we are being force fed on a daily basis, and you'll find a lot of what he's saying is spot on - but people can't, or don't want to see it. Look at Dr Vernon Coleman, Professor Dolores Cahill, Dr Heiko Schőning, Dr Mike Yealdon (ex Pfizer...yes, the vaccine manufacturer), journalist Anna Brees (ex BBC/ITV) to name but a few. All experts in their fields and all with a completely different viewpoint.
You may even surprise yourself. If still not convinced there could beca different angle on all this, back away, as your husband has a right to his views, too.
Agree to disagree.
Personally, I'm with him.

Marianna Spring is the BBC's specialist disinformation reporter. Her focus is on investigations and features about the human toll of misinformation, online abuse and the social media sphere. Follow her on Twitter @mariannaspring

Sebastian's mum is one of the leaders of Britain's conspiracy community. He spoke exclusively to the BBC's specialist disinformation reporter Marianna Spring about the impact that his mother is having on public health - and their relationship.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-54738471?fbclid=IwAR0Y5ypkTCIhRZCDvc8mmUohE3qL2nGRx7P7LSnZsjIwRl3FMs3ytC3Y82g

Ridds66

I agree with him , do some research , agenda 21/30 he’s right

Hi do your research and stop watching MSM , your husband is awake

I agree with him , do some research , agenda 21/30 he’s right

Oh, that's a sobering thing to reflect on.

I work in a crematorium and your husband is crazy if he doesn’t believe that the virus is real. In the first wave of deaths earlier this year we went from a regular amount of approx 40 cremations and 3 maybe 4 burials a week to 125 cremations a week and an average of 4 burials a day! This went on for about 6 weeks and our 2 cremators were working 24 hours a day at one point just trying to keep up with the amount of bodies arriving..

Be rude!

A very intelligent acquaintance of mine who runs her own business has started posting long anti vaxing rants about big pharma working with governments to use the vaccine to control populations. I’m finding it really hard to understand how she can hold these views, and even more difficult to know what to say to her without being plain rude!

Really sorry for your trouble. There's nothing you can do to help him to realise that the internet may be a wonderfully useful tool, but it isn't a substitute for real life. Stay as strong and grounded as you are now and don't follow him down the rabbit hole.

i just cant get my head round people who feel this way, the evidence is there, please god he doesnt catch it

There is going to be a march by anti vaxers in Wolverhampton on Saturday. I suggested they should sign a waiver to say that they won’t seek treatment if they catch or spread the disease as they are wilfully endangering others including NHS staff.

Tillybelle I agree with everything you say and would suggest this is a way for harmony within families when dealing with countless other subjects. I have tried to use this approach when dealing with my extended family. We seem to disagree on most things, from religion, politics, education, marriage, money. It is too exhausting arguing or discussing every point. When I spend time with friends I choose to spend my time with people who make me happy and have views and ideas that make some sense to me. Life partners should be there to respect, support and love you and together make choices that are acceptable to both of you.

Two of my work colleagues also believe it’s a Government conspiracy to try and control us and that this virus doesn’t exist. Yet they can’t come up with a reason why, for what purpose. I’ve had heated arguments with them and told them to tell their theories to the over 49,000 people’s relatives that have died of it. They also believe the earth is flat - enough said!

An ex colleague of mine is much the same. He’s a lovely bloke and absolutely not daft, but he lives alone, no family to speak of, and was deprived of his usual social life (largely his local pub) during the first lockdown.

I’m sure it was social isolation, and probably boredom on top, that drove him to conspiracy websites.

I no exactly how u feel and feel for u , my daughter and her husband are the same wev had lots of arguments about this very heated all I can do now is tell her we agree to disagree but it still comes up every time I see her and it seems to me people she knows think the same way and like u said about ur husband always on the internet looking at videos about there being no covid ?☹️

That must be so hard to live with. According to my brother, Biden will be dead in a month (or a month into his presidency) to be replaced by Karmela - all in some plan to have the first female and black president. He and my other brother have plenty of time to trawl the internet. However, no one has to trust our governments if they don't want to and are free (certainly in this country) to have and voice their suspicions. Thanks to the www, they lap up all sorts of theories about the Clintons, the Obamas, the Blairs, etc. Seemingly the master plan is to have only 'elite' people in the world ultimately and get rid of nearly everyone else through various means and/or ensure that the masses live in ignorance. And many more theories I could mention. It is distressing for the listener, while the spouter seems to revel in it. How does the possible 'grain of truth' turn into a mountain of madness? No, I don't think it's a mental illness at all, but as others have said, a reaction to extraordinary events and changes, a baulking against people in power and their motives (don't we all do that at times?) and possibly also a reaction to difficult events in their own lives. When my f-i-l developed dementia, he thought the government was responsible for his topsy turvy days and nights. We agreed with him, but that's quite different. Perhaps your husband needs a hobby or something to take his mind off things. A good laugh might help if you can find one. Or you could put a time limit on his rantings, and agree on just 10 or 15 minutes per day and no more. You have my sympathy.

I agree absolutely with TillyBelle.

Has he got friends or other family members he could try and off load this onto ? Instead of taking this on board yourself maybe get support of those he may listen to.