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I’m being made to feel stupid for sticking to the rules, anyone else?

(240 Posts)
TenaciousB Sat 02-Jan-21 16:13:15

I live in an area where our Covid 19 cases are low but I’m still sticking to the rules so that it doesn’t change however my circle of friends think that the risk is overrated and that I’m being over the top by doing this ( and I’m talking about older people too!) it is really making me angry but I’m biting my tongue as I know one day this will be over and I don’t want to lose my friendships. It is getting very hard to do this though. Is anyone else in the same situation?

Fuchsiarose Sat 02-Jan-21 21:30:08

I have always been careful, and take no notice of criticism. I would like to determine the manner of my death as best I can. A friend has a neighbour who goes to all the houses in her road and puts bins out, and returns to put bins back later. Superspreader, or what, all bare hands, no mask.

Gingster Sat 02-Jan-21 21:40:13

I spoke to my friend today who told me she and her husband had family round On Xmas day and then they went to her sons on Boxing Day. We are tier 4 and in the worst area in the country. ‘We had a lovely time’ she said. Completely blasé

nadateturbe Sat 02-Jan-21 21:53:20

My sister visited today, just to the door to bring a late Christmas present. She said she's just going to get on with her life and not worry too much. Her husband is waiting for a kidney transplant. It seemed silly not to be careful.
She laughed at me for washing food packaging. She has never done it. Am I silly for doing it? I don't want to waste my time.

Jane10 Sat 02-Jan-21 22:05:54

One of our nieghbours studiously made absolutely no concessions to lockdown. She went out and about to people's houses and invited guests into hers.
She's in hospital now ?

FarNorth Sat 02-Jan-21 22:11:15

nadateturbe I've never washed packaging either, but I'm in an area with very low incidence.
If it reassures you to wash packaging, it's not wasted time.

WOODMOUSE49 Sat 02-Jan-21 22:27:03

All family and friends keeping to the rules. Most of my family are in Tier 4.

Sorry their behaviour towards you TerriBull has made you feel this way. Don't get bullied into something you could really regret.

JenniferEccles Sat 02-Jan-21 22:27:08

Even with sticking to the guidelines we all probably still vary slightly in how we go about our lives.

I for instance have never wiped groceries before putting them away but I wouldn’t criticise those who do, if it makes them feel better.

However it is a fact that we can’t live our lives expecting to eliminate all risk. That way madness lies.

WOODMOUSE49 Sat 02-Jan-21 22:27:59

Sorry TerriBull that should read TenaciousB

nadateturbe Sat 02-Jan-21 23:23:21

Thanks Farnorth and JenniferEccles for comments.
Hmm. To wash or not to wash.....

Maggiemaybe Sun 03-Jan-21 00:11:16

I washed mine religiously for a few weeks, nadateturbe, then moved on to just leaving things for a few days in a box under the kitchen table and on a separate shelf in the fridge. I don’t do any of this now, but certainly wouldn’t blame anyone who did.

Sparklefizz Sun 03-Jan-21 08:31:56

nadateturbe You're not alone. I am still religiously either washing anything that comes into the house, or quarantining it.

It's true we can't eliminate all risk from life but having been meticulous for 9 months and with the vaccine in sight, I will carry on as it would be awful if I contracted Covid at this late stage ... like being killed on the last day of the war.

I don't mind making this extra effort, I can whizz through it in no time when my shopping is delivered.

PollyDolly Sun 03-Jan-21 08:40:47

Point out to these friends that Covid doesn't come with a calling card, we cannot see that someone might be infected with the virus, they don't know that the person they stood next to in the supermarket/chemists/hardware shop wasn't a carrier.

Above all, carry on being sensible yourself and in your shoes I would avoid these "friends" like the plague!!!

Sarnia Sun 03-Jan-21 09:18:35

My eldest son is like that. He doesn't say it in so many words but I know he thinks I am an old fuss pot. He keeps asking me if I know anyone who has had Covid and when I say I don't he shrugs his shoulders, as if me not knowing anyone with Covid gives me some sort of immunity. I just carry on with what I feel safe with.

BlueSky Sun 03-Jan-21 09:31:26

We must all do what we feel comfortable with even if other people do otherwise. You can’t change their minds and they can’t change yours. If they comment just say that’s your preference and decline any activity you see as risky. If they are friends they’ll understand.

Luckygirl Sun 03-Jan-21 09:37:18

I think that some of my friends are pretty lax about the rules by my standards - but I make no comment on what they do and they make no comment on what I do.

Shortlegs Sun 03-Jan-21 09:37:55

You owe absolutely nothing to anybody else. Do what you believe right for you and your family.

Supernan Sun 03-Jan-21 09:41:12

It is them who are being stupid. The risk is most definitely not overrated. Stick with it. Don’t let anyone undermine you. Stay strong.

CarlyD7 Sun 03-Jan-21 09:45:31

Most of my friends are sticking to the rules but a couple are being more blase (I'm seeing them on Zoom only). A neighbour had a friend of 40+ years invite them around for a New Year's Eve dinner (!) she didn't want to go but felt blackmailed into it (" you're the ONLY one who has said no!") but still took her own glass, cutlery, hand sanitiser and a small towel for when she needed to go to the loo (which was widely ridiculed). But I would say stick to what you feel is right for YOU. And don't forget - by sticking to the Rules, you are giving others a good role model (and encouraging them to stick to them too).

Quodette Sun 03-Jan-21 09:46:42

Ignore them. Do you really want to be friends with people like that? The reason this is spreading so wildly is because of people ignoring the rules. The virus cannot live without people, so carry on and stay home. I stopped going out in February having made my own mind up and didn’t wait for the Government to lockdown.

sazz1 Sun 03-Jan-21 09:47:35

We are being careful and not mixing apart from DD who is in a support bubble with us. Most of my family are doing the same and not mixing. My best friend is the opposite and into conspiracy theories, anti mask, backs the protests etc. I don't challenge her about it as she's alone and stressed
I just live life my way and she does what she thinks is right. No point making enemies or rowing with people. Just do what is right for you.

Dillonsgranma Sun 03-Jan-21 09:47:44

Yes I know what you mean. It’s exasperating. My neighbour drove to a tier 4 level for Christmas which is forbidden. And she is a carer in an agency for frail elderly people . I nearly rang the agency .........

HeatherTee Sun 03-Jan-21 09:50:37

Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

hulahoop Sun 03-Jan-21 09:50:44

I am lucky most of my friends and family are being careful like me ,I do know people who flaunt the rules that is their choice unfortunately I can't stop them .You are doing what feels right for you and following guidelines and if they don't understand then are they true friends .

AJKW Sun 03-Jan-21 09:51:15

Sorry but I see it from your friends perspective. With a survival rate of 99.85% then I do question why young fit healthy people are locked away; meanwhile the world economy’s are failing. The biggest problem we now face is the 2nd Great Depression, government induced. Something is going on Covid is the excuse.

Awesomegranny Sun 03-Jan-21 09:53:27

Like most people you’re doing the right thing. I certainly wouldn’t want to run the risk of catching COVID and risking long COVID, ventilators or worse or even be responsible for passing to someone else.
Your friends sound very irresponsible, I’d keep away from them at present and ignore what they say. Far better to stay safe and well! Rules are there for our protection