I’m being made to feel stupid for sticking to the rules, anyone else?

My 90 year old Mother is living with my brother in Surrey until she moves into her flat in a few weeks, just down the road from him. Every weekend my brother and my Mum go to stay with his girlfriend, who has two teenaged girls wandering in and out. I have told them both again and again that they shouldn't be doing it, but they both just ignore me or if they pretend to listen, they just do it again. It makes me furious, but I can't get through to any of them!

kjmpde It is not "the elderly" who are holding parties of several hundreds (that is the young who think that they are immortal, and don't consider how mortal their grandparents are) or flocking to quiet picturesque villages to crowd the pavements of their streets without masks (that is the middle-aged who think that they must get out and an area with a low infection rate is the safest place to go). Perhaps you see people with grey hair and think they are old, when they are probably in the forties, fifties or early sixties. That is not old - it is still middle-aged! The "elderly" that I know are staying at home avoiding icily treacherous pavements and pushy teenagers, getting their groceries delivered and only going outside the front door to put the wheeliebin out. The more IT-savvy speak to their families on Zoom or by Whatsapp - and a lot more have become savvy since lockdown. The less savvy just hope their familes can spare the time to phone them.

I would just nod and say we all have to follow our own conscience where the rules are concerned and in future, try to avoid discussing the rules if you can. You should also keep our physical distance as if they breaking the rules they could catch the virus abd pass it to you.

PollyDolly

Point out to these friends that Covid doesn't come with a calling card, we cannot see that someone might be infected with the virus, they don't know that the person they stood next to in the supermarket/chemists/hardware shop wasn't a carrier.

Above all, carry on being sensible yourself and in your shoes I would avoid these "friends" like the plague!!!

She is doing!

Just say "well we all have to make the choices that work best for us dont we!" and smile benignly! OR ..." well the choices we make are not really just for ourselves. I feel comfortable sticking to rules for everyone's sake. We each make our own choices!" And smile benignly!

But to be honest, people who cant just accept that you have made a choice without going on at you ...friends ...hmmm??

Don’t let this stupid people try and turn you away from what you know is right ! My own SiL and her DH are still saying things to me and to my DH about me because I stick to the rules.

In our local park there were at least 40 children between approx 6-17 they were playing in what looked like a family gathering. Some were playing football with others using the swing park. These children will be at primary and senior schools tomorrow. The parents about 10 in total were all mixing too.
If these parents truly loved their children they would not be mixing with others.
If their teachers knew what was happening they’d be outraged. Or so I thought. At least 2 of the adults present WERE teachers. So they will be at school tomorrow too!! All this is madness

My family and friends are following the rules but nobody can make you feel stupid for doing what you know is right. If they want to be reckless then that is up to them but they should respect your decision.

I know how you feel, I have some family members who make me feel like I am over reacting. All you can do is stick to what you know is right. Just today I had one saying she would like to come over with her 3 kids for an hour as they haven`t seen me for a bit. I suggested meeting in the park, `No its to cold for that, oh you are so over the top` - We are in Tier 4 - no wonder this thing is spreading. Stick to your guns op and stay safe.

Well said Chris8888

You cant get on with your life if you’re dead. Have they been living on a desert island or something ? Tell them to wake up and smell the Covid and then carry on doing what you’re doing.

To be honest, I couldn't see people who didn't respect my decisions as friends. Plus, without wishing to lay it on too thick, if they don't want to maintain their own health that's up to them, but they want to put you at risk. They are not friends.

Do your own thing, we do, we don't pay attention to what other people say.

Interestingly, chatting to our son in South Korea earlier today, he said that over there most of the rule breakers are middle aged and older people, most of them going to large (ie several hundred people) church services. Seems like the opposite of here. Maybe they think God will protect them!

PamelaJl
I was 8 months waiting to have a cancerous tumour removed in 2019
Unfortunately I found out last October that the cancer has returned, I'm on a waiting list for surgical removal of the new tumour... god only knows when that will happen now with the escalation of Covid cases
Most people are kind and good but some people are just so selfish it makes me weep

TenaciousB, Yes, in the past, my sister and best friend both laughed at me for 'overreacting'.

That was back in the summer, though. Now, at last, they finally realise the gravity of the situation. They don't laugh now.

There is no cure for stupid, unfortunately!

I never 'felt stupid' though. I knew, all along, that I was right!

We think we have been extremely strict. We have not been in anyone else's house, or a shop or pub or restaurant since early March. We wear gloves to take in deliveries and sanitise everything before we put it away.

We obey our own rules, irrespective of government rules because our rules should make us safer.

We do walk around our village and the neighbouring countryside and sometimes chat to neighbours, but only at a safe distance.

We only know one couple whose rules are stricter that ours. They never leave their own house and garden.

It is our responsibilty to keep ourselves as safe as we can be and not impose an unnecessary burden on the NHS.

My husband was disappointed and thought I was overreacting
when I decided not to have Christmas with our children and grandchildren, even though it was permitted. We were in Tier 2 at the time but I still felt uneasy even though we didn't know anyone who had had the virus. He is now glad that I made the decision for us, as on Boxing Day two of our children their husband's and two of the grandchildren tested positive for Covid 19.

Sometimes we perceive others to be out taking risks, I know a neighbour called out merry Christmas to me last week, we had a conversation across the road as I was getting into my car, she said I was always out and about, the truth is I drive my dogs to the woods or the beach a couple of times a day, I keep as far away from others as I can, I only shop when I have to, getting a months worth of animal food at a time, Shopping online and only meeting my sister my brother or son, who all live on their own, out on walks, one a week, but to others I seem to be "out and about all the time"

I’ve been accused of bring paranoid and I’ve said I probably am but I’m going to survive!
I’ve also had a family member say to me it’s because of you I have to stay in and wear masks etc As if being classed as clinically extremely vulnerable was my choice!
You certainly find out who your true friends are in a time of crisis. All I can say is keep on taking care of yourself because nobody else will!

Other people's reaction, to this situation, has certainly made their character visible - crystal clear, in fact.

I never realised that I knew quite so many selfish, ignorant, reckless folk - some are even relatives!

I live with my 70 year old parents my mam and I are both asthmatic and I am awaiting a double hip replacement we live in a tier 4 area and on new years day I had to threaten my family with getting the police as my parents wanted to let my brother his girlfriend and her 2 year old child into our home. I cant understand why it is so difficult to follow in this age of technology the sooner we stick to the rules properly the sooner it will end I havent been out the house since the beginning of november

I know of a couple of people who have been a bit flippant about the guidelines....those very same people have been terrified when told that they have been exposed to the virus by mixing with a person who has tested positive. We are all at risk and the more careful we are the better. Dinner parties can wait.

this is sort of an example of the way some are thinking,even if numbers are low it can change by the minute, if everyone had been sensible and wore masks, social distancing etc i`m sure there would have been a big improvement by now instead of dragging on and on, too much ,,"I`m all right Jack "