I am sorry you are so alone and afraid. I think the riskiest places to go at the moment are shops. I am not the best person to cheer you up, but you might have a laugh from my experience in December at the hospital.
I have a disability - chronic polyneuropathy. Sometimes it makes swallowing difficult and when I lay down on this occasion I really choked. My gp came and ordered an ambulance to the hospital. When it arrived, the paramedics had no idea why they were here because no one told them. They phoned my doctor who was surprised it had taken 2 hours. He knows how afraid of hospitals I am.
Having ascertained where they were to take me, I was seen, questions etc. and I was supposed to have an endoscopy but they insisted on my swallowing some juice. Then said I had to wait for an xray. I was shown into a waiting area which was rather small as waiting rooms go, with chairs all round. It was full of people, of all ages, including some very noisy people who were with a bipolar patient and who wore no masks and were up and down all the time, shouting and swearing. The staff could see and hear them, but no one came. The waiting room got full. There was an elderly man with the dirtiest mask I ever saw. When he could no longer tolerate the manic depressive people, he started a torrent of swearing and shouting at them. They moaned back at him, saying they had mental health problems and he said something unsavory to that to which they moaned they had been there all afternoon (by this time it was nearly 9at night as there was a TV and Coronation St was on to add to it all) ) and he swore back saying he had been there since 9 in the morning and would they stop the shouting. It subsided a little bit. I had been there since about 3.30. I kept getting up to go to the loo, only it was occupied. After the umpteenth time of trying, a nurse asked me if I wanted the toilet and I said yes and she showed me to another. When I said the other was engaged for ages, she told me it was out of order. I bit back telling her to put a notice on the door as I thought that would do not use.
After I finished, I passed the nurse at the small desk and asked her if she would ring my carer and tell him where to come. She did so. She reminded me that I had the xtray yet. By the time he came the whole place was empty. The only people were myself and an elderly lady sitting slightly behind me to the left. The staff were gone, just us two sitting there. I had a line in, covered it up with a glove, and as there was no one about, my carer pushed me out to his car. We went down a wrong corridor at one point, and it was pitch black. We retraced our steps and found another way, and someone let us out to the ambulance bay where he parked the car. It was dark everywhere, not a light on, and the main car park completely empty. I honestly could not see that I would be taken to xray any time soon. We got in the car and went home. When I got home it was 10pm.
I admire the work the NHS do, and know they are under a strain, but to allow a waiting area get out of control and do nothing surprised me. You cannot make it up, though there used to be a comic strip in comics called Chicks Own and Tiger Tim (until the 1950s) called Casey's Court, and this reminded me of it.
If you get problems coughing, the best cough mixture is port - the white is better. Only a spoonful is needed to settle the throat. ml for ml it is cheaper than cough syrup and more effective.
