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Son and wife not having the vaccination

(132 Posts)
Schumee Thu 06-May-21 12:59:15

My eldest son and his wife have made it clear that they are not having the Covid vaccine. I feel really disappointed in them but realise everyone has to make their own decisions. I just feel that I wont be happy having them in my house and will have to see them in outside venues. My grand daughter is 9 and I have only seen her twice in the past year. I used to help out with child care during the holidays but I dont feel happy doing this now. AIBU

dragonfly46 Thu 06-May-21 13:01:40

No I don't think you are. Both mine were really excited to be getting the vaccination. I wonder why they don't want it.

Feelingmyage55 Thu 06-May-21 13:05:03

Is it that they have a manufacturer preference? That would be understandable.

Peasblossom Thu 06-May-21 13:06:50

No you’re not being unreasonable. Just as they have made their decision based on what they feel comfortable with, you too should make your decision on that basis.

Having said that, and having been the world’s most cautious person up till now, I am feeling much more confident having had two doses.

Meeting outside for the Summer is good and hopefully we will get our booster in the Autumn and then you might feel confident enough to resume childcare for your granddaughter.

Easy does it ?

Davida1968 Thu 06-May-21 13:09:43

No. IMO you're not being unreasonable. Stick with what's right for you. (I guess that DS & DiL won't seek to travel overseas!)

Bibbity Thu 06-May-21 13:15:22

YANBU. I honestly can’t understand why someone wouldn’t after all the world has been through.
My 7 year old has been begging for it!

eazybee Thu 06-May-21 13:15:53

I am presuming you have had your doses of the vaccine, in which case you do have a good measure of protection against them.
I wouldn't say too much about their refusal as you may find peer pressure will begin to work when other people, colleagues, friends, holiday places etc. exclude them.

MerylStreep Thu 06-May-21 13:18:03

If my family decided not to have the vaccine it wouldn’t bother me at all, I would still visit with them.
But then I’m the person, who when their daughter had a meltdown because of the food shelves being stripped rushed to her house to hug and comfort her, and carried on seeing her.

Hithere Thu 06-May-21 13:25:58

While I am pro vaccine, I understand some individuals may not want it

Are there medical reasons? Manufacturer reasons? Scared of side effects?

annodomini Thu 06-May-21 13:33:41

Are they anti all vaccines? Has their child had the usual vaccines? If they're not objecting on principal, I find it odd that they are making an exception for the Covid vax.

annodomini Thu 06-May-21 13:34:07

principal principle

3nanny6 Thu 06-May-21 13:39:31

I am getting ready to run and hide but I just thought I would mention that I was told by a nurse doing the vaccine that certain people who are turning down the jab will be able to get the vaccine in tablet form although it will not be ready until about August, I think it is for people that have had poor reactions to other vaccines and medication.

Aveline Thu 06-May-21 13:40:59

Oh dear. Fingers crossed for peer pressure. If you're not comfortable seeing them other than outside and socially distanced it's their problem if they don't like it. Be strong.

Atqui Thu 06-May-21 13:53:08

This is a very tricky situation , and I am in the same position regarding my daughter and her husband declining the vaccine. They are not anti vax in general, just anti covid vaccination. My daughter is concerned about possible long term effects. I don’t agree with her decision, but neither do I want to put any pressure on her to change her mind, apart from pointing out that we’d still have smallpox if everyone felt that way.
However, I will still see them in the normal way as long as they continue to do the tests.

Atqui Thu 06-May-21 13:55:34

Unfortunately there is a lot of peer pressure on the anti view if young people find it on the internet, and a lot of misleading facts

BlueBelle Thu 06-May-21 14:41:36

I have one adult child not wanting it but I will still visit because I ve had mine and feel I ll often be round someone who hasnt but I will never know that will I ? I could be served by someone in a shop, sit next to someone in a bus or restaurant who hasn’t had the vaccine but I will never know
You will never get 100% compliance
I don’t think you can expect everyone to think as you do
My newly married eldest granddaughter has a new husband who believes all the tripe about conspiracies I wonder if she will have it or follow him We ll see !

As soon as they want to travel they ll be begging for a jab ???

allsortsofbags Thu 06-May-21 15:29:36

It wouldn't bother me in terms of visiting family.

However, I can see some people running into difficulties re regulations in other areas of life as I don't think it's going be as clear cut as personal choice.

DD2 (she's had her 1st jab) was talking yesterday that there is a recent ruling in favour of businesses being able to let staff go if they Do Not have the vaccine without there being a case for Unfair Dismissal. Part of her role is Health and Safety so I guess that's why she knows about this but I haven't researched it.

I think for Employee and Business Insurance there may be more of these sort of rules that will affect people re vaccinations choice too.

I also wonder about Travel Insurance, it's already established that if you don't have any required vaccinations for where you are going your Insurance is invalid even if you break a leg that has nothing to do with Yellow Fever etc.

Time will tell.

Callistemon Thu 06-May-21 16:07:09

You have had your vaccines and your DGD will not be having one anyway so in your position I would still see her; she has been in school with all the risks that entails anyway.

They may change their minds or you could just see them outdoors if that makes you feel safer - but the main point is that you are at less risk than they are as you've had both your vaccinations.

Sarnia Thu 06-May-21 16:17:06

People have the right to choose whether or not to have the vaccine and should not be expected to give a reason for their decision. However, on a personal level, I feel anyone without a solid reason why they should not have the jab should go and get it. The virus is not going to disappear of its own accord so we must find ways to co-exist with it and at the moment the vaccines seem the only way. Perhaps if vaccine passports need producing for social and leisure events they may have a change of heart.

DiscoDancer1975 Thu 06-May-21 16:50:41

There’s not much you can do unfortunately, but you have the same rights to choice as them, so no, you are not being unreasonable at all.

Boogaloo Thu 06-May-21 16:56:45

I am not getting the vaccine and neither is my youngest son and his fiancée. My husband has had both of of his.

Many young people are concerned about the long term effects of these vaccines.

CafeAuLait Thu 06-May-21 23:32:05

You need to be free to decide what to do about socialising with people who have or haven't had the vaccine, just as people are free to decide whether or not to have the vaccine. If you've had yours and feel confident with it, you could meet them, or meet them in a place outdoors, if that makes you feel safer.

I'm not eligible for the vaccine at this time and I'm a bit concerned about being around people who have had the vaccine. If they still can get Covid but not have symptoms, I feel that puts me at risk of exposure. I'm not going around worrying but I'm also not putting myself in a position to risk exposure. I might stick to outdoor meetings with people, vaccinated or not, for now.

Biscuitmuncher Fri 07-May-21 00:35:24

I'm not having the vaccine. I may have it one day but theres too many question Mark's about it. Maybe if I'd spent the last year frightened about catching covid I might feel different

CafeAuLait Fri 07-May-21 05:17:15

I feel the same way as you Biscuitmuncher.

Franbern Fri 07-May-21 08:39:48

I must say I am quite amazed as to how many people want to believe the rubbish on conspiracy theories, or else, using them as an excuse not to get themselves vaccinated. Vaccines are probably one the greatest medical advances of all times. Just think about smallpox, diptheria, polio, etc. etc

These particular vaccines have NOT been rushed through without proper testing, scientists have been working on Covid vaccines for years, and this last year finally receiving the funding to enable them to bring about successful conclusions. These vaccines are the the only final way out for the world of this Pandemic.

I am so grateful for them which can mean that we can start to return to some sort of normality. I have not been a person who has isolated myself away during this past year. Have gone out, continued to do my own weekly shop, etc. but was aware that this particular virus was causing total havoc with all our lives.

I would not be worried about coming across someone, either knowlingly or not, who has refused this protection. Would be unlikely to effect me, as I have had both of mine. They are putting themselves at risk, not me. I would continue to visit any of my children, etc. who had gone down this road, but would want to discuss this with them as they are wrong - 'No, I do not 'respect' their viewpoint - any more than I respect the viewpoint of those parents who have refused to have their children protected via vaccines - I think they are guilty of neglect!!!